PIKER PICKS: WEEK 7

Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold


10/19 1:00 PM EST

(2-4) New Orleans -1.5
(1-5) ATLANTA

(4-2) Tennessee
(5-0) CAROLINA -1.5

(3-2) Baltimore -2
(1-4) CINCINNATI

(0-5) San Diego
(3-3) CLEVELAND -5

(4-1) Dallas -3
(1-4) DETROIT

(4-2) New England
(4-1) MIAMI -5

(5-1) Denver
(5-0) MINNESOTA -3.5

(2-3) Philadelphia
(2-3) N.Y. GIANTS -3

(3-3) Green Bay
(3-2) ST. LOUIS -3.5

10/19 4:05 PM EST

(1-4) N.Y. Jets -3
(2-3) HOUSTON

10/19 4:15 PM EST

(3-3) Washington
(3-3) BUFFALO -3

(3-2) Tampa Bay -3.5
(2-4) SAN FRANCISCO

(1-4) Chicago
(4-1) SEATTLE -11

10/20 9:00 PM EST

(6-0) Kansas City -3.5
(2-4) OAKLAND

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 6 RESULTS

It is not yet apparent whether the Piker staff is improving in its ability to pick games or NFL teams are starting to show their true colors. Piker kicked some gridiron ass this weekend, going 10-4 against the spread. One of our unaminous picks, Philadelphia, lost to Dallas and let us down in a big way, showing that they are currently not a very good football team. Thus far, Donovan McNabb has failed to silence the critics. Is Dallas for real? If you look at their schedule so far, it's been soft and they haven't really faced a big test yet. The 'Boys are likely to go to 5-1 after Week 7, as they are on the road at lowly Detroit. After that, Dallas has six games in a row against opponents with .500 records or better, including Tampa Bay, New England, Carolina, and Miami. But, looking down the road, it's not unthinkable that the Cowboys can get into the playoffs with a 10-6 mark. The Carolina Panthers are for real. They hung tough and beat the Colts in OT at Indy and earned themselves a spot in the league's Top 5. KC is definitely for real. Another Alcoa Fantastic Finish in OT at Lambeau. The Pack let that game slip away, but they're still in the top half of the NFL. When you glance at this week's Piker Power Rankings, take note of the fact that there really are only 15 or so teams playing well right now. And if you make it all the way down to the bottom of the list, check out how many truly pathetic teams are celler dwelling. The J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets are on the board after blowing out the sinking Bills. Huge AFC East matchup this weekend between the Dolphins and the Patriots. Winner takes control of the division.

WON: Cleveland, Carolina, Miami, New England, New Orleans, Tennessee, Tampa Bay, Baltimore, San Francisco, St. Louis

LOST: Philadelphia, Green Bay, Denver, Buffalo

Posting a 10-4 record for Week 6 brings Piker's season tally to 39-30-3. Not too shabby.

PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS

After Week 6

(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)

1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)

2. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (3)

3. CAROLINA PANTHERS (6)

4. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (2)

5. MIAMI DOLPHINS (4)

6. TAMPA BAY BUCS (7)

7. DENVER BRONCOS (5)

8. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (8)

9. TENNESSEE TITANS (9)

10. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (13)

11. ST. LOUIS RAMS (14)

12. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)

13. DALLAS COWBOYS (17)

14. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (11)

15. BALTIMORE RAVENS (16)

16. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (10)

17. BUFFALO BILLS (12)

18. CLEVELAND BROWNS (22)

19. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (19)

20. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (20)

21. NEW YORK GIANTS (18)

22. OAKLAND RAIDERS (21)

23. CINCINNATI BENGALS (24)

24. HOUSTON TEXANS (23)

25. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (28)

26. NEW YORK JETS (31)

27. DETROIT LIONS (25)

28. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (27)

29. ATLANTA FALCONS (26)

30. CHICAGO BEARS (29)

31. ARIZONA CARDINALS (30)

32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 6

Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold


10/12 1:00 PM EST

Oakland
CLEVELAND -3

Philadephia
DALLAS -1

Kansas City
GREEN BAY -1.5

Carolina
INDIANAPOLIS -5

Miami -3
JACKSONVILLE

N.Y. Giants
NEW ENGLAND -2.5

Chicago
NEW ORLEANS -5.5

Houston
TENNESSEE -10

Tampa Bay -3
Washington

10/12 4:15 PM EST

Baltimore -5.5
ARIZONA

Pittsburgh
DENVER -6.5

Buffalo -3
N.Y. JETS

10/12 8:30 PM EST

San Francisco
SEATTLE -3.5

10/13 9:00 PM EST

Atlanta
ST. LOUIS -11

PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS

After Week 5

(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)

1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)

2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4)

3. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (5)

4. MIAMI DOLPHINS (6)

5. DENVER BRONCOS (3)

6. CAROLINA PANTHERS (9)

7. TAMPA BAY BUCS (2)

8. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (14)

9. TENNESSEE TITANS (7)

10. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (17)

11. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (10)

12. BUFFALO BILLS (11)

13. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (8)

14. ST. LOUIS RAMS (16)

15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (19)

16. BALTIMORE RAVENS (15)

17. DALLAS COWBOYS (20)

18. NEW YORK GIANTS (13)

19. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (12)

20. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (21)

21. OAKLAND RAIDERS (18)

22. CLEVELAND BROWNS (26)

23. HOUSTON TEXANS (22)

24. CINCINNATI BENGALS (25)

25. DETROIT LIONS (24)

26. ATLANTA FALCONS (23)

27. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (31)

28. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (27)

29. CHICAGO BEARS (32)

30. ARIZONA CARDINALS (28)

31. NEW YORK JETS (30)

32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (29)

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 5 RESULTS

It was a miserable week for the pack of Piker prognosticators. Going into the staff meeting, our four resident "experts" were split on 7 of the 14 games. After much deliberation and debate, the deadlocks were broken and a consensus agreed upon. In those 7 games, our record wound up 1-6-1. The staff could come to a unanimous decision on only two games. Lost both of 'em. Overall, Piker went 5-8-1 against the spread in Week 5, to bleed into the red for the first time. (On a personal side note: I was the only one on solid ground with an 8-5-1 record for the weekend.) Altogether, Piker's record for the season teeters on the edge of .500 at 29-26-3. Well, at least the Dolphins looked good in soundly defeating the New York football Giants, the Monday night matchup contained a phenomenal and improbable comeback -- one that definitely would have been featured on Alcoa's Fantastic Finishes segment back in the day -- and that punt return by KC's Dante Hall may have been the best I've ever seen.

WON: Minnesota, Dallas, Miami, Jacksonville, Washington

LOST: Buffalo, Carolina, Oakland, Seattle, Kansas City, Tennessee, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay

PUSHED: San Francisco

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 5

Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold


10/5 1:00 PM EST

Minnesota -4.5
ATLANTA

Cincinnati
BUFFALO -8

New Orleans
CAROLINA -6.5

Oakland -4
CHICAGO

Arizona
DALLAS -7

Seattle
GREEN BAY -2

Denver
KANSAS CITY -3

Tennessee -1
NEW ENGLAND

Miami Pick 'em
N.Y. GIANTS

10/5 4:05 PM EST

San Diego
JACKSONVILLE -3

10/5 4:15 PM EST

Washington
PHILADELPHIA -5.5

Detroit
SAN FRANCISCO -7

10/5 8:30 PM EST

Cleveland
PITTSBURGH -7

10/6 9:00 PM EST

Indianapolis
TAMPA BAY -4

PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS

(After Week 4)

1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

2. TAMPA BAY BUCS

3. DENVER BRONCOS

4. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

5. MINNESOTA VIKINGS

6. MIAMI DOLPHINS

7. TENNESSEE TITANS

8. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

9. CAROLINA PANTHERS

10. WASHINGTON REDSKINS

11. BUFFALO BILLS

12. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

13. NEW YORK GIANTS

14. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

15. BALTIMORE RAVENS

16. ST. LOUIS RAMS

17. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

18. OAKLAND RAIDERS

19. GREEN BAY PACKERS

20. DALLAS COWBOYS

21. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

22. HOUSTON TEXANS

23. ATLANTA FALCONS

24. DETROIT LIONS

25. CINCINNATI BENGALS

26. CLEVELAND BROWNS

27. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

28. ARIZONA CARDINALS

29. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

30. NEW YORK JETS

31. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

32. CHICAGO BEARS

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 4 RESULTS

Piker was in serious danger of losing some theoretical cash, but thanks to the Green Bay Packers covering against the Chicago Bears, Piker's crack staff of football experts avoided dipping under the .500 mark for the week. With Piker's beloved Miami Dolphins sitting on the sidelines on Sunday, coupled with the fact that Piker had to work on Sunday, Piker was not able to see any of the games. However, Piker saw all the highlights on SportsCenter and PrimeTime and is keenly aware of what's happening in the NFL. What's happening is it's damn near impossible to pick games with any consistency. Buffalo looked like the best team in the league a couple of weeks ago, now they've lost two straight and when it's all said and done, they might not even make the playoffs. Cleveland lost to Cincy at home, the Steelers lost to the Titans at home, the Ravens couldn't hang with the Chiefs, Detroit hung in with Denver, the Chargers should have beaten the Raiders, and the Jets flat out suck. In the end, Piker went 7-6-1 for in Week 4. It broke down like this:

WON: Houston, Minnesota, St. Louis, Carolina, Dallas, Indianapolis, Green Bay

LOST: Buffalo, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Oakland, Denver

PUSHED: Washington

Piker's overall record for the year now stands at 24-18-2. If it gets any worse, we're going to have to haul the jug full of change down to the supermarket and give the CoinStar seven cents on the dollar for some cold hard cash.

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 4

Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold

9/28 1:00 PM ET

Philadelphia
BUFFALO -3

Cincinnati
CLEVELAND -4.5

Jacksonville -3
HOUSTON

San Francisco
MINNESOTA Pick 'em

Tennessee
PITTSBURGH -3

Arizona
ST. LOUIS -10.5

New England
WASHINGTON -3

9/28 4:05 PM ET

Kansas City -3
BALTIMORE

San Diego
OAKLAND -7

9/28 4:15 PM ET

Atlanta
CAROLINA -6

Detroit
DENVER -12.5

Dallas
N.Y. JETS -3

9/28 8:30 PM ET

Indianapolis -2
NEW ORLEANS

9/29 9:00 PM ET

Green Bay -4
CHICAGO

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 3 RESULTS

The mighty Miami Dolphins finally showed their true Aqua and Orange colors on Sunday night, riding a heroic performance by Ricky Williams and a dominant defense to a resounding victory over the previously undefeated Buffalo Bills. Williams was the consummate workhorse, carrying 42 times for 153 yards and a late, game-clinching touchdown that wasn't signaled until the replay officials concluded that his knee was never down and his forward progress was never stopped. The Dolphin D came up big all night, stymying Drew Bledsoe and the high-powered Bills offense all night until a meaningless drive at the end of the game. The only points Miami allowed came on an interception return for a touchdown that was third receiver James McKnight's fault more than it was Jay Fiedler's. Now the Dolphins can be counted among the best teams in the NFL, most of which reside in the AFC at the moment. (See Piker's Power Rankings Below)

Piker picked pretty profoundly this past week, going 9 and 5 against the spread. On a strange, but not particularly difficult Sunday wager-wise, all the favorites covered in the early games, then all the dogs covered except San Diego in the afternoon. Then the favorites took over again, with Miami covering the three points on Sunday night and Denver easily covering the five points on Monday night.

WON: Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Tennessee, St. Louis, N.Y. Giants, Cleveland, Miami

LOST: Detroit, N.Y. Jets, Green Bay, San Diego, Oakland

Piker's overall record for the season now stands at: 17-12-1. Not successful enough to give up the day job, but respectable enough to buy a stack of CD's at Amoeba or Aron's.

PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS

(After Week 3)

1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

2. TAMPA BAY BUCS

3. DENVER BRONCOS

4. MIAMI DOLPHINS

5. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

6. BUFFALO BILLS

7. MINNESOTA VIKINGS

8. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

9. TENNESSEE TITANS

10. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

11. CAROLINA PANTHERS

12. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

13. NEW YORK GIANTS

14. BALTIMORE RAVENS

15. WASHINGTON REDSKINS

16. OAKLAND RAIDERS

17. ST. LOUIS RAMS

18. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

19. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

20. ATLANTA FALCONS

21. CLEVELAND BROWNS

22. GREEN BAY PACKERS

23. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

24. DALLAS COWBOYS

25. HOUSTON TEXANS

26. NEW YORK JETS

27. ARIZONA CARDINALS

28. CINCINNATI BENGALS

29. DETROIT LIONS

30. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

31. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

32. CHICAGO BEARS

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 3

Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold

9/21 1:00 PM ET

Tampa Bay -4
ATLANTA

Pittsburgh -4.5
CINCINNATI

Minnesota -3.5
DETROIT

Kansas City -7.5
HOUSTON

Jacksonville
INDY -7.5

N.Y. Jets
NEW ENGLAND -6.5

New Orleans
TENNESSEE -4.5

9/21 4:05 PM ET

Green Bay -7.5
ARIZONA

St. Louis
SEATTLE -3

N.Y. Giants
WASHINGTON -2.5

9/21 4:15 PM ET

Baltimore -1
SAN DIEGO

Cleveland
SAN FRANCISCO -7

9/21 8:30 PM ET

Buffalo
MIAMI -3

9/22 9:00 PM ET

Oakland
DENVER -5

PIKER'S PRIDE

Can we talk TV for a moment? All summer long, Salon's intrepid TV correspondent has been writing her cottontail off in a virtual vacuum. Well, it's autumn again, baby. And that means back to school, the return of football, Fall TV, and a chance for my favorite hare to hop back into the spotlight with her preview of the season's new sitcoms, ingeniously entitled "Why Can't We Be Friends?"

PIKER PICTURES

I was toying with the idea of naming my production company Piker Pictures. Or Piker Productions. I think Piker Pictures is the stronger of the two. I guess this discussion is in vain unless I actually find myself in the position where I have to form a production company. Until then... Here is a list of movies on my current must-see list:

1. LOST IN TRANSLATION

2. AMERICAN SPLENDOR

3. SCHOOL OF ROCK

4. THE RUNDOWN

5. MATCHSTICK MEN

PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS

1. BUFFALO BILLS

2. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

3. TAMPA BAY BUCS

4. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

5. DENVER BRONCOS

6. MINNESOTA VIKINGS

7. MIAMI DOLPHINS

8. TENNESSEE TITANS

9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

10. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

11. WASHINGTON REDSKINS

12. CAROLINA PANTHERS

13. OAKLAND RAIDERS

14. ST. LOUIS RAMS

15. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

16. GREEN BAY PACKERS

17. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

18. NEW YORK GIANTS

19. BALTIMORE RAVENS

20. ATLANTA FALCONS

21. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

22. CLEVELAND BROWNS

23. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

24. HOUSTON TEXANS

25. DALLAS COWBOYS

26. NEW YORK JETS

27. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

28. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

29. DETROIT LIONS

30. CINCINNATI BENGALS

31. CHICAGO BEARS

32. ARIZONA CARDINALS

PIKER PICKS: WEEK 2 RESULTS

Man, it's hard to bet football. Especially in the early part of the season. The Patriots beat the crap out of Philly in Philly? Carolina blocked an extra point at the end of regulation and beat Tampa Bay in overtime? Indy blew out the mighty Titans? Cincy almost beat the Raiders? Yeah, right... Next thing you're going to tell me is the Dolphins went up to the Meadowlands and rerouted the Jets. Are you kidding me? As Johnny Mac would yell with complete incredulity, "You cannot be serious!" Well, Piker may not have proven himself a particularly prescient prognosticator in Week 2 of the NFL season, but at least the 'Phins swam in the right direction and managed to save Wannestadt's giant scalp. For the time being.

Tabulating the results of Piker's first week of picks, we arrive at a final figure of 8-7-1 against the spread. With that record, Piker'll miss the playoffs by a half game in the AFC.

WON: Washington, Green Bay, Kansas City, New Orleans, Seattle, Carolina, Denver, Minnesota

LOST: Cleveland, Tennessee, Jacksonville, N.Y. Jets, Oakland, Philadelphia, N.Y. Giants

PUSHED: San Francisco

Look for Piker's Week 3 Picks on Friday. But, now you know not to follow them too closely before handing your betting card to the no-nonsense guy at the window of the Sports Book at the Bellagio.

PIKER PICKS

On the suggestion of Linsky, loyal friend and longtime Piker reader, a new segment will be introduced today: Piker Picks. Admittedly, I have a slight advantage over other preseason prognosticators because I'm making my selections armed with the results of Week 1, but let's face it, one week does not make a season. If that were the case, I would be even further down in the football dumps over the Dolphins atrocious and embarrassing Week 1 loss to the Houston Texans in Miami. The 'Phins can redeem themselves by vanquishing the rival Jets in the Meadowlands this Sunday. If they don't, the fickle fans in South Florida may be calling for the extra large cranium of Dave Wannestadt.

We'll begin with Piker's forecast for Super Bowl XXXVIII and the NFL Playoffs. Then, we'll move on to Piker's Picks for Week 2.

AFC

EAST: Miami Dolphins
NORTH: Pittsburgh Steelers
SOUTH: Tennessee Titans
WEST: Oakland Raiders
WILD CARDS: Kansas City Chiefs, Indianapolis Colts

NFC

EAST: Philadelphia Eagles
NORTH: Minnesota Vikings
SOUTH: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
WEST: San Francisco 49ers
WILD CARDS: New York Giants, Atlanta Falcons

AFC CHAMP: Tennessee Titans
NFC CHAMP: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

SUPER BOWL CHAMP: Tennessee Titans


WEEK 2

Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold


SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14

Washington
ATLANTA -3

Cleveland
BALTIMORE -2

Detroit
GREEN BAY -6.5

Tennessee
INDIANAPOLIS -2

Buffalo
JACKSONVILLE +3

Pittsburgh
KANSAS CITY -3

Houston
NEW ORLEANS -8.5

Miami
N.Y. JETS +3

San Francisco
St. Louis -3

Seattle
ARIZONA +4.5

Carolina
TAMPA BAY -9.5

Cincinnati
OAKLAND -12.5

New England
PHILADELPHIA -4.5

Denver
SAN DIEGO +3

Chicago
MINNESOTA -8.5

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15

Dallas
N.Y. GIANTS -7.5

SYNDICATION, HERE I COME

Tonight, we are filming the second episode of "The Stones" following the pilot. It also happens to be a milestone in my sitcom career...
100 episodes!

Here is the breakdown:

Boston Common: 26
Food & Company: 1 (Pilot)
Alright Already: 21
Oh Baby: 1 (Pilot)
Maggie Winters: 18
Sugar Hill: 1 (Pilot)
Battery Park: 7
The Ellen Show: 18
Watching Ellie: 4
Rubbing Charlie: 1 (Pilot)
The Stones: 2

Where's my back end profit participation?

LAZY LISTS

THINGS I THOUGHT WERE GREAT RECENTLY

The Producers at The Pantages Theater
Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band at Dodger Stadium
Belle & Sebastian and Bright Eyes at The Greek Theater
The Matrix: Reloaded on the IMAX
Cinespia Screenings at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary
Dirty Pretty Things
The Amazing Race
The Miami Heat Signing Lamar Odom
Finding a House in the Eagle Rock Area
My Mechanic
Sleeping a Full 8 Hours One Night


THINGS I THOUGHT WERE PRETTY GOOD RECENTLY

Open Range
Bend It Like Beckham
Project Greenlight
Andy Roddick Winning Back to Back Tournaments
The PGA Championship


THING I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WATCHING RELIGIOUSLY

Paradise Hotel


THINGS I THOUGHT SUCKED RECENTLY

Michael Vick Breaking His Leg
Stolen Summer on DVD
The Restaurant Mexico City in Los Feliz
Working on the Weekends
Getting Caught in Morning Traffic... On the Way Home From Work
Writing This While Still at Work
Not Getting To See My Girl Enough