PIKER PICKS: WEEK 11
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/16 1:00 PM ET
(3-6) Houston
(4-5) BUFFALO -7
(4-5) Washington
(7-2) CAROLINA -6
(6-3) St. Louis -6
(3-6) CHICAGO
(9-0) Kansas City -6
(4-5) CINCINNATI
(3-6) Arizona
(3-6) CLEVELAND -6
(5-4) Baltimore
(5-4) MIAMI -6
(2-7) Atlanta
(4-5) NEW ORLEANS -8.5
(4-5) N.Y. Giants
(6-3) PHILADELPHIA -3.5
(2-7) Jacksonville
(7-2) TENNESSEE -10
11/16 4:05 PM ET
(2-7) San Diego
(5-4) DENVER -8
(3-6) N.Y. Jets
(7-2) INDIANAPOLIS -6
(6-3) Minnesota -4.5
(2-7) OAKLAND
(3-6) Detroit
(6-3) SEATTLE -10
(4-5) Green Bay
(4-5) TAMPA BAY -4
11/16 8:30 PM ET
(7-2) Dallas
(7-2) NEW ENGLAND -4
11/17 9:00 PM ET
(3-6) Pittsburgh
(4-5) SAN FRANCISCO -4
Saturday, November 15, 2003
Thursday, November 13, 2003
BINGO!
News from the "craziest thing you've ever heard" desk...
This past weekend, one of my greatest friends in the whole wide world left a message for me to call him back as soon as possible. As soon as I called him, he said, "Guess what?" I said, "You won the lottery." He replied, "No. But close. My parents did." One of my favorite families on the planet hit the jackpot as sole winners of the Florida lottery and a cool $15 million. My friend's Dad -- who happens to be a terrific guy and one of the funniest people I know -- played the same twenty sets of numbers he's been playing every week for God knows how long. Sunday morning, he plugged the numbers into his custom-made lotto spreadsheet and Bam! -- one ticket had six matches. He called his wife into the room -- who is also a wonderful woman and a riot in her own right -- and told her they just won the lottery. She dryly fired back, "Yeah right, you win the lottery every week." He assured her this was no joke and they called up their son and daughter -- who are honestly two of my closest friends -- to tell them the big news. Did I happen to mention that these are four of my all-time favorite people?
Congratulations! It couldn't happen to a nicer family.
News from the "craziest thing you've ever heard" desk...
This past weekend, one of my greatest friends in the whole wide world left a message for me to call him back as soon as possible. As soon as I called him, he said, "Guess what?" I said, "You won the lottery." He replied, "No. But close. My parents did." One of my favorite families on the planet hit the jackpot as sole winners of the Florida lottery and a cool $15 million. My friend's Dad -- who happens to be a terrific guy and one of the funniest people I know -- played the same twenty sets of numbers he's been playing every week for God knows how long. Sunday morning, he plugged the numbers into his custom-made lotto spreadsheet and Bam! -- one ticket had six matches. He called his wife into the room -- who is also a wonderful woman and a riot in her own right -- and told her they just won the lottery. She dryly fired back, "Yeah right, you win the lottery every week." He assured her this was no joke and they called up their son and daughter -- who are honestly two of my closest friends -- to tell them the big news. Did I happen to mention that these are four of my all-time favorite people?
Congratulations! It couldn't happen to a nicer family.
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 10 RESULTS
We're through the looking glass here, people. Up is down. Down is up. Black is white. White is black.
- Kevin Costner as Jim Garrison in Oliver Stone's "JFK"
Few things made sense in the NFL this past weekend. The (1-7) Jacksonville Jaguars shocked the (7-1) Indianapolis Colts. The (1-7) San Diego Chargers upset the (6-2) Minnesota Vikings. The (1-7) Atlanta Falcons upended the (4-4) New York Giants in the Meadowlands. On their home turf, Tampa Bay's once-dominating defense allowed Carolina quarterback Jake Del Homme to lead his team down the field for the winning touchdown in the last two minutes and gave the Panthers a sweep of the regular season series over the Bucs. And take a long look below at just who is now the worst team in football -- last year's AFC Champion Oakland Raiders. What the f**k is going on here? This was easily the nuttiest week in the NFL so far, and I've already made that claim several times this season.
At least there were some things that held true to form -- KC remained undefeated by beating up on the disappointing Browns, Pittsburgh got back on the winning track by taking care of Arizona, Steve Spurrier pulled a ball play out of his ass to rescue the Redskins' reeling season and help bring the high-flying Seahawks back down to Earth, and the Miami Dolphins proved yet again that you can't count on them to block anyone or beat anyone after November 1st.
As far as Piker's Picks are concerned... we're in trouble. Not only did the Warner Bros. pull the plug on "The Stones," in effect they pulled their financing for Piker's crack staff of expert prognosticators. Last week, using a reduced staff of three, Piker suffered through it's worst football weekend yet with a 3-8-3 mark. The oddsmakers had a hell of a week, nailing the exact spread on three games after totaling four for the season heading into Week 10. Granted, this was without a doubt the most difficult week to handicap, what with all the upsets and such, but now Piker stares into the face of Week 11 armed only with his own football instincts. No staff. No discussion. Nothing. Just Piker and the Pigskin. Actually, that sounds like a pretty catchy title to an "Undersized Guy Comes Off the Bench to Lead His Team to Victory" Thanksgiving movie...
WON: Kansas City, Atlanta, Tennessee
LOST: Tampa Bay, Houston, Indianapolis, Arizona, Seattle, Minnesota, Baltimore, Green Bay
PUSHED: Chicago, Dallas, N.Y. Jets
Piker's record for the season took a giant leap backwards this week and now stands at: 65-56-7.
We're through the looking glass here, people. Up is down. Down is up. Black is white. White is black.
- Kevin Costner as Jim Garrison in Oliver Stone's "JFK"
Few things made sense in the NFL this past weekend. The (1-7) Jacksonville Jaguars shocked the (7-1) Indianapolis Colts. The (1-7) San Diego Chargers upset the (6-2) Minnesota Vikings. The (1-7) Atlanta Falcons upended the (4-4) New York Giants in the Meadowlands. On their home turf, Tampa Bay's once-dominating defense allowed Carolina quarterback Jake Del Homme to lead his team down the field for the winning touchdown in the last two minutes and gave the Panthers a sweep of the regular season series over the Bucs. And take a long look below at just who is now the worst team in football -- last year's AFC Champion Oakland Raiders. What the f**k is going on here? This was easily the nuttiest week in the NFL so far, and I've already made that claim several times this season.
At least there were some things that held true to form -- KC remained undefeated by beating up on the disappointing Browns, Pittsburgh got back on the winning track by taking care of Arizona, Steve Spurrier pulled a ball play out of his ass to rescue the Redskins' reeling season and help bring the high-flying Seahawks back down to Earth, and the Miami Dolphins proved yet again that you can't count on them to block anyone or beat anyone after November 1st.
As far as Piker's Picks are concerned... we're in trouble. Not only did the Warner Bros. pull the plug on "The Stones," in effect they pulled their financing for Piker's crack staff of expert prognosticators. Last week, using a reduced staff of three, Piker suffered through it's worst football weekend yet with a 3-8-3 mark. The oddsmakers had a hell of a week, nailing the exact spread on three games after totaling four for the season heading into Week 10. Granted, this was without a doubt the most difficult week to handicap, what with all the upsets and such, but now Piker stares into the face of Week 11 armed only with his own football instincts. No staff. No discussion. Nothing. Just Piker and the Pigskin. Actually, that sounds like a pretty catchy title to an "Undersized Guy Comes Off the Bench to Lead His Team to Victory" Thanksgiving movie...
WON: Kansas City, Atlanta, Tennessee
LOST: Tampa Bay, Houston, Indianapolis, Arizona, Seattle, Minnesota, Baltimore, Green Bay
PUSHED: Chicago, Dallas, N.Y. Jets
Piker's record for the season took a giant leap backwards this week and now stands at: 65-56-7.
PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS
After Week 10
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. TENNESSEE TITANS (3)
3. CAROLINA PANTHERS (6)
4. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4)
5. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (2)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (9)
7. DALLAS COWBOYS (11)
8. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (12)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (7)
10. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (5)
11. MIAMI DOLPHINS (8)
12. BALTIMORE RAVENS (15)
13. TAMPA BAY BUCS (10)
14. DENVER BRONCOS (14)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (13)
16. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (20)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
19. CINCINNATI BENGALS (21)
20. NEW YORK GIANTS (16)
21. NEW YORK JETS (22)
22. BUFFALO BILLS (19)
23. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (27)
24. CLEVELAND BROWNS (23)
25. HOUSTON TEXANS (24)
26. ARIZONA CARDINALS (26)
27. DETROIT LIONS (28)
28. CHICAGO BEARS (25)
29. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (30)
30. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (31)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (32)
32. OAKLAND RAIDERS (29)
After Week 10
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. TENNESSEE TITANS (3)
3. CAROLINA PANTHERS (6)
4. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4)
5. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (2)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (9)
7. DALLAS COWBOYS (11)
8. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (12)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (7)
10. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (5)
11. MIAMI DOLPHINS (8)
12. BALTIMORE RAVENS (15)
13. TAMPA BAY BUCS (10)
14. DENVER BRONCOS (14)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (13)
16. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (20)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
19. CINCINNATI BENGALS (21)
20. NEW YORK GIANTS (16)
21. NEW YORK JETS (22)
22. BUFFALO BILLS (19)
23. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (27)
24. CLEVELAND BROWNS (23)
25. HOUSTON TEXANS (24)
26. ARIZONA CARDINALS (26)
27. DETROIT LIONS (28)
28. CHICAGO BEARS (25)
29. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (30)
30. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (31)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (32)
32. OAKLAND RAIDERS (29)