THE DAY THE LAUGHTRACK DIED
Apparently, the Big Brother house was ripped up and lifted off the ground by a huge tornado of networks and plunked down right in the middle of Sitcomland, crushing the stale genre and killing it dead. From coast to coast, including a guy named Goodykoontz, the demise of the sitcom dominated the analysis of the upfront presentations from the Big Four and Little Two. Last week in New York, the six broadcast networks announced their schedules for the upcoming year, trotting out their new ponies, and wooing billions of dollars in advertising money. Arguably, the biggest story was how reality television has taken over the airwaves and the sitcom has faded into oblivion. Working on sitcoms for the past eight years has allowed me to see things from the inside out, and I'm afraid I've seen this coming for some time. I may have even written about it here on Piker, I honestly can't remember. Either way, the sitcom is in crisis and here are several reasons why:
1) THE FORMAT IS AS STALE AS THE CRUST ON YOUR UNDERWEAR
Situation comedies have now been around for 50 years. Their heyday has come and gone and come and gone again. Times have changed. Audiences have become more savvy. They've seen just about every sitcom plot imaginable. So have the writers, and so have the network executives. It's a tired medium. Exhausted, in fact.
While shooting on a soundstage offers great control over production and the ability to shoot in front of a live studio audience, the artificial feel it creates visually feels like a vestige of another era. Video games, action movies, and iPods offer visceral experiences the sitcom simply can't compete with. The rhythms of sitcom dialogue are repetitive, dulling the senses, while the plots are predictable and pedestrian. And quite frankly, the ever-present laughtrack is annoying, pandering, and insulting, and never fails to detract from the viewing experience.
2) THE PROCESS IS PREPOSTEROUS
Getting a sitcom on the air is ridiculously hard. You would think that with such a rigorous system in place the best material would naturally come to the surface. It doesn't. The networks don't take enough chances. Fox takes some, but their taste is iffy. The funniest shows on TV are on cable. "Curb Your Enthusiam", "The Office", "The Daily Show," "South Park," "Significant Others", etc. And "Dave Chappelle's Show" might just be the funniest thing anywhere on the dial. I know it's stating the obvious, but you can get away with more on cable. And not only is getting away with more funnier, but not getting away with more handcuffs the networks from delivering a product that will appeal to their desired demographic.
And that's just getting a show on the air. Once you land on the schedule, you're forced to deal with the incessantly meddling presence of network executives in every decision you make. The axiom "Too many cooks in the kitchen" was never more applicable, except of course in an overstaffed restaurant. With only a handful of exceptions, network executives don't have very good creative instincts. It's not that there aren't funny people writing for sitcoms. There are many talented showrunners who simply are not free to communicate their visions to the mass audience because of all the network interference. By far, HBO has taken the best approach to building a comedy brand for it's network. They've done it by hiring good executives and making deals with singularly talented writers, actors, and directors. And the good executives know not to get in the way of the singularly talented creative people. They contribute, but they don't hover, and that leads to creative freedom.
3) THE "SEINFELD" SYNDROME
"Seinfeld" set the bar too high. With it's stated objectives of "no hugs" and "no learning," that wicked show turned the traditional sitcom on its head. And not one has approached the "Seinfeld" stratosphere since in terms of hilarity. "Frasier" and "Friends" snuck in before "Seinfeld" slammed the door shut, and "Everybody Loves Raymond" decided very early on to embrace tradition and make hugging and learning funny in spite of being old-fashioned. Now "Frasier" and "Friends" are done and "Raymond" is about to embark on its farewell tour. After that, all bias aside, the show I worked on last season and will be working on next season will be the funniest traditional sitcom left. And don't think I'm kidding myself, I'm aware that "Will & Grace" is no "Seinfeld."
But Larry David and several other brave comedy pioneers are showing us the way. The future of the network half-hour most definitely rests on the shoulders of the single-camera comedy. Shows like David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Sex and the City," "Scrubs," "Arrested Development," and "The Office," have demonstrated how the sitcom can evolve. And evolve it must. Despite the fact that all of the above shows are critically successful, none of them is what you would call a ratings juggernaut or anything close to a cash cow. In fact, not one single camera comedy has proven to be a franchise player. "Malcolm in the Middle" and "Bernie Mac" flirted with Nielson success before leveling out, and they may represent the closest things to single camera network hits. Until a single camera comedy strikes ratings gold and sells into syndication for piles of money, the sitcom's transition from the stale-old traditional format to single camera will not be complete.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
THE HEAT IS OFF... FOR NOW
The Dwayne Wade era has officially begun in Miami. The spotlight may have been on rookies LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony during the regular season, but the Heat rookie used the post-season to give the basketball world a glimpse of how bright his star shines. Wade was unstoppable. Even in yesterday's disappointing Game 6 loss to Indiana to end the Miami Heat season, Wade carried the Heat on his rookie shoulders by making one amazing shot after another, just as he willed Marquette to the Final Four a year ago. And all this while no one else on the Heat could find a way a score. Make no mistake about it, the Heat is now Dwayne Wade's team, and will be for a long time.
My hope is that the Heat keep their nucleus intact. Wade, Lamar Odom, and Caron Butler are outstanding young players who gained immeasurable experience in the playoffs. Brian Grant has the heart of a lion and is very valuable to this young team. In my opinion, Rafer Alston has the ability to develop into an excellent backup point guard. However, Eddie Jones must go. He does not have that X-factor that you need from one of your highest paid players. Call it heart. Call it will. Call it clutch. Whatever you want to call it, Eddie Jones doesn't have it. He doesn't carry that confidence that he can step up big when he needs to. He doesn't have that swagger. Keeping him around might actually hold this team back from progressing next season. Instead, I'd like to see the team acquire a point guard to free up Dwayne Wade to play the 2-guard spot. Although talented enough to play the position, Wade is not a natural point guard and can better utilize his scorer's mentality on the wing. And without a doubt, the Heat need to get bigger. Brian Grant is a woefully undersized center. He should be playing power forward, ideally alongside a post-up, shot-blocking center. I know that's a lot to ask for, but that's what this team needs -- a point guard and a center. Those players don't have to be superstars because the Heat has two potential All-Stars in Dwayne Wade and Lamar Odom. And while we're at it, I'd love to see the Heat pick up a couple of veteran guys to come off the bench. Guys with experience who know how to do the little things necessary to help their team win playoff games. The Heat won a lot more playoff games this year than anybody thought they would. Especially after Pat Riley announced right before the season started that he was stepping down as head coach. Stan Van Gundy came in, struggled through an 0-7 start and some growing pains, then eventually got the most out of his talented but inexperienced team, and led them to a first round win in the playoffs. I'm proud to be a Heat fan today. The future is quite bright indeed.
The Dwayne Wade era has officially begun in Miami. The spotlight may have been on rookies LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony during the regular season, but the Heat rookie used the post-season to give the basketball world a glimpse of how bright his star shines. Wade was unstoppable. Even in yesterday's disappointing Game 6 loss to Indiana to end the Miami Heat season, Wade carried the Heat on his rookie shoulders by making one amazing shot after another, just as he willed Marquette to the Final Four a year ago. And all this while no one else on the Heat could find a way a score. Make no mistake about it, the Heat is now Dwayne Wade's team, and will be for a long time.
My hope is that the Heat keep their nucleus intact. Wade, Lamar Odom, and Caron Butler are outstanding young players who gained immeasurable experience in the playoffs. Brian Grant has the heart of a lion and is very valuable to this young team. In my opinion, Rafer Alston has the ability to develop into an excellent backup point guard. However, Eddie Jones must go. He does not have that X-factor that you need from one of your highest paid players. Call it heart. Call it will. Call it clutch. Whatever you want to call it, Eddie Jones doesn't have it. He doesn't carry that confidence that he can step up big when he needs to. He doesn't have that swagger. Keeping him around might actually hold this team back from progressing next season. Instead, I'd like to see the team acquire a point guard to free up Dwayne Wade to play the 2-guard spot. Although talented enough to play the position, Wade is not a natural point guard and can better utilize his scorer's mentality on the wing. And without a doubt, the Heat need to get bigger. Brian Grant is a woefully undersized center. He should be playing power forward, ideally alongside a post-up, shot-blocking center. I know that's a lot to ask for, but that's what this team needs -- a point guard and a center. Those players don't have to be superstars because the Heat has two potential All-Stars in Dwayne Wade and Lamar Odom. And while we're at it, I'd love to see the Heat pick up a couple of veteran guys to come off the bench. Guys with experience who know how to do the little things necessary to help their team win playoff games. The Heat won a lot more playoff games this year than anybody thought they would. Especially after Pat Riley announced right before the season started that he was stepping down as head coach. Stan Van Gundy came in, struggled through an 0-7 start and some growing pains, then eventually got the most out of his talented but inexperienced team, and led them to a first round win in the playoffs. I'm proud to be a Heat fan today. The future is quite bright indeed.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
SCORECARD... RADAR GUN... SCALPEL...
Peter Gammons disects the first month of the baseball season like a relentless surgeon with an undying passion for the OR. Besides that first Yankees-Red Sox game of the season, I didn't watch a lick of baseball in April. But, after reading Gammons, I feel like I'm all caught up. Good thing he was on call and not afraid to pick up a double shift.
Peter Gammons disects the first month of the baseball season like a relentless surgeon with an undying passion for the OR. Besides that first Yankees-Red Sox game of the season, I didn't watch a lick of baseball in April. But, after reading Gammons, I feel like I'm all caught up. Good thing he was on call and not afraid to pick up a double shift.
HOME IS WHERE THE HEAT IS
As a rule, I don't watch much of the NBA regular season. It's long, it's tedious, and the stakes usually aren't that high. This past season, I watched a little bit more than usual because of LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony coming into the league and giving it a much-needed shot of adrenaline. However, when the NBA Playoffs roll around, I start itching and twitching if I miss even one game. I love the intensity and the sense of urgency. There's tension. There's excitement. There's pressure. It's a chess match. It's a war. It's do or die. And never more so than in a Game 7 situation. Tonight is exactly that for the Miami Heat and the New Orleans Hornets. The home team has won each game of the series, and Game 7 is in Miami, where the Heat have won fifteen straight. The Heat earned that advantage by being one game better than the Hornets during the regular season. Now, they have to use it to be one game better than the Hornets in the playoffs. Miami won the first two games of the series on their home floor, the first on a buzzer-beater by rookie sensation Dwayne Wade, and the second in a thirty-point blowout. But the Heat's inexperience and lack of muscle inside showed in two consecutive losses in New Orleans to even the series. In those games, it was readily apparent that the Heat are in fact a tiny team by NBA standards, with an undersized, spazzy Brian Grant at center and rookie Udonis Haslem as his only backup. But, the Heat returned home and squeezed out a Game 5 victory by four points, then were almost run out of the building in Game 6 by the irritating and intimidating Hornets. Desperate to prolong their post-season, the Hornets set out to get inside the young heads of the Heat and for much of the game, they succeeded. P.J. Brown completely outplayed Lamar Odom, outscoring him and dominating him on the boards. Because the Heat are small they need Odom to get in there and rebound, especially on the defensive end. But Brown, who picked up his sportsmanship award during the game, trash-talked and bullied Odom into his worst game of the series. However, the Heat regained some self-respect by attempting a furious comeback at the end that brought them from eighteen down to within four, but no closer. In order to win Game 7 tonight and advance to the second round, the Heat must keep their composure and force the Hornets to play their game on their home court. They definitely need to box out better on the defensive boards and avoid long stretches without a field goal. Baron Davis is going to get his. Besides Davis though, the Heat are younger, faster, and more talented than the rest of the Hornets. Luckily, they seem to remember that in the comforts of their own home.
Let's Go Heat!
As a rule, I don't watch much of the NBA regular season. It's long, it's tedious, and the stakes usually aren't that high. This past season, I watched a little bit more than usual because of LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony coming into the league and giving it a much-needed shot of adrenaline. However, when the NBA Playoffs roll around, I start itching and twitching if I miss even one game. I love the intensity and the sense of urgency. There's tension. There's excitement. There's pressure. It's a chess match. It's a war. It's do or die. And never more so than in a Game 7 situation. Tonight is exactly that for the Miami Heat and the New Orleans Hornets. The home team has won each game of the series, and Game 7 is in Miami, where the Heat have won fifteen straight. The Heat earned that advantage by being one game better than the Hornets during the regular season. Now, they have to use it to be one game better than the Hornets in the playoffs. Miami won the first two games of the series on their home floor, the first on a buzzer-beater by rookie sensation Dwayne Wade, and the second in a thirty-point blowout. But the Heat's inexperience and lack of muscle inside showed in two consecutive losses in New Orleans to even the series. In those games, it was readily apparent that the Heat are in fact a tiny team by NBA standards, with an undersized, spazzy Brian Grant at center and rookie Udonis Haslem as his only backup. But, the Heat returned home and squeezed out a Game 5 victory by four points, then were almost run out of the building in Game 6 by the irritating and intimidating Hornets. Desperate to prolong their post-season, the Hornets set out to get inside the young heads of the Heat and for much of the game, they succeeded. P.J. Brown completely outplayed Lamar Odom, outscoring him and dominating him on the boards. Because the Heat are small they need Odom to get in there and rebound, especially on the defensive end. But Brown, who picked up his sportsmanship award during the game, trash-talked and bullied Odom into his worst game of the series. However, the Heat regained some self-respect by attempting a furious comeback at the end that brought them from eighteen down to within four, but no closer. In order to win Game 7 tonight and advance to the second round, the Heat must keep their composure and force the Hornets to play their game on their home court. They definitely need to box out better on the defensive boards and avoid long stretches without a field goal. Baron Davis is going to get his. Besides Davis though, the Heat are younger, faster, and more talented than the rest of the Hornets. Luckily, they seem to remember that in the comforts of their own home.
Let's Go Heat!
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
GATHERING NO MOSS
Tonight was to have marked the first time a "Written By Barry Langer" credit appeared on a network sitcom. However, as previously reported, CBS cancelled "The Stones" a few weeks ago. Instead of "The Stones," CBS will be rolling the dice for big ratings with a rerun of "Yes, Dear." I suggest you avoid that pitiful excuse for comedy like the plague and head over to Fox for some soapy fun on "The O.C.", which thankfully just received a pick up order for next season. And don't worry, I'm confident that you'll be seeing the "Written By Barry Langer" credit plenty in the future. Then one day... "Created By Barry Langer"
Tonight was to have marked the first time a "Written By Barry Langer" credit appeared on a network sitcom. However, as previously reported, CBS cancelled "The Stones" a few weeks ago. Instead of "The Stones," CBS will be rolling the dice for big ratings with a rerun of "Yes, Dear." I suggest you avoid that pitiful excuse for comedy like the plague and head over to Fox for some soapy fun on "The O.C.", which thankfully just received a pick up order for next season. And don't worry, I'm confident that you'll be seeing the "Written By Barry Langer" credit plenty in the future. Then one day... "Created By Barry Langer"
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
WHO THE HELL BUILT THIS CITY?
Believe me, I'm well aware that I've been slack in my blogging... duties, but a couple of items caught my attention today and I'm bloggin' the hell out of 'em.
The first item is a press release announcing Blender magazine's 50 Worst Songs Ever! The list will be published in Blender's upcoming issue, and will be the basis for a VH1 special called -- I'm not making this up -- 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.
The second item is an outstanding photo essay on Rem Koolhaas by Christopher Hawthorne on Slate. I'll admit to possessing only a superficial knowledge of the world of architecture, but it's a subject that fascinates me and I'm always looking to learn more. On instinct, I find Koolhaas' buildings and designs to be dazzling and daring, but I want to have a better understanding of the ideas behind the concepts. On the recommendation of the photo essayist, I'm planning on reading Rem Koolhaas' Delirious New York. Then I'm going to build my own city. But, under no circumstances will I be using rock 'n roll as my foundation.
Believe me, I'm well aware that I've been slack in my blogging... duties, but a couple of items caught my attention today and I'm bloggin' the hell out of 'em.
The first item is a press release announcing Blender magazine's 50 Worst Songs Ever! The list will be published in Blender's upcoming issue, and will be the basis for a VH1 special called -- I'm not making this up -- 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.
The second item is an outstanding photo essay on Rem Koolhaas by Christopher Hawthorne on Slate. I'll admit to possessing only a superficial knowledge of the world of architecture, but it's a subject that fascinates me and I'm always looking to learn more. On instinct, I find Koolhaas' buildings and designs to be dazzling and daring, but I want to have a better understanding of the ideas behind the concepts. On the recommendation of the photo essayist, I'm planning on reading Rem Koolhaas' Delirious New York. Then I'm going to build my own city. But, under no circumstances will I be using rock 'n roll as my foundation.
I BE ILLIN'
I got the flues. And I got it bad. Caught the flu bug from My Girl and have basically been bed-ridden since Friday. Between the two of us, we've gone through nine boxes of Kleenex, two bottles of Dayquil, and a bottle and a half of Nyquil in five days. It's ugly. It's phlegmy. It's mucousy. It's complete lethargy.
While laid up, I've taken advantage of the downtime to catch up on some sitcoms. I must admit, one of my greatest pleasures these days is deleting things off TiVo after I've watched them. We have two TiVo's in our household, with a maximum of 115 hours of storage capacity, yet we're still fighting a losing battle. So, forced by illness to sit still, I watched the entire season to date of "Scrubs". Now, I'm not going to claim that "Scrubs" is the best show on TV, but I have a soft spot for it. I really enjoy the characters and the tone, and it's a great show to watch when you're sick. Despite having to continually lobby to keep saving the episodes, TiVo allowed me to create my own "Scrubs" marathon when I really needed it. So, now I'm up to date and I'm looking forward to Turk and Carla's upcoming wedding.
In addtion to about twelve episodes of "Scrubs," I also watched three episodes of "Arrested Development", which just cracks me up. Quite possibly the funniest show on television right now. It's a shame nobody watches it. Unless you're "The X-Files" eight years ago, 9:30 Sunday night on Fox is not a great place to be. Also, "Arrested Development" is not broad comedy. It's unfamiliar and unique, and if you're going to do that kind of comedy, generally you want to be on HBO or Comedy Central or BBC America or Bravo or some place on the dial where smart, curious people are actually looking for quality stuff. These days, the networks aren't particularly known for breeding hilarity. I just hope Fox shows some patience and sticks with this wickedly funny show until the people show up. On a personal note, I think Buster is my favorite character on the show.
So, if you're scoring at home, that's 12 for "Scrubs," 3 for "Arrested Develepment," and you can add 3 for "Significant Others". Airing on Bravo, this show about four couples in therapy features a gifted group of improvisational actors who do a skillful job of finding truth and humor in portraying seemingly real relationships. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend checking it out. They only made a total of six episodes, and Bravo repeats them frequently, so it won't be difficult to get up to speed if you so desire.
To round out the scorecard, you can chalk up 3 God-awful "Friends" episodes from this season, and 3 funny "Will & Grace" episodes from the current season that I worked on but never saw cut together. Add it all up and you get comedy overload. By the end of it, I couldn't even bring myself to laugh at the things I thought were funny. But, I did manage to mix in a ton a of sports along the way. Watched a very disappointing Yankees-Red Sox game, a special Friday night telecast on Fox. The Yanks were listless and lifeless, playing a poor brand of baseball and not having much fun doing it. They wound up losing three out of four to the detested Red Sox, culminating in yesterday's late inning collapse on Patriots Day. So the Red Sox win Round 1. But I wouldn't write the Yanks off just yet. They have too much payroll and too much talent. I mean, come on, A-Rod's not going to hit .150 for the entire season.
Besides baseball, I also watched some playoff hockey and portions of each of the opening round games in the NBA playoffs. The only game I was truly invested in was the Miami Heat game. I've been a Heat fan since they were born, having attended the first ever regular season Heat game -- a twenty-point loss to the Clippers. I was excited to see them back in the playoffs for the first time in a while, and they've got a really young, athletic, and exciting team. True to form, they took control of the game against the New Orleans Hornets, only to show their youth and inexperience in a horrendous scoring drought down the stretch. The Hornets came all the way back from a 12-point fourth quarter deficit to tie the game in the final minute. It took a driving, curling, twisting clutch play by Miami rookie phenom Dwayne Wade to win the game with one second left on the clock. Unbelievably frustrating to watch them squander the lead with such inept play, then tremendously exciting to see them pull it out in such dramatic fashion.
All this from the comfort of my own bed. Armed only with the TiVo remote. And some Dayquil, and a few mugs of Cold Care tea, and a bag of Halls Mentho-Lyptus cough drops, and an endless stream of Kleenex with Aloe...
I got the flues. And I got it bad. Caught the flu bug from My Girl and have basically been bed-ridden since Friday. Between the two of us, we've gone through nine boxes of Kleenex, two bottles of Dayquil, and a bottle and a half of Nyquil in five days. It's ugly. It's phlegmy. It's mucousy. It's complete lethargy.
While laid up, I've taken advantage of the downtime to catch up on some sitcoms. I must admit, one of my greatest pleasures these days is deleting things off TiVo after I've watched them. We have two TiVo's in our household, with a maximum of 115 hours of storage capacity, yet we're still fighting a losing battle. So, forced by illness to sit still, I watched the entire season to date of "Scrubs". Now, I'm not going to claim that "Scrubs" is the best show on TV, but I have a soft spot for it. I really enjoy the characters and the tone, and it's a great show to watch when you're sick. Despite having to continually lobby to keep saving the episodes, TiVo allowed me to create my own "Scrubs" marathon when I really needed it. So, now I'm up to date and I'm looking forward to Turk and Carla's upcoming wedding.
In addtion to about twelve episodes of "Scrubs," I also watched three episodes of "Arrested Development", which just cracks me up. Quite possibly the funniest show on television right now. It's a shame nobody watches it. Unless you're "The X-Files" eight years ago, 9:30 Sunday night on Fox is not a great place to be. Also, "Arrested Development" is not broad comedy. It's unfamiliar and unique, and if you're going to do that kind of comedy, generally you want to be on HBO or Comedy Central or BBC America or Bravo or some place on the dial where smart, curious people are actually looking for quality stuff. These days, the networks aren't particularly known for breeding hilarity. I just hope Fox shows some patience and sticks with this wickedly funny show until the people show up. On a personal note, I think Buster is my favorite character on the show.
So, if you're scoring at home, that's 12 for "Scrubs," 3 for "Arrested Develepment," and you can add 3 for "Significant Others". Airing on Bravo, this show about four couples in therapy features a gifted group of improvisational actors who do a skillful job of finding truth and humor in portraying seemingly real relationships. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend checking it out. They only made a total of six episodes, and Bravo repeats them frequently, so it won't be difficult to get up to speed if you so desire.
To round out the scorecard, you can chalk up 3 God-awful "Friends" episodes from this season, and 3 funny "Will & Grace" episodes from the current season that I worked on but never saw cut together. Add it all up and you get comedy overload. By the end of it, I couldn't even bring myself to laugh at the things I thought were funny. But, I did manage to mix in a ton a of sports along the way. Watched a very disappointing Yankees-Red Sox game, a special Friday night telecast on Fox. The Yanks were listless and lifeless, playing a poor brand of baseball and not having much fun doing it. They wound up losing three out of four to the detested Red Sox, culminating in yesterday's late inning collapse on Patriots Day. So the Red Sox win Round 1. But I wouldn't write the Yanks off just yet. They have too much payroll and too much talent. I mean, come on, A-Rod's not going to hit .150 for the entire season.
Besides baseball, I also watched some playoff hockey and portions of each of the opening round games in the NBA playoffs. The only game I was truly invested in was the Miami Heat game. I've been a Heat fan since they were born, having attended the first ever regular season Heat game -- a twenty-point loss to the Clippers. I was excited to see them back in the playoffs for the first time in a while, and they've got a really young, athletic, and exciting team. True to form, they took control of the game against the New Orleans Hornets, only to show their youth and inexperience in a horrendous scoring drought down the stretch. The Hornets came all the way back from a 12-point fourth quarter deficit to tie the game in the final minute. It took a driving, curling, twisting clutch play by Miami rookie phenom Dwayne Wade to win the game with one second left on the clock. Unbelievably frustrating to watch them squander the lead with such inept play, then tremendously exciting to see them pull it out in such dramatic fashion.
All this from the comfort of my own bed. Armed only with the TiVo remote. And some Dayquil, and a few mugs of Cold Care tea, and a bag of Halls Mentho-Lyptus cough drops, and an endless stream of Kleenex with Aloe...
Friday, April 09, 2004
NOT SO GOOD FRIDAY
The Stones? Cancelled.
The party at our house tonight? Cancelled.
My subscription to the Restoration Hardware catalog? Cancelled.
With little fanfare, "The Stones" was taken off the air by CBS on Tuesday. The episode I wrote for the show, my first to be produced, was scheduled to air on April 21. Suffice it to say, it will not be airing on April 21, and is unlikely to ever see the Judith Light of day. I can't say I'm shocked. The show never got off the ground creatively, failing to match the quality of the pilot (which was "pretty good" to begin with), and the ratings reflected that. I would have liked to have seen a credit read "Written By Barry Langer" on the TeeVee, but I'll have my day. Just wrapped the season on "Will & Grace" and now I'm going to make a run at finally getting staffed on a sitcom for next season. Anybody want to hire a funny guy with two great specs and over a 100 episodes of writers room and production experience?
The Stones? Cancelled.
The party at our house tonight? Cancelled.
My subscription to the Restoration Hardware catalog? Cancelled.
With little fanfare, "The Stones" was taken off the air by CBS on Tuesday. The episode I wrote for the show, my first to be produced, was scheduled to air on April 21. Suffice it to say, it will not be airing on April 21, and is unlikely to ever see the Judith Light of day. I can't say I'm shocked. The show never got off the ground creatively, failing to match the quality of the pilot (which was "pretty good" to begin with), and the ratings reflected that. I would have liked to have seen a credit read "Written By Barry Langer" on the TeeVee, but I'll have my day. Just wrapped the season on "Will & Grace" and now I'm going to make a run at finally getting staffed on a sitcom for next season. Anybody want to hire a funny guy with two great specs and over a 100 episodes of writers room and production experience?
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
THE END OF MARCH, BUT NOT THE MADNESS
I've been really slack on blogging the NCAA Tourney this year. Let's fact it, I've been really slack on blogging anything. I'm not much of a blogger anymore. My workday is full and efficient and I share a community comuter with the rest of the office, so I'm not very connected to my online life. However, we begin filming the season finale of Will & Grace this evening and my cush gig here will be ending next week. So, that means that if I so desire, I will have the time to blog in the near future. But, in all honesty, I'm not that into it anymore. I know some people have been incredibly loyal readers (or at least they've come by to check to see if I posted anything knew, even though most days I haven't), but most of the time I feel like I'm really just doing it for myself. Does anyone really care what I have to say about the NCAA Tourney? I'm not sure. But I'm also not sure I care. I once thought of this site as an place to exercise my writing. I have to get back to thinking of it that way. I'm going to start now.
On this final day of one of my favorite months, I find myself looking forward to a phenomenal Final Four and looking back on an exciting tournament. Last weekend in particular offered two excellent games and one for the ages. Duke/Xavier was a tight contest throughout and played at a very high level, with Luol Deng coming up with two huge plays down the stretch to secure the victory for Duke and send them to antoher Final Four. Georgia Tech/Kansas was a much scrappier game, but equally as competitive and gripping. Surprisingly, Kansas failed to utilize their star Wayne Simian when it mattered and Georgia Tech pulled it out to make two ACC teams in the Final Four. UConn blew out Alabama with a flawless performance which suggested that the Huskies could take it all. And then there was St. Joseph's/Oklahoma State. What a game. Cleanly played by a collection of talented players and several legitimate stars. John Lucas stepped up and hit two huge shots after a horrible shooting spell in the first half. Jameer Nelson showed great body control and a deep knowledge of the game in carrying his undersized team as far as they could go. Both teams played unyielding defense and left it all on the court, showing so much combined heart that the end of game had a heavy sadness that one team had to lose. And what a shame that Jameer's college career had to end that way, with his fallback jumper to tie it falling short at the buzzer. Heartbreaking. I expect Oklahoma State to beat Georgia Tech soundly and advance to the Final Game against the winner of the Duke/UConn game. I'd give a slight edge to UConn in matchups, but something tells me it's going to be Duke and OK State in the final. We'll see how it plays out.
I've been really slack on blogging the NCAA Tourney this year. Let's fact it, I've been really slack on blogging anything. I'm not much of a blogger anymore. My workday is full and efficient and I share a community comuter with the rest of the office, so I'm not very connected to my online life. However, we begin filming the season finale of Will & Grace this evening and my cush gig here will be ending next week. So, that means that if I so desire, I will have the time to blog in the near future. But, in all honesty, I'm not that into it anymore. I know some people have been incredibly loyal readers (or at least they've come by to check to see if I posted anything knew, even though most days I haven't), but most of the time I feel like I'm really just doing it for myself. Does anyone really care what I have to say about the NCAA Tourney? I'm not sure. But I'm also not sure I care. I once thought of this site as an place to exercise my writing. I have to get back to thinking of it that way. I'm going to start now.
On this final day of one of my favorite months, I find myself looking forward to a phenomenal Final Four and looking back on an exciting tournament. Last weekend in particular offered two excellent games and one for the ages. Duke/Xavier was a tight contest throughout and played at a very high level, with Luol Deng coming up with two huge plays down the stretch to secure the victory for Duke and send them to antoher Final Four. Georgia Tech/Kansas was a much scrappier game, but equally as competitive and gripping. Surprisingly, Kansas failed to utilize their star Wayne Simian when it mattered and Georgia Tech pulled it out to make two ACC teams in the Final Four. UConn blew out Alabama with a flawless performance which suggested that the Huskies could take it all. And then there was St. Joseph's/Oklahoma State. What a game. Cleanly played by a collection of talented players and several legitimate stars. John Lucas stepped up and hit two huge shots after a horrible shooting spell in the first half. Jameer Nelson showed great body control and a deep knowledge of the game in carrying his undersized team as far as they could go. Both teams played unyielding defense and left it all on the court, showing so much combined heart that the end of game had a heavy sadness that one team had to lose. And what a shame that Jameer's college career had to end that way, with his fallback jumper to tie it falling short at the buzzer. Heartbreaking. I expect Oklahoma State to beat Georgia Tech soundly and advance to the Final Game against the winner of the Duke/UConn game. I'd give a slight edge to UConn in matchups, but something tells me it's going to be Duke and OK State in the final. We'll see how it plays out.
Friday, March 19, 2004
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE MAD
The tourney is underway. All in all, while there were a few upsets, there were not a lot of surprises on the first day of madness.
Everybody picked Manhattan to upset my alma mater Florida. After reaching number one earlier in the season, only to lose twice that same week, the Gators never really recovered. Later in the season, solid swingman/point forward Christian Drejer defected to play pro ball in Spain, and left Florida a bit thin. Anthony Roberson and Matt Walsh can light it up, but neither of them are the type of players who can carry a team, and they lacked the talent inside. David Lee is an okay inside player who won't dominate anyone, and the other guys are average big men. Overall, they didn't have a leader and didn't play with a lot of confidence, getting blown out three times this season by conference rival Kentucky. Very disappointing. I like Billy Donovan, but Gator fans are calling into question his ability to get the best out of his talent after Florida was upset today in the first round for the second time in four years. The other two years, the Gators lost in the second round, and have failed to advance to the second week of NCAA play since they went to the final game against Michigan State in 2000.
Nevada upset Michigan State, but I have to admit I picked that game and I bet a lot of other people did too. The Spartans played too tough an out-of-conference schedule early in the season and struggled just to get back to respectability from then on. They looked like they had control of the game, but Nevada made a run and took it over late and appeared to be the better team. Tom Izzo will not be happy with his underachieving team after being thrilled by his overachieving tourney run last year.
Speaking of underachieving, the Arizona Wildcats had a season to forget. Once an early season favorite, the Cats played themselves down to a number nine seed, then couldn't knock off number eight seed Seton Hall in Round One. The Pirates, coached by former Knick Louis Orr, outplayed Lute Olsen's team down the stretch with fundamentally sound basketball and more heart. And to think, I actually got excited when Florida beat the Wildcats in a great game at the beginning of the season. That win certainly doesn't mean much now.
My second favorite team, the DePaul Blue Demons played the tightest game of the day, finally defeating longtime rival, the Dayton Flyers in double overtime. Exciting game. Great to see the Blue Demons back in the tourney and into the second round. Now their coach gets a shot at his mentor Jim Calhoun and the Connecticut Huskies. And with the Gators out, at least I still have a team close to my heart to root for.
I'm pulling for St. Joseph's and Gonzaga to go far into the tournament and prove that smaller school, "mid-majors", can play the favorites and hold their own against the big bullies of the major conferences. I'm also looking forward to the weekend when I can actually sit down and watch games all day. Today, all I got to see was the end of Nevada's upset over Michigan State and Arizona's weak finish in losing to Seton Hall and the conclusion of DePaul's slugfest win over Dayton. But still, it's tourney time. My basketball blood is pumping and I'm finding hard to think about anything else.
I tend to rely on ESPN.com, Dickie V, and Andy Katz during the tournament, because they love college basketball more than any other news source, and because I started watching college b-ball on the cable station when ESPN was born and I was eight years old. That's how a Jewish kid from South Florida came to adopt a Roman Catholic school in Chicago as his early favorite team.
We are... DePaul! Go Blue Demons!
The tourney is underway. All in all, while there were a few upsets, there were not a lot of surprises on the first day of madness.
Everybody picked Manhattan to upset my alma mater Florida. After reaching number one earlier in the season, only to lose twice that same week, the Gators never really recovered. Later in the season, solid swingman/point forward Christian Drejer defected to play pro ball in Spain, and left Florida a bit thin. Anthony Roberson and Matt Walsh can light it up, but neither of them are the type of players who can carry a team, and they lacked the talent inside. David Lee is an okay inside player who won't dominate anyone, and the other guys are average big men. Overall, they didn't have a leader and didn't play with a lot of confidence, getting blown out three times this season by conference rival Kentucky. Very disappointing. I like Billy Donovan, but Gator fans are calling into question his ability to get the best out of his talent after Florida was upset today in the first round for the second time in four years. The other two years, the Gators lost in the second round, and have failed to advance to the second week of NCAA play since they went to the final game against Michigan State in 2000.
Nevada upset Michigan State, but I have to admit I picked that game and I bet a lot of other people did too. The Spartans played too tough an out-of-conference schedule early in the season and struggled just to get back to respectability from then on. They looked like they had control of the game, but Nevada made a run and took it over late and appeared to be the better team. Tom Izzo will not be happy with his underachieving team after being thrilled by his overachieving tourney run last year.
Speaking of underachieving, the Arizona Wildcats had a season to forget. Once an early season favorite, the Cats played themselves down to a number nine seed, then couldn't knock off number eight seed Seton Hall in Round One. The Pirates, coached by former Knick Louis Orr, outplayed Lute Olsen's team down the stretch with fundamentally sound basketball and more heart. And to think, I actually got excited when Florida beat the Wildcats in a great game at the beginning of the season. That win certainly doesn't mean much now.
My second favorite team, the DePaul Blue Demons played the tightest game of the day, finally defeating longtime rival, the Dayton Flyers in double overtime. Exciting game. Great to see the Blue Demons back in the tourney and into the second round. Now their coach gets a shot at his mentor Jim Calhoun and the Connecticut Huskies. And with the Gators out, at least I still have a team close to my heart to root for.
I'm pulling for St. Joseph's and Gonzaga to go far into the tournament and prove that smaller school, "mid-majors", can play the favorites and hold their own against the big bullies of the major conferences. I'm also looking forward to the weekend when I can actually sit down and watch games all day. Today, all I got to see was the end of Nevada's upset over Michigan State and Arizona's weak finish in losing to Seton Hall and the conclusion of DePaul's slugfest win over Dayton. But still, it's tourney time. My basketball blood is pumping and I'm finding hard to think about anything else.
I tend to rely on ESPN.com, Dickie V, and Andy Katz during the tournament, because they love college basketball more than any other news source, and because I started watching college b-ball on the cable station when ESPN was born and I was eight years old. That's how a Jewish kid from South Florida came to adopt a Roman Catholic school in Chicago as his early favorite team.
We are... DePaul! Go Blue Demons!
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
THE MADNESS
Any self-respecting loyal reader of Piker knows that I quickly become obsessed with the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. It is, without question, my favorite sporting event. Unfortunately, all thoughts of a Will & Grace office pool have evaporated, and the games begin tomorrow morning at 9 am PST. Thus, I'm going to post my picks here to serve as an official record of my predicted bracket.
I'm going to assume that any college B-ball fan has already gone elsewhere to print out a blank bracket, so I'm not going to bother linking to one. I wish I had the time and the know-how to post my completed bracket to this site, but alas, I do not. So, I am simply going to list my picks below. Oh, and by the way, I'm refusing to give up the old names of the regions, so you'll see both in the headers.
WINNERS -- ROUND 1
MIDWEST (St. Louis)
(1) Kentucky
(8) Washington
(12) Pacific
(4) Kansas
(6) Boston College
(3) Georgia Tech
(10) Nevada
(2) Gonzaga
EAST (East Rutherford)
(1) St. Joseph's
(9) Charlotte
(5) Florida
(4) Wake Forest
(6) Wisconsin
(3) Pittsburgh
(10) South Carolina
(2) Oklahoma State
SOUTH (Atlanta)
(1) Duke
(9) Arizona
(5) Illinois
(13) ETSU
(6) North Carolina
(3) Texas
(7) Xavier
(2) Mississippi State
WEST (Phoenix)
(1) Stanford
(8) Alabama
(5) Syracuse
(4) Maryland
(11) Western Michigan
(14) LA Lafayette
(7) DePaul
(2) UConn
THE SWEET SIXTEEN
MIDWEST
(1) Kentucky
(4) Kansas
(3) Georgia Tech
(2) Gonzaga
EAST
(1) St. Joe's
(4) Wake Forest
(3) Pitt
(2) OK State
SOUTH
(1) Duke
(13) ETSU
(6) NC
(2) Mississippi St.
WEST
(1) Stanford
(4) Maryland
(11) Western Michigan
(2) UConn
THE ELITE EIGHT
MIDWEST
(1) Kentucky
(3) Georgia Tech
EAST
(1) St. Joe's
(2) OK State
SOUTH
(1) Duke
(2) Mississippi St.
WEST
(1) Stanford
(2) UConn
THE FINAL FOUR
(1) Kentucky -- MIDWEST
(2) OK State -- EAST
(2) Mississippi State - SOUTH
(1) Stanford -- WEST
THE FINAL GAME
(1) Kentucky
(1) Stanford
THE NATIONAL CHAMPION
(1) Stanford
Let the games begin.
Any self-respecting loyal reader of Piker knows that I quickly become obsessed with the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. It is, without question, my favorite sporting event. Unfortunately, all thoughts of a Will & Grace office pool have evaporated, and the games begin tomorrow morning at 9 am PST. Thus, I'm going to post my picks here to serve as an official record of my predicted bracket.
I'm going to assume that any college B-ball fan has already gone elsewhere to print out a blank bracket, so I'm not going to bother linking to one. I wish I had the time and the know-how to post my completed bracket to this site, but alas, I do not. So, I am simply going to list my picks below. Oh, and by the way, I'm refusing to give up the old names of the regions, so you'll see both in the headers.
WINNERS -- ROUND 1
MIDWEST (St. Louis)
(1) Kentucky
(8) Washington
(12) Pacific
(4) Kansas
(6) Boston College
(3) Georgia Tech
(10) Nevada
(2) Gonzaga
EAST (East Rutherford)
(1) St. Joseph's
(9) Charlotte
(5) Florida
(4) Wake Forest
(6) Wisconsin
(3) Pittsburgh
(10) South Carolina
(2) Oklahoma State
SOUTH (Atlanta)
(1) Duke
(9) Arizona
(5) Illinois
(13) ETSU
(6) North Carolina
(3) Texas
(7) Xavier
(2) Mississippi State
WEST (Phoenix)
(1) Stanford
(8) Alabama
(5) Syracuse
(4) Maryland
(11) Western Michigan
(14) LA Lafayette
(7) DePaul
(2) UConn
THE SWEET SIXTEEN
MIDWEST
(1) Kentucky
(4) Kansas
(3) Georgia Tech
(2) Gonzaga
EAST
(1) St. Joe's
(4) Wake Forest
(3) Pitt
(2) OK State
SOUTH
(1) Duke
(13) ETSU
(6) NC
(2) Mississippi St.
WEST
(1) Stanford
(4) Maryland
(11) Western Michigan
(2) UConn
THE ELITE EIGHT
MIDWEST
(1) Kentucky
(3) Georgia Tech
EAST
(1) St. Joe's
(2) OK State
SOUTH
(1) Duke
(2) Mississippi St.
WEST
(1) Stanford
(2) UConn
THE FINAL FOUR
(1) Kentucky -- MIDWEST
(2) OK State -- EAST
(2) Mississippi State - SOUTH
(1) Stanford -- WEST
THE FINAL GAME
(1) Kentucky
(1) Stanford
THE NATIONAL CHAMPION
(1) Stanford
Let the games begin.
Friday, March 05, 2004
Hello Pikers,
I've been profiled! If you are interested... You can hear a summary of my career and work life in four
short minutes. All you have to do is follow the link
below and scroll down to near the bottom of the page. There you will find the headline: A Day in the Life:Writer's Assistant, "Will and Grace." Simply click and listen.
Note: Depending on your computer setup, it'll either
start downloading or begin playing right away.
Hope you like.
Piker
I've been profiled! If you are interested... You can hear a summary of my career and work life in four
short minutes. All you have to do is follow the link
below and scroll down to near the bottom of the page. There you will find the headline: A Day in the Life:Writer's Assistant, "Will and Grace." Simply click and listen.
Note: Depending on your computer setup, it'll either
start downloading or begin playing right away.
Hope you like.
Piker
Sunday, February 29, 2004
PIKER PARTICIPATES IN PRODUCERS GAME
The Producers Game is the movie equivalent of Fantasy Baseball. The player speculates on the box office hits and the Academy Award nominations for the upcoming year. This is the second year in a row I've played the game. Last year's game, which ends tonight, was a great exercise and a real learning experience. The aptly titled game forces you to put yourself in the shoes of the executives and creatives who play the game for a living. Last February, I correctly predicted that The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and Master And Commander: The Far Side of the World would both be nominated for Best Picture. Conversely, I also predicted Mona Lisa Smile, Cold Mountain, and J.M. Barrie's Neverland would also be nominated. My best pick, which was honored as the Clutch Pick of the Year and one of the clutchest of all time, was Keisha Castle-Hughes for Best Actress. I don't know how, I don't know why, but somehow in my research I had a hunch that it would happen. But, a lot of people picked LOTR: TROTK to win Best Picture, so even if it does, I'm going to lose the game. Doesn't matter. I love the game and yesterday (five days after it was due) I sat down to do my picks for the 2004 season. Again, I loved the process of familiarizing myself with the Sneaks (a list of every movie set to be released), release schedules, prestige, budgets, etc. in order to be properly informed when making my selections. And without further adieu, my selections (and a little treat at the end):
1. TOP TEN HITS OF THE YEAR (2 points each)
For movies released between: 2/23/04 - 1/2/05
1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
2. Spider-Man 2
3. Shrek 2
4. I, Robot
5. Catwoman
6. The Incredibles
7. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
8. Troy
9. Van Helsing
10. Anchorman
Alternate: The Day After Tomorrow
2. THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE OF THE SUMMER (3 points)
My pick: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Reason: The surest of the sure things.
Alternate: Spider-Man 2
3. THE NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS MOVIE (3 points) For movies released between: The first week of November and New Years Weekend.
My pick: The Incredibles
Reason: Positioning. An early November release date gives it a chance to pick up steam before Thanksgiving and run all the way through the holidays.
Alternate: Meet the Fockers
4. TEN ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED FILMS (maximum 2 points each) All nominated categories are acceptable.
1. The Aviator
2. Alexander
3. Closer
4. J.M. Barrie's Neverland
5. Spanglish
6. An Unfinished Life
7. The Terminal
8. The Incredibles
9. Shark Tale
10. Vanity Fair
Alternate: The Brothers Grimm
5. BEST ACTOR/SUPPORTING ACTOR NOMINATIONS (Name the actor and the film. Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Tom Hanks - The Terminal
2. Leonardo DiCaprio - The Aviator
3. Jude Law - Closer
4. Dustin Hoffman - J.M. Barrie's Neverland
5. Liam Neeson - Kinsey
Alternate: Daniel Day-Lewis - Rose and the Snake
6. BEST ACTRESS/SUPPORTING ACTRESS NOMINATIONS (Name the actress and the film. Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Reese Witherspoon - Vanity Fair
2. Kate Winslet - J.M. Barrie's Neverland
3. Gwyneth Paltrow - Proof
4. Lauren Bacall - Birth
5. Meryl Streep - The Manchurian Candidate
Alternate: Anne Reid - The Mother
7. BEST DIRECTOR NOMINATIONS (Name the director and the film. Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Martin Scorsese - The Aviator
2. Oliver Stone - Alexander
3. Mike Nichols - Closer
4. James L. Brooks - Spanglish
5. Terry Gilliam - The Brothers Grimm
Alternate: Lasse Hallstrom - An Unfinished Life
8. WORST PICTURE NOMINATED FILMS As determined by the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation. (Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
2. The Chronicles of Riddick
3. Son of the Mask
4. Alien vs. Predator
5. Catwoman
Alternate: New York Minute
9. BEST PICTURE NOMINATED FILMS (each worth 5 points)
1. The Aviator
2. Alexander
3. Closer
4. J.M. Barrie's Neverland
5. Spanglish
Alternate: An Unfinished Life
10. BEST PICTURE (worth 30 points)
And the winner is: The Aviator
Reason: It's going to come down to Scorsese vs. Stone. Stone has won before, Scorsese hasn't. Scorsese takes home his first Best Picture.
Alternate: Alexander
2004 Films I'm Most Excited About (Aside from some of those mentioned above.)
1. The Life Aquatic - Wes Anderson directs Bill Murray as a Jacques Cousteau-like oceanographer on the trail of a mythical beast.
2. I Heart Huckabee's - Team of detectives helps clients with their existential issues. David O. Russell (Flirting With Disaster, Three Kings,) directs Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law, Naomi Watts Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Mark Wahlberg, and Isabelle Huppert.
3. Kill Bill: Volume 2 - Revenge-minded Uma Thurman continues her quest but must still dispatch Michael Madsen and Daryl Hannah before she gets to Bill (David Carradine). Quentin Tarrantino directs.
4. The Ringer - Johnny Knoxville (Jackass) stars in this this Farrelly Brothers-produced enterprise about a man desperate enough to try to fix the Special Olympics.
5. Soul Plane - You are now free to dance about the cabin, on a new black-owned airline packed with funky amenities. Kevin Hart, Method Man, Tom Arnold, and Snoop Dogg star.
6. Garfield - The comic strip cat sounds a lot like Bill Murray as the lazy feline makes his computer-generated film debut.
7. Untitled Dodgeball Comedy - Habitues of a neighborhood gym suit up for a Dodgeball match to save their haven from a giant fitness center. Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller star.
8. Wimbledon - Journeyman tennis pro Paul Bettany hits a hot streak, profesionally and romantically, winning matches and wooing U.S. Star Kirsten Dunst, at the presitgious All-England championship.
9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Writer Charlie Kaufman and Director Michael Gondry cook up a memory-erasing procedure that leads to desperate mind games for estranged couple Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet.
10. The Bourne Supremecy - Matt Damon is back as the assassin in the sequel to The Bourne Identity.
The Producers Game is the movie equivalent of Fantasy Baseball. The player speculates on the box office hits and the Academy Award nominations for the upcoming year. This is the second year in a row I've played the game. Last year's game, which ends tonight, was a great exercise and a real learning experience. The aptly titled game forces you to put yourself in the shoes of the executives and creatives who play the game for a living. Last February, I correctly predicted that The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and Master And Commander: The Far Side of the World would both be nominated for Best Picture. Conversely, I also predicted Mona Lisa Smile, Cold Mountain, and J.M. Barrie's Neverland would also be nominated. My best pick, which was honored as the Clutch Pick of the Year and one of the clutchest of all time, was Keisha Castle-Hughes for Best Actress. I don't know how, I don't know why, but somehow in my research I had a hunch that it would happen. But, a lot of people picked LOTR: TROTK to win Best Picture, so even if it does, I'm going to lose the game. Doesn't matter. I love the game and yesterday (five days after it was due) I sat down to do my picks for the 2004 season. Again, I loved the process of familiarizing myself with the Sneaks (a list of every movie set to be released), release schedules, prestige, budgets, etc. in order to be properly informed when making my selections. And without further adieu, my selections (and a little treat at the end):
1. TOP TEN HITS OF THE YEAR (2 points each)
For movies released between: 2/23/04 - 1/2/05
1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
2. Spider-Man 2
3. Shrek 2
4. I, Robot
5. Catwoman
6. The Incredibles
7. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
8. Troy
9. Van Helsing
10. Anchorman
Alternate: The Day After Tomorrow
2. THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE OF THE SUMMER (3 points)
My pick: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Reason: The surest of the sure things.
Alternate: Spider-Man 2
3. THE NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS MOVIE (3 points) For movies released between: The first week of November and New Years Weekend.
My pick: The Incredibles
Reason: Positioning. An early November release date gives it a chance to pick up steam before Thanksgiving and run all the way through the holidays.
Alternate: Meet the Fockers
4. TEN ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED FILMS (maximum 2 points each) All nominated categories are acceptable.
1. The Aviator
2. Alexander
3. Closer
4. J.M. Barrie's Neverland
5. Spanglish
6. An Unfinished Life
7. The Terminal
8. The Incredibles
9. Shark Tale
10. Vanity Fair
Alternate: The Brothers Grimm
5. BEST ACTOR/SUPPORTING ACTOR NOMINATIONS (Name the actor and the film. Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Tom Hanks - The Terminal
2. Leonardo DiCaprio - The Aviator
3. Jude Law - Closer
4. Dustin Hoffman - J.M. Barrie's Neverland
5. Liam Neeson - Kinsey
Alternate: Daniel Day-Lewis - Rose and the Snake
6. BEST ACTRESS/SUPPORTING ACTRESS NOMINATIONS (Name the actress and the film. Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Reese Witherspoon - Vanity Fair
2. Kate Winslet - J.M. Barrie's Neverland
3. Gwyneth Paltrow - Proof
4. Lauren Bacall - Birth
5. Meryl Streep - The Manchurian Candidate
Alternate: Anne Reid - The Mother
7. BEST DIRECTOR NOMINATIONS (Name the director and the film. Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Martin Scorsese - The Aviator
2. Oliver Stone - Alexander
3. Mike Nichols - Closer
4. James L. Brooks - Spanglish
5. Terry Gilliam - The Brothers Grimm
Alternate: Lasse Hallstrom - An Unfinished Life
8. WORST PICTURE NOMINATED FILMS As determined by the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation. (Each worth 3 points + bonus point if your pick actually wins)
1. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
2. The Chronicles of Riddick
3. Son of the Mask
4. Alien vs. Predator
5. Catwoman
Alternate: New York Minute
9. BEST PICTURE NOMINATED FILMS (each worth 5 points)
1. The Aviator
2. Alexander
3. Closer
4. J.M. Barrie's Neverland
5. Spanglish
Alternate: An Unfinished Life
10. BEST PICTURE (worth 30 points)
And the winner is: The Aviator
Reason: It's going to come down to Scorsese vs. Stone. Stone has won before, Scorsese hasn't. Scorsese takes home his first Best Picture.
Alternate: Alexander
2004 Films I'm Most Excited About (Aside from some of those mentioned above.)
1. The Life Aquatic - Wes Anderson directs Bill Murray as a Jacques Cousteau-like oceanographer on the trail of a mythical beast.
2. I Heart Huckabee's - Team of detectives helps clients with their existential issues. David O. Russell (Flirting With Disaster, Three Kings,) directs Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law, Naomi Watts Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Mark Wahlberg, and Isabelle Huppert.
3. Kill Bill: Volume 2 - Revenge-minded Uma Thurman continues her quest but must still dispatch Michael Madsen and Daryl Hannah before she gets to Bill (David Carradine). Quentin Tarrantino directs.
4. The Ringer - Johnny Knoxville (Jackass) stars in this this Farrelly Brothers-produced enterprise about a man desperate enough to try to fix the Special Olympics.
5. Soul Plane - You are now free to dance about the cabin, on a new black-owned airline packed with funky amenities. Kevin Hart, Method Man, Tom Arnold, and Snoop Dogg star.
6. Garfield - The comic strip cat sounds a lot like Bill Murray as the lazy feline makes his computer-generated film debut.
7. Untitled Dodgeball Comedy - Habitues of a neighborhood gym suit up for a Dodgeball match to save their haven from a giant fitness center. Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller star.
8. Wimbledon - Journeyman tennis pro Paul Bettany hits a hot streak, profesionally and romantically, winning matches and wooing U.S. Star Kirsten Dunst, at the presitgious All-England championship.
9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Writer Charlie Kaufman and Director Michael Gondry cook up a memory-erasing procedure that leads to desperate mind games for estranged couple Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet.
10. The Bourne Supremecy - Matt Damon is back as the assassin in the sequel to The Bourne Identity.
PIKER PICKS: THE OSCARS
I'm a creature of habit. And I've become accustomed to the Academy Awards contributing to March Madness year after year, working in tandem with the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament to make March my favorite month that doesn't contain my birthday. But, here we are on Leap Day, hanging out with the security guard assigned to us to make sure we don't lose or damage all that expensive jewelry we've been loaned for this evening's Big Event. I love the Oscars. It's not so much the ceremony that gives me so much pleasure as the handicapping. Tonight marks the culmination of an Oscar tracking process that began last year at this time when I entered a little handicapping venture called The Producers Game. (More on The Producers Game later.)
Before I make my predictions, I must credit David Poland, who practically makes his living charting the ups and downs of Oscar season, with any inside knowledge I might have in the matter. And away we go...
BEST ACTOR - LEADING
Sean Penn - Mystic River
Although I'm secretly rooting for Bill Murray.
BEST ACTRESS - LEADING
Charlize Theron - Monster
BEST ACTOR - SUPPORTING
Tim Robbins - Mystic River
BEST ACTRESS - SUPPORTING
Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
But really I'll be happy with anyone but Zellweger.
BEST DIRECTOR
Peter Jackson - The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
BEST SCREENPLAY - ADAPTED
Mystic River
BEST SCREENPLAY - ORIGINAL
Lost in Translation
And finally...
BEST PICTURE
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Enjoy the festivities, but you know, don't take it too seriously. I mean, really, it's still about losing yourself to another world in a darkened theater to get some distance from reality and gain some perspective on the human condition.
Ciao.
I'm a creature of habit. And I've become accustomed to the Academy Awards contributing to March Madness year after year, working in tandem with the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament to make March my favorite month that doesn't contain my birthday. But, here we are on Leap Day, hanging out with the security guard assigned to us to make sure we don't lose or damage all that expensive jewelry we've been loaned for this evening's Big Event. I love the Oscars. It's not so much the ceremony that gives me so much pleasure as the handicapping. Tonight marks the culmination of an Oscar tracking process that began last year at this time when I entered a little handicapping venture called The Producers Game. (More on The Producers Game later.)
Before I make my predictions, I must credit David Poland, who practically makes his living charting the ups and downs of Oscar season, with any inside knowledge I might have in the matter. And away we go...
BEST ACTOR - LEADING
Sean Penn - Mystic River
Although I'm secretly rooting for Bill Murray.
BEST ACTRESS - LEADING
Charlize Theron - Monster
BEST ACTOR - SUPPORTING
Tim Robbins - Mystic River
BEST ACTRESS - SUPPORTING
Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
But really I'll be happy with anyone but Zellweger.
BEST DIRECTOR
Peter Jackson - The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
BEST SCREENPLAY - ADAPTED
Mystic River
BEST SCREENPLAY - ORIGINAL
Lost in Translation
And finally...
BEST PICTURE
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Enjoy the festivities, but you know, don't take it too seriously. I mean, really, it's still about losing yourself to another world in a darkened theater to get some distance from reality and gain some perspective on the human condition.
Ciao.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
OSCAR IS NOT SO GROUCHY
You know, after reading over the list of nominations a bunch of times, I really don't have that many complaints. As always, you don't get everything you want. So, naturally, I'm disappointed in a few things. "In America" should have gotten that fifth Best Picture slot over "Seabiscuit" and Jim Sheridan could have been nominated for Best Director. And I wanted to see Scarlett Johansson nominated for "Lost in Translation." But, besides that, I think the Academy did an admirable job. Loved the mulitiple nominations for "Lost in Translation" and "City of God." Ecstatic about Bill Murray. Happy for "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King", which capped off what will be rememberd as the best trilogy ever when all is said and done. And, on that note, I'm done. Gotta go to the show with the Will and Grace and the Jack and Karen.
You know, after reading over the list of nominations a bunch of times, I really don't have that many complaints. As always, you don't get everything you want. So, naturally, I'm disappointed in a few things. "In America" should have gotten that fifth Best Picture slot over "Seabiscuit" and Jim Sheridan could have been nominated for Best Director. And I wanted to see Scarlett Johansson nominated for "Lost in Translation." But, besides that, I think the Academy did an admirable job. Loved the mulitiple nominations for "Lost in Translation" and "City of God." Ecstatic about Bill Murray. Happy for "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King", which capped off what will be rememberd as the best trilogy ever when all is said and done. And, on that note, I'm done. Gotta go to the show with the Will and Grace and the Jack and Karen.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
LONG TIME, NO POST
Yeah, I know, I'm a piker. I've been neglecting this site in a major way for some time now. Just cut me some slack, man. My life has changed, my routine is completely different... I've changed. So, if you pikers are still checking here for new stuff, that means that you've missed me, or at least you've missed my writing. That's a good sign. To be honest, I've missed my writing.
As usual, I don't have much time to post anything in depth. But, I do want to list a few things I've been enjoying recently:
-- Attended the Second Annual Grilled Cheese International at Theory Labs this weekend. What a fantastic event. I mean, it's a competition to see who can make the best grilled cheese. There were two categories: Missionary and Kama Sutra. Missionary meant you just make a standard grilled cheese and Kama Sutra meant you can get as funky as you want as long as the thing was still at least sixty percent cheese. Lots of cheese. Lots of fun.
-- Watched the Men's Snowboarding Super Pipe Finals of The X Games last night. My favorite boarder Danny Kass finished second even though he did not perform his patented Kass-a-Roll maneuver. This has got to be the coolest sport on the planet. The aerials these guys pull off are incredible to watch, the participants are as colorful as can be, and the whole vibe is just flat out stoked.
-- Obviously, if you've been reading Piker at all in the last few months, you know I've been following the NFL season extremely closely. So, naturally, I'm psyched for Super Bowl XXXVIII this coming Sunday. Most likely, I'll be attending Nitrous Bowl IV, the Super Bowl party where I met My Girl two years ago. But, there's a groundswell for a sea change this year, and Nitrous Bowl could very well morph into something a little different, say Shroom Bowl I...
-- Eagle Rock and Pasadena, Los Angeles. My Girl and I have been living together in Eagle Rock for the past three months. I have fallen hard for our little small town within a big city and I'm loving living there. I have also come to dig on Pasadena, where My Girl and I seem to gravitate to every weekend. Whether it be for the great restaurants like Yujean Kang's or the great shopping at Paseo Colorado or movies at the Academy 6, we're feeling blessed to live one exit down from this amazing city within a city.
-- The Academy Award Nominations and the Golden Globe Awards. As a ceremony, the Golden Globes was rather ho-hum, although My Girl and I had a great time watching it, but for the most part I got the feeling the awards went to the right people. "24" was kind of a shocking win. "Six Feet Under" should have won. And Anthony LaPaglia winning for Best Actor was questionable. Actually, Kiefer Sutherland should have won that one. I'm going to do a full rundown of the Academy Award noms either later tonight or tomorrow.
I'm writing again. Check back for frequent updates, pikers.
Yeah, I know, I'm a piker. I've been neglecting this site in a major way for some time now. Just cut me some slack, man. My life has changed, my routine is completely different... I've changed. So, if you pikers are still checking here for new stuff, that means that you've missed me, or at least you've missed my writing. That's a good sign. To be honest, I've missed my writing.
As usual, I don't have much time to post anything in depth. But, I do want to list a few things I've been enjoying recently:
-- Attended the Second Annual Grilled Cheese International at Theory Labs this weekend. What a fantastic event. I mean, it's a competition to see who can make the best grilled cheese. There were two categories: Missionary and Kama Sutra. Missionary meant you just make a standard grilled cheese and Kama Sutra meant you can get as funky as you want as long as the thing was still at least sixty percent cheese. Lots of cheese. Lots of fun.
-- Watched the Men's Snowboarding Super Pipe Finals of The X Games last night. My favorite boarder Danny Kass finished second even though he did not perform his patented Kass-a-Roll maneuver. This has got to be the coolest sport on the planet. The aerials these guys pull off are incredible to watch, the participants are as colorful as can be, and the whole vibe is just flat out stoked.
-- Obviously, if you've been reading Piker at all in the last few months, you know I've been following the NFL season extremely closely. So, naturally, I'm psyched for Super Bowl XXXVIII this coming Sunday. Most likely, I'll be attending Nitrous Bowl IV, the Super Bowl party where I met My Girl two years ago. But, there's a groundswell for a sea change this year, and Nitrous Bowl could very well morph into something a little different, say Shroom Bowl I...
-- Eagle Rock and Pasadena, Los Angeles. My Girl and I have been living together in Eagle Rock for the past three months. I have fallen hard for our little small town within a big city and I'm loving living there. I have also come to dig on Pasadena, where My Girl and I seem to gravitate to every weekend. Whether it be for the great restaurants like Yujean Kang's or the great shopping at Paseo Colorado or movies at the Academy 6, we're feeling blessed to live one exit down from this amazing city within a city.
-- The Academy Award Nominations and the Golden Globe Awards. As a ceremony, the Golden Globes was rather ho-hum, although My Girl and I had a great time watching it, but for the most part I got the feeling the awards went to the right people. "24" was kind of a shocking win. "Six Feet Under" should have won. And Anthony LaPaglia winning for Best Actor was questionable. Actually, Kiefer Sutherland should have won that one. I'm going to do a full rundown of the Academy Award noms either later tonight or tomorrow.
I'm writing again. Check back for frequent updates, pikers.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
PIKER PLAYOFF PICKS
Here we are at halftime of the Carolina-St. Louis game with the Panthers leading 10-9. Obviously, Piker missed the deadline to pick this game, but for what it's worth, Carolina getting 7 points would have been the pick. But, that point is moot.
Last week, Piker went 3-1 in his playoffs picks. However, the one loss was a bad one. Piker picked Denver +3 against Indy, but would have lost that game even if it was Denver +30. What an embarrassing loss for Denver. After dominating the Colts in Indianapolis two weeks earlier, the Broncos just couldn't do a single thing right. Indy come out playing with a lot of emotion and Denver never got into the game. Peyton got his first playoff win and poor Mike Shanahan still doesn't have a playoff win since John Elway retired after winning two straight Super Bowls.
On to this week's picks before Piker misses any more deadlines. Whenever Piker has picked against New England this season, Piker's been burned, but....
1/10 4:30 PM ET
OFF THE BOARD
Carolina
ST. LOUIS -7
1/10 8:15 PM ET
Tennessee
NEW ENGLAND -6
1/11 1:00 PM ET
Indianapolis
KANSAS CITY -3
1/11 4:45 PM ET
Green Bay
PHILADELPHIA -5.5
Here we are at halftime of the Carolina-St. Louis game with the Panthers leading 10-9. Obviously, Piker missed the deadline to pick this game, but for what it's worth, Carolina getting 7 points would have been the pick. But, that point is moot.
Last week, Piker went 3-1 in his playoffs picks. However, the one loss was a bad one. Piker picked Denver +3 against Indy, but would have lost that game even if it was Denver +30. What an embarrassing loss for Denver. After dominating the Colts in Indianapolis two weeks earlier, the Broncos just couldn't do a single thing right. Indy come out playing with a lot of emotion and Denver never got into the game. Peyton got his first playoff win and poor Mike Shanahan still doesn't have a playoff win since John Elway retired after winning two straight Super Bowls.
On to this week's picks before Piker misses any more deadlines. Whenever Piker has picked against New England this season, Piker's been burned, but....
1/10 4:30 PM ET
OFF THE BOARD
Carolina
ST. LOUIS -7
1/10 8:15 PM ET
Tennessee
NEW ENGLAND -6
1/11 1:00 PM ET
Indianapolis
KANSAS CITY -3
1/11 4:45 PM ET
Green Bay
PHILADELPHIA -5.5
Saturday, January 03, 2004
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 17 RESULTS
So close. Piker pined to end the 2003 NFL season with a record 20 games over .500. Piker fell one game short, going 9-7 in the final week of the regular season to finish with a 125-107-8 record. However, Piker is pleased as punch that this season-long experiment resulted in a winning record. If Piker had placed bets on every regular season game after Week 1, provided it was the same amount of money on each game, Piker would have won money over the course of the season. That impresses Piker, precisely because it's un-Piker-like.
WON: New England, Atlanta, Cleveland, Houston, Kansas City, New Orleans, Tennessee, Green Bay, Arizona
LOST: San Francicso, Washington, St. Louis, Miami, N.Y. Giants, Oakland, Baltimore
Just as Piker did, Piker's Miami Dolphins came up one game short as well. They finished 10-6 on the year and missed the playoffs for the second straight season. They are the first NFL team in 10 years to win 10 games in the regular season and fail to qualify for the post-season. But, it's inexusable. The Dolphins simply failed to play up to their talent level. They lost close games at home that they had chances to win. They turned the ball over at deciding moments in games. They rarely dominated the line of scrimmage. They didn't use Ricky Williams like the superstar that he is. They didn't make big defensive plays at the end of games. And besides an ugly 9-6 win over Baltimore and a thrilling Thanksgiving Day victory over Dallas, they failes to beat playoff teams. Then they decided to retain Dave Wannestadt. That did not make Piker happy. Piker does not believe that Dave Wannestadt can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. And Piker does not believe that Jay Fiedler can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. On those notes, Piker believes that Jay Fiedler will not be the Dolphins starting QB at the beginning of next season and Piker believes that Dave Wannestadt will not make it through the 2004 season as the head coach of the Miami Dolphins. And, unless the Dolphins find their own Jack McKeon miracle in Miami, they will not win the Super Bowl next season.
So close. Piker pined to end the 2003 NFL season with a record 20 games over .500. Piker fell one game short, going 9-7 in the final week of the regular season to finish with a 125-107-8 record. However, Piker is pleased as punch that this season-long experiment resulted in a winning record. If Piker had placed bets on every regular season game after Week 1, provided it was the same amount of money on each game, Piker would have won money over the course of the season. That impresses Piker, precisely because it's un-Piker-like.
WON: New England, Atlanta, Cleveland, Houston, Kansas City, New Orleans, Tennessee, Green Bay, Arizona
LOST: San Francicso, Washington, St. Louis, Miami, N.Y. Giants, Oakland, Baltimore
Just as Piker did, Piker's Miami Dolphins came up one game short as well. They finished 10-6 on the year and missed the playoffs for the second straight season. They are the first NFL team in 10 years to win 10 games in the regular season and fail to qualify for the post-season. But, it's inexusable. The Dolphins simply failed to play up to their talent level. They lost close games at home that they had chances to win. They turned the ball over at deciding moments in games. They rarely dominated the line of scrimmage. They didn't use Ricky Williams like the superstar that he is. They didn't make big defensive plays at the end of games. And besides an ugly 9-6 win over Baltimore and a thrilling Thanksgiving Day victory over Dallas, they failes to beat playoff teams. Then they decided to retain Dave Wannestadt. That did not make Piker happy. Piker does not believe that Dave Wannestadt can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. And Piker does not believe that Jay Fiedler can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. On those notes, Piker believes that Jay Fiedler will not be the Dolphins starting QB at the beginning of next season and Piker believes that Dave Wannestadt will not make it through the 2004 season as the head coach of the Miami Dolphins. And, unless the Dolphins find their own Jack McKeon miracle in Miami, they will not win the Super Bowl next season.
Saturday, December 27, 2003
THE KING OF RINGS
Piker intended to live at the movie theater this holiday season. It hasn't quite worked out that way, but Piker has seen two movies. The first was Bad Santa, which had its funny moments but was ultimately unsatisfying and nothing special. Yesterday, Piker saw The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It too had its funny moments, but was ultimately one of the most satisfying and special movies Piker has even seen. Piker actually shed tears in the third Act. The trilogy as a whole was such a powerful experience. What amazed Piker most was the combination of technical mastery of the visual world of Tolkien's books and the sterling storytelling structure that leads to a highly emotional experience. Peter Jackson obviously deserves much of the credit as director of this massive undertaking. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is so humongus in scope and so technical and complicated that what may get lost in talking about these films is Jackson's work with the actors. He elicits so many great acting performances, both large and small, and accomplishes the elusive cohesion that every director strives for, where every part serves the whole. In fact, every last detail on that screen displays the work of a master filmmaker getting the very best work out of hundreds and hundreds of people who participated in mounting this epic series. Not since the first Star Wars trilogy has such a saga captured the imagination of a movie-going generation.
I first read "The Hobbit" in seventh grade. Tolkien's world was etched in my little Piker brain, but for some reason, I never read The Lord of the Rings trilogy of books. In a way, I'm glad. It allowed me to view the movies with fresh eyes and that child-like sense of wonder of what would happen next. Now that I've seen the entire trilogy up on that big screen, I'm ready to tackle the series of books. In fact, I'm more psyched than ever to read them.
Piker intended to live at the movie theater this holiday season. It hasn't quite worked out that way, but Piker has seen two movies. The first was Bad Santa, which had its funny moments but was ultimately unsatisfying and nothing special. Yesterday, Piker saw The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It too had its funny moments, but was ultimately one of the most satisfying and special movies Piker has even seen. Piker actually shed tears in the third Act. The trilogy as a whole was such a powerful experience. What amazed Piker most was the combination of technical mastery of the visual world of Tolkien's books and the sterling storytelling structure that leads to a highly emotional experience. Peter Jackson obviously deserves much of the credit as director of this massive undertaking. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is so humongus in scope and so technical and complicated that what may get lost in talking about these films is Jackson's work with the actors. He elicits so many great acting performances, both large and small, and accomplishes the elusive cohesion that every director strives for, where every part serves the whole. In fact, every last detail on that screen displays the work of a master filmmaker getting the very best work out of hundreds and hundreds of people who participated in mounting this epic series. Not since the first Star Wars trilogy has such a saga captured the imagination of a movie-going generation.
I first read "The Hobbit" in seventh grade. Tolkien's world was etched in my little Piker brain, but for some reason, I never read The Lord of the Rings trilogy of books. In a way, I'm glad. It allowed me to view the movies with fresh eyes and that child-like sense of wonder of what would happen next. Now that I've seen the entire trilogy up on that big screen, I'm ready to tackle the series of books. In fact, I'm more psyched than ever to read them.