OSCAR IS NOT SO GROUCHY
You know, after reading over the list of nominations a bunch of times, I really don't have that many complaints. As always, you don't get everything you want. So, naturally, I'm disappointed in a few things. "In America" should have gotten that fifth Best Picture slot over "Seabiscuit" and Jim Sheridan could have been nominated for Best Director. And I wanted to see Scarlett Johansson nominated for "Lost in Translation." But, besides that, I think the Academy did an admirable job. Loved the mulitiple nominations for "Lost in Translation" and "City of God." Ecstatic about Bill Murray. Happy for "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King", which capped off what will be rememberd as the best trilogy ever when all is said and done. And, on that note, I'm done. Gotta go to the show with the Will and Grace and the Jack and Karen.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
LONG TIME, NO POST
Yeah, I know, I'm a piker. I've been neglecting this site in a major way for some time now. Just cut me some slack, man. My life has changed, my routine is completely different... I've changed. So, if you pikers are still checking here for new stuff, that means that you've missed me, or at least you've missed my writing. That's a good sign. To be honest, I've missed my writing.
As usual, I don't have much time to post anything in depth. But, I do want to list a few things I've been enjoying recently:
-- Attended the Second Annual Grilled Cheese International at Theory Labs this weekend. What a fantastic event. I mean, it's a competition to see who can make the best grilled cheese. There were two categories: Missionary and Kama Sutra. Missionary meant you just make a standard grilled cheese and Kama Sutra meant you can get as funky as you want as long as the thing was still at least sixty percent cheese. Lots of cheese. Lots of fun.
-- Watched the Men's Snowboarding Super Pipe Finals of The X Games last night. My favorite boarder Danny Kass finished second even though he did not perform his patented Kass-a-Roll maneuver. This has got to be the coolest sport on the planet. The aerials these guys pull off are incredible to watch, the participants are as colorful as can be, and the whole vibe is just flat out stoked.
-- Obviously, if you've been reading Piker at all in the last few months, you know I've been following the NFL season extremely closely. So, naturally, I'm psyched for Super Bowl XXXVIII this coming Sunday. Most likely, I'll be attending Nitrous Bowl IV, the Super Bowl party where I met My Girl two years ago. But, there's a groundswell for a sea change this year, and Nitrous Bowl could very well morph into something a little different, say Shroom Bowl I...
-- Eagle Rock and Pasadena, Los Angeles. My Girl and I have been living together in Eagle Rock for the past three months. I have fallen hard for our little small town within a big city and I'm loving living there. I have also come to dig on Pasadena, where My Girl and I seem to gravitate to every weekend. Whether it be for the great restaurants like Yujean Kang's or the great shopping at Paseo Colorado or movies at the Academy 6, we're feeling blessed to live one exit down from this amazing city within a city.
-- The Academy Award Nominations and the Golden Globe Awards. As a ceremony, the Golden Globes was rather ho-hum, although My Girl and I had a great time watching it, but for the most part I got the feeling the awards went to the right people. "24" was kind of a shocking win. "Six Feet Under" should have won. And Anthony LaPaglia winning for Best Actor was questionable. Actually, Kiefer Sutherland should have won that one. I'm going to do a full rundown of the Academy Award noms either later tonight or tomorrow.
I'm writing again. Check back for frequent updates, pikers.
Yeah, I know, I'm a piker. I've been neglecting this site in a major way for some time now. Just cut me some slack, man. My life has changed, my routine is completely different... I've changed. So, if you pikers are still checking here for new stuff, that means that you've missed me, or at least you've missed my writing. That's a good sign. To be honest, I've missed my writing.
As usual, I don't have much time to post anything in depth. But, I do want to list a few things I've been enjoying recently:
-- Attended the Second Annual Grilled Cheese International at Theory Labs this weekend. What a fantastic event. I mean, it's a competition to see who can make the best grilled cheese. There were two categories: Missionary and Kama Sutra. Missionary meant you just make a standard grilled cheese and Kama Sutra meant you can get as funky as you want as long as the thing was still at least sixty percent cheese. Lots of cheese. Lots of fun.
-- Watched the Men's Snowboarding Super Pipe Finals of The X Games last night. My favorite boarder Danny Kass finished second even though he did not perform his patented Kass-a-Roll maneuver. This has got to be the coolest sport on the planet. The aerials these guys pull off are incredible to watch, the participants are as colorful as can be, and the whole vibe is just flat out stoked.
-- Obviously, if you've been reading Piker at all in the last few months, you know I've been following the NFL season extremely closely. So, naturally, I'm psyched for Super Bowl XXXVIII this coming Sunday. Most likely, I'll be attending Nitrous Bowl IV, the Super Bowl party where I met My Girl two years ago. But, there's a groundswell for a sea change this year, and Nitrous Bowl could very well morph into something a little different, say Shroom Bowl I...
-- Eagle Rock and Pasadena, Los Angeles. My Girl and I have been living together in Eagle Rock for the past three months. I have fallen hard for our little small town within a big city and I'm loving living there. I have also come to dig on Pasadena, where My Girl and I seem to gravitate to every weekend. Whether it be for the great restaurants like Yujean Kang's or the great shopping at Paseo Colorado or movies at the Academy 6, we're feeling blessed to live one exit down from this amazing city within a city.
-- The Academy Award Nominations and the Golden Globe Awards. As a ceremony, the Golden Globes was rather ho-hum, although My Girl and I had a great time watching it, but for the most part I got the feeling the awards went to the right people. "24" was kind of a shocking win. "Six Feet Under" should have won. And Anthony LaPaglia winning for Best Actor was questionable. Actually, Kiefer Sutherland should have won that one. I'm going to do a full rundown of the Academy Award noms either later tonight or tomorrow.
I'm writing again. Check back for frequent updates, pikers.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
PIKER PLAYOFF PICKS
Here we are at halftime of the Carolina-St. Louis game with the Panthers leading 10-9. Obviously, Piker missed the deadline to pick this game, but for what it's worth, Carolina getting 7 points would have been the pick. But, that point is moot.
Last week, Piker went 3-1 in his playoffs picks. However, the one loss was a bad one. Piker picked Denver +3 against Indy, but would have lost that game even if it was Denver +30. What an embarrassing loss for Denver. After dominating the Colts in Indianapolis two weeks earlier, the Broncos just couldn't do a single thing right. Indy come out playing with a lot of emotion and Denver never got into the game. Peyton got his first playoff win and poor Mike Shanahan still doesn't have a playoff win since John Elway retired after winning two straight Super Bowls.
On to this week's picks before Piker misses any more deadlines. Whenever Piker has picked against New England this season, Piker's been burned, but....
1/10 4:30 PM ET
OFF THE BOARD
Carolina
ST. LOUIS -7
1/10 8:15 PM ET
Tennessee
NEW ENGLAND -6
1/11 1:00 PM ET
Indianapolis
KANSAS CITY -3
1/11 4:45 PM ET
Green Bay
PHILADELPHIA -5.5
Here we are at halftime of the Carolina-St. Louis game with the Panthers leading 10-9. Obviously, Piker missed the deadline to pick this game, but for what it's worth, Carolina getting 7 points would have been the pick. But, that point is moot.
Last week, Piker went 3-1 in his playoffs picks. However, the one loss was a bad one. Piker picked Denver +3 against Indy, but would have lost that game even if it was Denver +30. What an embarrassing loss for Denver. After dominating the Colts in Indianapolis two weeks earlier, the Broncos just couldn't do a single thing right. Indy come out playing with a lot of emotion and Denver never got into the game. Peyton got his first playoff win and poor Mike Shanahan still doesn't have a playoff win since John Elway retired after winning two straight Super Bowls.
On to this week's picks before Piker misses any more deadlines. Whenever Piker has picked against New England this season, Piker's been burned, but....
1/10 4:30 PM ET
OFF THE BOARD
Carolina
ST. LOUIS -7
1/10 8:15 PM ET
Tennessee
NEW ENGLAND -6
1/11 1:00 PM ET
Indianapolis
KANSAS CITY -3
1/11 4:45 PM ET
Green Bay
PHILADELPHIA -5.5
Saturday, January 03, 2004
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 17 RESULTS
So close. Piker pined to end the 2003 NFL season with a record 20 games over .500. Piker fell one game short, going 9-7 in the final week of the regular season to finish with a 125-107-8 record. However, Piker is pleased as punch that this season-long experiment resulted in a winning record. If Piker had placed bets on every regular season game after Week 1, provided it was the same amount of money on each game, Piker would have won money over the course of the season. That impresses Piker, precisely because it's un-Piker-like.
WON: New England, Atlanta, Cleveland, Houston, Kansas City, New Orleans, Tennessee, Green Bay, Arizona
LOST: San Francicso, Washington, St. Louis, Miami, N.Y. Giants, Oakland, Baltimore
Just as Piker did, Piker's Miami Dolphins came up one game short as well. They finished 10-6 on the year and missed the playoffs for the second straight season. They are the first NFL team in 10 years to win 10 games in the regular season and fail to qualify for the post-season. But, it's inexusable. The Dolphins simply failed to play up to their talent level. They lost close games at home that they had chances to win. They turned the ball over at deciding moments in games. They rarely dominated the line of scrimmage. They didn't use Ricky Williams like the superstar that he is. They didn't make big defensive plays at the end of games. And besides an ugly 9-6 win over Baltimore and a thrilling Thanksgiving Day victory over Dallas, they failes to beat playoff teams. Then they decided to retain Dave Wannestadt. That did not make Piker happy. Piker does not believe that Dave Wannestadt can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. And Piker does not believe that Jay Fiedler can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. On those notes, Piker believes that Jay Fiedler will not be the Dolphins starting QB at the beginning of next season and Piker believes that Dave Wannestadt will not make it through the 2004 season as the head coach of the Miami Dolphins. And, unless the Dolphins find their own Jack McKeon miracle in Miami, they will not win the Super Bowl next season.
So close. Piker pined to end the 2003 NFL season with a record 20 games over .500. Piker fell one game short, going 9-7 in the final week of the regular season to finish with a 125-107-8 record. However, Piker is pleased as punch that this season-long experiment resulted in a winning record. If Piker had placed bets on every regular season game after Week 1, provided it was the same amount of money on each game, Piker would have won money over the course of the season. That impresses Piker, precisely because it's un-Piker-like.
WON: New England, Atlanta, Cleveland, Houston, Kansas City, New Orleans, Tennessee, Green Bay, Arizona
LOST: San Francicso, Washington, St. Louis, Miami, N.Y. Giants, Oakland, Baltimore
Just as Piker did, Piker's Miami Dolphins came up one game short as well. They finished 10-6 on the year and missed the playoffs for the second straight season. They are the first NFL team in 10 years to win 10 games in the regular season and fail to qualify for the post-season. But, it's inexusable. The Dolphins simply failed to play up to their talent level. They lost close games at home that they had chances to win. They turned the ball over at deciding moments in games. They rarely dominated the line of scrimmage. They didn't use Ricky Williams like the superstar that he is. They didn't make big defensive plays at the end of games. And besides an ugly 9-6 win over Baltimore and a thrilling Thanksgiving Day victory over Dallas, they failes to beat playoff teams. Then they decided to retain Dave Wannestadt. That did not make Piker happy. Piker does not believe that Dave Wannestadt can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. And Piker does not believe that Jay Fiedler can lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl. On those notes, Piker believes that Jay Fiedler will not be the Dolphins starting QB at the beginning of next season and Piker believes that Dave Wannestadt will not make it through the 2004 season as the head coach of the Miami Dolphins. And, unless the Dolphins find their own Jack McKeon miracle in Miami, they will not win the Super Bowl next season.
Saturday, December 27, 2003
THE KING OF RINGS
Piker intended to live at the movie theater this holiday season. It hasn't quite worked out that way, but Piker has seen two movies. The first was Bad Santa, which had its funny moments but was ultimately unsatisfying and nothing special. Yesterday, Piker saw The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It too had its funny moments, but was ultimately one of the most satisfying and special movies Piker has even seen. Piker actually shed tears in the third Act. The trilogy as a whole was such a powerful experience. What amazed Piker most was the combination of technical mastery of the visual world of Tolkien's books and the sterling storytelling structure that leads to a highly emotional experience. Peter Jackson obviously deserves much of the credit as director of this massive undertaking. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is so humongus in scope and so technical and complicated that what may get lost in talking about these films is Jackson's work with the actors. He elicits so many great acting performances, both large and small, and accomplishes the elusive cohesion that every director strives for, where every part serves the whole. In fact, every last detail on that screen displays the work of a master filmmaker getting the very best work out of hundreds and hundreds of people who participated in mounting this epic series. Not since the first Star Wars trilogy has such a saga captured the imagination of a movie-going generation.
I first read "The Hobbit" in seventh grade. Tolkien's world was etched in my little Piker brain, but for some reason, I never read The Lord of the Rings trilogy of books. In a way, I'm glad. It allowed me to view the movies with fresh eyes and that child-like sense of wonder of what would happen next. Now that I've seen the entire trilogy up on that big screen, I'm ready to tackle the series of books. In fact, I'm more psyched than ever to read them.
Piker intended to live at the movie theater this holiday season. It hasn't quite worked out that way, but Piker has seen two movies. The first was Bad Santa, which had its funny moments but was ultimately unsatisfying and nothing special. Yesterday, Piker saw The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It too had its funny moments, but was ultimately one of the most satisfying and special movies Piker has even seen. Piker actually shed tears in the third Act. The trilogy as a whole was such a powerful experience. What amazed Piker most was the combination of technical mastery of the visual world of Tolkien's books and the sterling storytelling structure that leads to a highly emotional experience. Peter Jackson obviously deserves much of the credit as director of this massive undertaking. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is so humongus in scope and so technical and complicated that what may get lost in talking about these films is Jackson's work with the actors. He elicits so many great acting performances, both large and small, and accomplishes the elusive cohesion that every director strives for, where every part serves the whole. In fact, every last detail on that screen displays the work of a master filmmaker getting the very best work out of hundreds and hundreds of people who participated in mounting this epic series. Not since the first Star Wars trilogy has such a saga captured the imagination of a movie-going generation.
I first read "The Hobbit" in seventh grade. Tolkien's world was etched in my little Piker brain, but for some reason, I never read The Lord of the Rings trilogy of books. In a way, I'm glad. It allowed me to view the movies with fresh eyes and that child-like sense of wonder of what would happen next. Now that I've seen the entire trilogy up on that big screen, I'm ready to tackle the series of books. In fact, I'm more psyched than ever to read them.
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 17
12/27 1:30 PM ET
Buffalo
NEW ENGLAND -9
12/27 5:00 PM ET
Seattle
SAN FRANCISCO -2.5
12/27 8:30 PM ET
Philadelphia -8
WASHINGTON
12/28 1:00 PM ET
Jacksonville
ATLANTA -3
Cleveland
CINCINNATI -7.5
St. Louis -10
DETROIT
Indianapolis -7
HOUSTON
Chicago
KANSAS CITY -9.5
N.Y Jets
MIAMI -4
Dallas -1.5
NEW ORLEANS
Tampa Bay
TENNESSEE -7
12/28 4:05 PM ET
Minnesota -7.5
ARIZONA
Carolina -5
N.Y. GIANTS
Denver
GREEN BAY -6.5
Oakland
SAN DIEGO -4
12/28 8:30 PM ET
Pittsburgh
BALTIMORE -7.5
12/27 1:30 PM ET
Buffalo
NEW ENGLAND -9
12/27 5:00 PM ET
Seattle
SAN FRANCISCO -2.5
12/27 8:30 PM ET
Philadelphia -8
WASHINGTON
12/28 1:00 PM ET
Jacksonville
ATLANTA -3
Cleveland
CINCINNATI -7.5
St. Louis -10
DETROIT
Indianapolis -7
HOUSTON
Chicago
KANSAS CITY -9.5
N.Y Jets
MIAMI -4
Dallas -1.5
NEW ORLEANS
Tampa Bay
TENNESSEE -7
12/28 4:05 PM ET
Minnesota -7.5
ARIZONA
Carolina -5
N.Y. GIANTS
Denver
GREEN BAY -6.5
Oakland
SAN DIEGO -4
12/28 8:30 PM ET
Pittsburgh
BALTIMORE -7.5
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 16 RESULTS
Piker's three-week streak of going 10-6 was snapped last week with a ho-hum bah humbug 8-8 mark. Starting last Saturday, Piker struggled to keep his head above water, as Minnesota blindsided Kansas City and friggin' New England stymied Chad Pennington drive after drive. New England impresses Piker to no end. They are the type of team Piker wishes his fickle Phins could be. They're tough at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, they force turnovers and don't make many mistakes themselves, they play smart, they play with heart, and they find ways to win. The Pats did the same things two years ago that they've done this year, and two years ago they won the Super Bowl. Piker doesn't think there's any question they can do it again, but the AFC is packed this season. Despite getting blown out by Minnesota last week and flailing a bit in December, KC is a damn good football team that could take the conference. Ditto for Indianapolis, which was dominated Sunday night by Denver. The Broncos are dangerous right now. They're playing their best football of the year when it matters most. If Clinton Portis can get healthy for the playoffs, that team could take the conference as well. But Piker's Pick is the Tennessee Titans. Picked 'em at the beginning of the year, sticking with 'em now. Air McNair is the McMan and Jeff Fischer has really earned my respect over the years. That being said, Piker half-expects the Pats to continue to beat the odds by beating everyone else.
Parity also exists in the NFC title chase, but on paper it seems much clearer. St. Louis and Philly are the class of the conference and Piker anticipates them matching up for the right to play for the Silver Ball. Carolina has already overachieved and doesn't seem like they have quite enough to win on the road in a second-round playoff game. Ditto for Dallas. And whichever two out of Minnesota, Green Bay, or Seattle make it in, Piker doesn't think they'll last long. Although, Brett Favre proved once again Monday night that the man is magic. He is what sports heroes are all about.
So, all in all, we could be looking at a repeat matchup of one of the best Super Bowls ever -- The Rams and The Titans. Maybe the Titans can get that extra yard and actually win this time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Piker knows, this is all moot because Teddy Bruschi and Willie McGinest and Tom Brady and Bill Belichek won't let the Patriots lose to anybody.
WON: Atlanta, Miami, Baltimore, Washington, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Seattle, Green Bay
LOST: Kansas City, N.Y. Jets, Carolina, Jacksonville, N.Y. Giants, Tennessee, Philadelphia, Indianapolis
The season total for Piker Picks is now 116-100-8. With 16 games left in the season, Piker is now assured of at least a .500 finish and .500 would mean losing every single game this week. Another 10-6 week would mean Piker would finish 20 games over .500 and that would please Piker almost as much as the Ricky Williams jersey Piker received for Christmas.
Oh, and by the way, the Dolphins suck for not making the playoffs again. With all that talent, there's just no excuse. This prompts Piker to repeat his Miami mantra: Wannestadt Must Walk, Ricky Must Run.
Piker's three-week streak of going 10-6 was snapped last week with a ho-hum bah humbug 8-8 mark. Starting last Saturday, Piker struggled to keep his head above water, as Minnesota blindsided Kansas City and friggin' New England stymied Chad Pennington drive after drive. New England impresses Piker to no end. They are the type of team Piker wishes his fickle Phins could be. They're tough at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, they force turnovers and don't make many mistakes themselves, they play smart, they play with heart, and they find ways to win. The Pats did the same things two years ago that they've done this year, and two years ago they won the Super Bowl. Piker doesn't think there's any question they can do it again, but the AFC is packed this season. Despite getting blown out by Minnesota last week and flailing a bit in December, KC is a damn good football team that could take the conference. Ditto for Indianapolis, which was dominated Sunday night by Denver. The Broncos are dangerous right now. They're playing their best football of the year when it matters most. If Clinton Portis can get healthy for the playoffs, that team could take the conference as well. But Piker's Pick is the Tennessee Titans. Picked 'em at the beginning of the year, sticking with 'em now. Air McNair is the McMan and Jeff Fischer has really earned my respect over the years. That being said, Piker half-expects the Pats to continue to beat the odds by beating everyone else.
Parity also exists in the NFC title chase, but on paper it seems much clearer. St. Louis and Philly are the class of the conference and Piker anticipates them matching up for the right to play for the Silver Ball. Carolina has already overachieved and doesn't seem like they have quite enough to win on the road in a second-round playoff game. Ditto for Dallas. And whichever two out of Minnesota, Green Bay, or Seattle make it in, Piker doesn't think they'll last long. Although, Brett Favre proved once again Monday night that the man is magic. He is what sports heroes are all about.
So, all in all, we could be looking at a repeat matchup of one of the best Super Bowls ever -- The Rams and The Titans. Maybe the Titans can get that extra yard and actually win this time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Piker knows, this is all moot because Teddy Bruschi and Willie McGinest and Tom Brady and Bill Belichek won't let the Patriots lose to anybody.
WON: Atlanta, Miami, Baltimore, Washington, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Seattle, Green Bay
LOST: Kansas City, N.Y. Jets, Carolina, Jacksonville, N.Y. Giants, Tennessee, Philadelphia, Indianapolis
The season total for Piker Picks is now 116-100-8. With 16 games left in the season, Piker is now assured of at least a .500 finish and .500 would mean losing every single game this week. Another 10-6 week would mean Piker would finish 20 games over .500 and that would please Piker almost as much as the Ricky Williams jersey Piker received for Christmas.
Oh, and by the way, the Dolphins suck for not making the playoffs again. With all that talent, there's just no excuse. This prompts Piker to repeat his Miami mantra: Wannestadt Must Walk, Ricky Must Run.
Saturday, December 20, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 16
12/20 1:30 PM ET
Atlanta
TAMPA BAY -8.5
12/20 5:00 PM ET
Kansas City -3
MINNESOTA
12/20 8:30 PM ET
New England -3
N.Y. JETS
12/21 1:00 PM ET
Miami
BUFFALO -2
Baltimore -3
CLEVELAND
Washington
CHICAGO -4.5
Cincinnati
ST. LOUIS -7
Detroit
CAROLINA -9
New Orleans
JACKSONVILLE -2
N.Y. Giants
DALLAS -10.5
Tennessee -6
HOUSTON
12/21 4:05 PM ET
San Diego
PITTSBURGH -6
San Francisco
PHILADELPHIA -7.5
Arizona
SEATTLE -14
12/21 8:30 PM ET
Denver
INDIANAPOLIS -5
12/22 9:00 PM ET
Green Bay -4.5
OAKLAND
12/20 1:30 PM ET
Atlanta
TAMPA BAY -8.5
12/20 5:00 PM ET
Kansas City -3
MINNESOTA
12/20 8:30 PM ET
New England -3
N.Y. JETS
12/21 1:00 PM ET
Miami
BUFFALO -2
Baltimore -3
CLEVELAND
Washington
CHICAGO -4.5
Cincinnati
ST. LOUIS -7
Detroit
CAROLINA -9
New Orleans
JACKSONVILLE -2
N.Y. Giants
DALLAS -10.5
Tennessee -6
HOUSTON
12/21 4:05 PM ET
San Diego
PITTSBURGH -6
San Francisco
PHILADELPHIA -7.5
Arizona
SEATTLE -14
12/21 8:30 PM ET
Denver
INDIANAPOLIS -5
12/22 9:00 PM ET
Green Bay -4.5
OAKLAND
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 15 RESULTS
For the third straight week, Piker prognosticated on his own, and for the third straight week Piker achieved a 10-6 record. Consistent, if unspectacular. The season mark currently stands at 108-92-8. After sitting out Week 1 with a variety of disorganization and psychosomatic injuries, Piker is shooting for a 130-win season, while attempting to keep losses under 100. Those are pretty lofty goals and in all likelihood Piker will probably fall short. Just like Piker's beloved (and behated) Miami Dolphins. The December descent has struck the warm-weather Dolphins once again and it is now highly doubtful they'll be receiving an invitation to the NFL's Playoff Party. In all honesty, they don't deserve it. Underachievers need scapegoats. Count Piker among the humidity-laden fair-weather fans of South Florida in calling for the extra large head of one Dave Wannstedt. And as much as Piker enjoys the fact that his favorite football team is quarterbacked by a Long Island Jew who attended the same high school as Piker's mother, Piker knows in his pigskin heart that the Dolphins will never contend for a Super Bowl title with Jay Fiedler at the helm. While we're playing the blame game... Norv Turner has done an awful job calling plays this season, failing to take advantage of his best offensive player. Why he's not buying into Run, Ricky, Run and insisting on finding creative ways to get Ricky the ball in the open field is a baffling mystery to me. In addition, the 'Phins desperately need to upgrade an undersized and undertalented offensive line and acquire a defensive philosophy that utilizes their team speed and great athletes to cause problems for opposing offenses. With all of these lingering issues, the Dolphins just aren't good enough to beat the better teams in the league. Piker is sick and tired of getting fooled into thinking otherwise by their early season performances year in and year out. Wannstedt Must Walk and Ricky Must Run.
For the third straight week, Piker prognosticated on his own, and for the third straight week Piker achieved a 10-6 record. Consistent, if unspectacular. The season mark currently stands at 108-92-8. After sitting out Week 1 with a variety of disorganization and psychosomatic injuries, Piker is shooting for a 130-win season, while attempting to keep losses under 100. Those are pretty lofty goals and in all likelihood Piker will probably fall short. Just like Piker's beloved (and behated) Miami Dolphins. The December descent has struck the warm-weather Dolphins once again and it is now highly doubtful they'll be receiving an invitation to the NFL's Playoff Party. In all honesty, they don't deserve it. Underachievers need scapegoats. Count Piker among the humidity-laden fair-weather fans of South Florida in calling for the extra large head of one Dave Wannstedt. And as much as Piker enjoys the fact that his favorite football team is quarterbacked by a Long Island Jew who attended the same high school as Piker's mother, Piker knows in his pigskin heart that the Dolphins will never contend for a Super Bowl title with Jay Fiedler at the helm. While we're playing the blame game... Norv Turner has done an awful job calling plays this season, failing to take advantage of his best offensive player. Why he's not buying into Run, Ricky, Run and insisting on finding creative ways to get Ricky the ball in the open field is a baffling mystery to me. In addition, the 'Phins desperately need to upgrade an undersized and undertalented offensive line and acquire a defensive philosophy that utilizes their team speed and great athletes to cause problems for opposing offenses. With all of these lingering issues, the Dolphins just aren't good enough to beat the better teams in the league. Piker is sick and tired of getting fooled into thinking otherwise by their early season performances year in and year out. Wannstedt Must Walk and Ricky Must Run.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
"I AM A GOLDEN GOD"
The 2003 Golden Globe Nominations are out. As the loyalist of loyal Piker enthusiasts know, Piker loves to handicap the Oscars. I'm not sure why this is a favorite pastime, but it is. So, in that spirit, before I make my preliminary predictions, you can check out the full list of nominees and catch up on David Poland's Oscar Rankings.
PIKER'S EARLY OSCAR PREDICTIONS
BEST PICTURE
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. In America
Snub: Lost in Translation
BEST DIRECTOR
1. Peter Jackson - LOTR: Return of the King
2. Anthony Minghella - Cold Mountain
3. Clint Eastwood - Mystic River
4. Jim Sheridan - In America
5. Peter Weir - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Snub: Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation
BEST ACTOR
1. Sean Penn - Mystic River
2. Ben Kingsley - House of Sand and Fog
3. Jude Law - Cold Mountain
4. Russell Crowe - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Snubs: Tom Cruise - The Last Samurai, Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean
BEST ACTRESS
1. Charlize Theron - Monster
2. Nicole Kidman - Cold Mountain
3. Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
4. Samantha Morton - In America
5. Gwyneth Paltrow - Sylvia
Snubs: Jennifer Connelly - House of Sand and Fog, Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1. Benecio Del Toro - 21 Grams
2. Ken Watanabe - The Last Samurai
3. Tim Robbins - Mystic River
4. Albert Finney - Big Fish
5. Alec Baldwin - The Cooler
Snubs: Sean Astin, Sir Ian McKellan - LOTR: Return of the King, Djimon Honsou - In America
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1. Scarlet Johansson - Lost in Translation
2. Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain
3. Marcia Gay Harden - Mystic River
4. Holly Hunter - Thirteen
5. Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
Snub: Hope Davis - American Splendor
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Big Fish
Snubs: American Splendor, House of Sand and Fog
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
1. Lost in Translation
2. In America
3. 21 Grams
4. Love Actually
5. Dirty Pretty Things
Snub: The Last Samurai
All right, that's about all the juice I've got right now. It's late (at least on East Coast time it is) and I've got a big giant day tomorrow. Real quick -- I think Lord of the Rings: Return of the King will win Best Picture and Peter Jackson will win Best Director, I'll go with Poland's Picks of Sean Penn for Best Actor and Charlize Theron for Best Actress, Albert Finney for Best Supporting Actor and Scarlett Johansson for Best Supporting Actress, Lord of the Rings for Best Adapted and Lost in Translation for Best Original Screenplay. This year will feature three Belles of the Ball: Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and Sofia Coppola, but only one King: Peter Jackson.
I think it's possible I might be starting to get a wee bit amped.
The 2003 Golden Globe Nominations are out. As the loyalist of loyal Piker enthusiasts know, Piker loves to handicap the Oscars. I'm not sure why this is a favorite pastime, but it is. So, in that spirit, before I make my preliminary predictions, you can check out the full list of nominees and catch up on David Poland's Oscar Rankings.
PIKER'S EARLY OSCAR PREDICTIONS
BEST PICTURE
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. In America
Snub: Lost in Translation
BEST DIRECTOR
1. Peter Jackson - LOTR: Return of the King
2. Anthony Minghella - Cold Mountain
3. Clint Eastwood - Mystic River
4. Jim Sheridan - In America
5. Peter Weir - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Snub: Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation
BEST ACTOR
1. Sean Penn - Mystic River
2. Ben Kingsley - House of Sand and Fog
3. Jude Law - Cold Mountain
4. Russell Crowe - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Snubs: Tom Cruise - The Last Samurai, Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean
BEST ACTRESS
1. Charlize Theron - Monster
2. Nicole Kidman - Cold Mountain
3. Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
4. Samantha Morton - In America
5. Gwyneth Paltrow - Sylvia
Snubs: Jennifer Connelly - House of Sand and Fog, Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1. Benecio Del Toro - 21 Grams
2. Ken Watanabe - The Last Samurai
3. Tim Robbins - Mystic River
4. Albert Finney - Big Fish
5. Alec Baldwin - The Cooler
Snubs: Sean Astin, Sir Ian McKellan - LOTR: Return of the King, Djimon Honsou - In America
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1. Scarlet Johansson - Lost in Translation
2. Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain
3. Marcia Gay Harden - Mystic River
4. Holly Hunter - Thirteen
5. Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
Snub: Hope Davis - American Splendor
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Big Fish
Snubs: American Splendor, House of Sand and Fog
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
1. Lost in Translation
2. In America
3. 21 Grams
4. Love Actually
5. Dirty Pretty Things
Snub: The Last Samurai
All right, that's about all the juice I've got right now. It's late (at least on East Coast time it is) and I've got a big giant day tomorrow. Real quick -- I think Lord of the Rings: Return of the King will win Best Picture and Peter Jackson will win Best Director, I'll go with Poland's Picks of Sean Penn for Best Actor and Charlize Theron for Best Actress, Albert Finney for Best Supporting Actor and Scarlett Johansson for Best Supporting Actress, Lord of the Rings for Best Adapted and Lost in Translation for Best Original Screenplay. This year will feature three Belles of the Ball: Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and Sofia Coppola, but only one King: Peter Jackson.
I think it's possible I might be starting to get a wee bit amped.
IN THROUGH THE OUT DOOR
Right now, I'm not sure if I'm coming or going. The long and short of it:
Spent a whirlwind weekend in San Francisco, flew back to Los Angeles on Sunday night to have people over for the Survivor Finale, started work on Will & Grace on Monday and Tuesday, then flew to Durham, North Carolina on Wednesday for the holidays.
SAN FRANCISCO
Flew out of Burbank on Southwest, which I must say was an all-around hassle-free trip. Rented a car and drove into the city to eat some phenomenal Chinese food at Brandy Ho's. Checked into the Fairmont Hotel, courtesy of Salon, who was flying My Girl up so she can attend the their Holiday Party. So, attend we did. The affair was held at a swank apartment in Alta Plaza, next to Pacific Heights. Great view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge, beautful and tasteful Asian art all over the apartment, a few decent trays of hors d'oeuvres, and some truly interesting and fun people. The party was winding down kind of early, way before the people were actually winding down, so My Girl and I held an impromptu after-party in our hotel room at the Fairmont. And we partied like Internet rock stars. One would have thought it was the halcyon days of 1999, what with all the gusto and fervor with which we threw down. David Talbot, the CEO and an honorable gentleman and scholar to boot, insisted we stay at the Fairmont for the entire weekend, but My Girl would have nothing of it. Instead, we checked out and drove to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment in an industrial building off Divisidero. Needless to say, Our Fantastic Friend is a fantastic guy with fantastic friends who always treats us with the utmost hospitailty. I mean, the guy gives up his bed for us when we come to town... A real mensch, which incidentally was a recent answer in the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle. And so Our Fantastic Friend introduced us to his Fantastic Friends and took us to an art opening, a hip-hop party in Oakland, a party at an old school bar that triple-booked parties that night (including a Santa Party and a Hat Party), and a late-night party in Bernall Heights (which didn't end until we took a cab back to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment at 5:30 in the morning). We slept a couple of hours and then caught an 11:30 am flight back to Burbank.
Backtracking slightly -- We also managed to have dinner with another couple whose wedding we attended last year in Marin County. Their first baby is due to arrive any minute. And we spent some quality time with one of my good friends from LA who relocated to Pacific Heights and is now married to a helluva guy, who I met for the first time, and has the most gorgeous and special eight and half-month old baby girl named India. They're teaching her sign language and trying at all costs to avoid ever having to say the word "no" to her. I love that.
SURVIVOR
I'm so glad Johnny Fuckhead nee Fair Play didn't win. I hate that guy. I know he wanted me to hate him, but that only adds to the overall amount that I hate him. I'm glad Sandra won. Out of all the yahoos left, Sanda was by far the most likable. Besides aligning with Rupert, Sandra didn't seem to play the game all that well, but judging by recent winners, you really don't have to. In fact, if you win too many challenges, you get voted out in the middle somewhere, and if you scheme too much, you make it to the final three before getting voted out. I have to admit I'm kind of psyched for the all-star edition.
WILL & GRACE
I finally got a job on a hit show. It's like a foreign world to me. Things run so smoothly. The writers are efficient and, with the exception of show night, don't work past 7:30. The actors are talented and hit their lines and have fun doing it. The stories work, the scenes work, and the jokes work. The director is great, the crew is great, and the show has money to spend and is generous with it. I had the misfortune of starting work when the holiday gift-giving was full on and everyone was getting piles of presents except me. Not that I thought I deserved gifts after working on the show for a couple of hours, but it's weird when everyone is cashing in and you're left out in the cold. However, I did get to enjoy one gift. Megan treated the people on the show to a taco truck on Tuesday and hired a mariachi band to play during lunch. I had the surreal feeling that this is the kind of stuff I had been missing all these years working on first-year sitcoms that never got out of the gate. Looks like I'll be having myself some fun on this show, and I won't have to give up my social life to do so.
DURHAM
Well, we're home for the holidays. My Girl's Home, actually. We flew in Wednesday night, getting picked up by Super Shuttle at our house in Eagle Rock at 9:30 am PST and arriving at Raleigh/Durham at 10:30 EST. Long, long day. But, I really like My Girl's Family a lot and they're extremely welcoming to me, so there isn't any weirdness. In fact, Babs (My Mom) and Norms (My Gram) are flying up tomorrow to spend the weekend here and meet My Girl's Fam. All parties involved are very easy to get along with, so I'm sure everything will go swimmingly. This holiday break, besides hanging out with My Girl and our families, I plan to do an immense amount of reading, movie viewing, and PlayStation 2 playing. Maybe I'll squeeze in a little shopping and perhaps, if the gods smile on me, some writing while I'm at.
In case this is my last post of the year, (I'm not saying it will be, but just in case), I want to thank the six of you for your loyal readership and wish all of you pikers a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Damn Good New Year.
Peace. We out.
Right now, I'm not sure if I'm coming or going. The long and short of it:
Spent a whirlwind weekend in San Francisco, flew back to Los Angeles on Sunday night to have people over for the Survivor Finale, started work on Will & Grace on Monday and Tuesday, then flew to Durham, North Carolina on Wednesday for the holidays.
SAN FRANCISCO
Flew out of Burbank on Southwest, which I must say was an all-around hassle-free trip. Rented a car and drove into the city to eat some phenomenal Chinese food at Brandy Ho's. Checked into the Fairmont Hotel, courtesy of Salon, who was flying My Girl up so she can attend the their Holiday Party. So, attend we did. The affair was held at a swank apartment in Alta Plaza, next to Pacific Heights. Great view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge, beautful and tasteful Asian art all over the apartment, a few decent trays of hors d'oeuvres, and some truly interesting and fun people. The party was winding down kind of early, way before the people were actually winding down, so My Girl and I held an impromptu after-party in our hotel room at the Fairmont. And we partied like Internet rock stars. One would have thought it was the halcyon days of 1999, what with all the gusto and fervor with which we threw down. David Talbot, the CEO and an honorable gentleman and scholar to boot, insisted we stay at the Fairmont for the entire weekend, but My Girl would have nothing of it. Instead, we checked out and drove to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment in an industrial building off Divisidero. Needless to say, Our Fantastic Friend is a fantastic guy with fantastic friends who always treats us with the utmost hospitailty. I mean, the guy gives up his bed for us when we come to town... A real mensch, which incidentally was a recent answer in the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle. And so Our Fantastic Friend introduced us to his Fantastic Friends and took us to an art opening, a hip-hop party in Oakland, a party at an old school bar that triple-booked parties that night (including a Santa Party and a Hat Party), and a late-night party in Bernall Heights (which didn't end until we took a cab back to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment at 5:30 in the morning). We slept a couple of hours and then caught an 11:30 am flight back to Burbank.
Backtracking slightly -- We also managed to have dinner with another couple whose wedding we attended last year in Marin County. Their first baby is due to arrive any minute. And we spent some quality time with one of my good friends from LA who relocated to Pacific Heights and is now married to a helluva guy, who I met for the first time, and has the most gorgeous and special eight and half-month old baby girl named India. They're teaching her sign language and trying at all costs to avoid ever having to say the word "no" to her. I love that.
SURVIVOR
I'm so glad Johnny Fuckhead nee Fair Play didn't win. I hate that guy. I know he wanted me to hate him, but that only adds to the overall amount that I hate him. I'm glad Sandra won. Out of all the yahoos left, Sanda was by far the most likable. Besides aligning with Rupert, Sandra didn't seem to play the game all that well, but judging by recent winners, you really don't have to. In fact, if you win too many challenges, you get voted out in the middle somewhere, and if you scheme too much, you make it to the final three before getting voted out. I have to admit I'm kind of psyched for the all-star edition.
WILL & GRACE
I finally got a job on a hit show. It's like a foreign world to me. Things run so smoothly. The writers are efficient and, with the exception of show night, don't work past 7:30. The actors are talented and hit their lines and have fun doing it. The stories work, the scenes work, and the jokes work. The director is great, the crew is great, and the show has money to spend and is generous with it. I had the misfortune of starting work when the holiday gift-giving was full on and everyone was getting piles of presents except me. Not that I thought I deserved gifts after working on the show for a couple of hours, but it's weird when everyone is cashing in and you're left out in the cold. However, I did get to enjoy one gift. Megan treated the people on the show to a taco truck on Tuesday and hired a mariachi band to play during lunch. I had the surreal feeling that this is the kind of stuff I had been missing all these years working on first-year sitcoms that never got out of the gate. Looks like I'll be having myself some fun on this show, and I won't have to give up my social life to do so.
DURHAM
Well, we're home for the holidays. My Girl's Home, actually. We flew in Wednesday night, getting picked up by Super Shuttle at our house in Eagle Rock at 9:30 am PST and arriving at Raleigh/Durham at 10:30 EST. Long, long day. But, I really like My Girl's Family a lot and they're extremely welcoming to me, so there isn't any weirdness. In fact, Babs (My Mom) and Norms (My Gram) are flying up tomorrow to spend the weekend here and meet My Girl's Fam. All parties involved are very easy to get along with, so I'm sure everything will go swimmingly. This holiday break, besides hanging out with My Girl and our families, I plan to do an immense amount of reading, movie viewing, and PlayStation 2 playing. Maybe I'll squeeze in a little shopping and perhaps, if the gods smile on me, some writing while I'm at.
In case this is my last post of the year, (I'm not saying it will be, but just in case), I want to thank the six of you for your loyal readership and wish all of you pikers a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Damn Good New Year.
Peace. We out.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 15
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/14 1:00 PM ET
Minnesota -1.5
CHICAGO
San Francisco
CINCINNATI -2.5
Atlanta
INDIANAPOLIS -7.5
Detroit
KANSAS CITY -14
Jacksonville
NEW ENGLAND -7
Pittsburgh
N.Y. JETS -3
Seattle
ST. LOUIS -7
Houston
TAMPA BAY -6.5
Buffalo
TENNESSEE -6.5
12/14 4:05 ET
Cleveland
DENVER -10.5
Baltimore
OAKLAND -6.5
Dallas
WASHINGTON Pick 'em
Carolina -6.5
ARIZONA
Green Bay -5
SAN DIEGO
12/14 8:30 PM ET
N.Y. Giants
NEW ORLEANS -7
12/15 9:00 PM ET
Philadelphia
MIAMI -1.5
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/14 1:00 PM ET
Minnesota -1.5
CHICAGO
San Francisco
CINCINNATI -2.5
Atlanta
INDIANAPOLIS -7.5
Detroit
KANSAS CITY -14
Jacksonville
NEW ENGLAND -7
Pittsburgh
N.Y. JETS -3
Seattle
ST. LOUIS -7
Houston
TAMPA BAY -6.5
Buffalo
TENNESSEE -6.5
12/14 4:05 ET
Cleveland
DENVER -10.5
Baltimore
OAKLAND -6.5
Dallas
WASHINGTON Pick 'em
Carolina -6.5
ARIZONA
Green Bay -5
SAN DIEGO
12/14 8:30 PM ET
N.Y. Giants
NEW ORLEANS -7
12/15 9:00 PM ET
Philadelphia
MIAMI -1.5
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 14 RESULTS
Late at night. Flying out in the morning. Piker not have much time to type.
Piker not happy about Dolphin game. Piker not feel good about Jay Fiedler right now. Piker not pleased with offensive line.
PIker not shocked by anything in Week 14. Piker kind of surprised about Denver over K.C. and Indy over Tennessee.
Piker go 10-6 in Week 14. Piker overall record for the year now 98-86-8.
WON: Baltimore, San Diego, Green Bay, Washington, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, New England, Atlanta, St. Louis
LOST: Houston, Seattle, New Orleans, Tennessee, N.Y. Jets, Kansas City
Late at night. Flying out in the morning. Piker not have much time to type.
Piker not happy about Dolphin game. Piker not feel good about Jay Fiedler right now. Piker not pleased with offensive line.
PIker not shocked by anything in Week 14. Piker kind of surprised about Denver over K.C. and Indy over Tennessee.
Piker go 10-6 in Week 14. Piker overall record for the year now 98-86-8.
WON: Baltimore, San Diego, Green Bay, Washington, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, New England, Atlanta, St. Louis
LOST: Houston, Seattle, New Orleans, Tennessee, N.Y. Jets, Kansas City
PIKER POWER RANKINGS
After Week 14
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (2)
2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3)
3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
4. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (5)
5. TENNESSEE TITANS (4)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (6)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (7)
8. DENVER BRONCOS (13)
9. MIAMI DOLPHINS (8)
10. BALTIMORE RAVENS (11)
11. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (14)
12. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
13. DALLAS COWBOYS (10)
14. CINCINNATI BENGALS (12)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)
16. TAMPA BAY BUCS (18)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (19)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (16)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (21)
20. BUFFALO BILLS (23)
21. NEW YORK JETS (17)
22. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (24)
23. CHICAGO BEARS (22)
24. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (28)
25. HOUSTON TEXANS (20)
26. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (27)
28. CLEVELAND BROWNS (26)
29. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
30. DETROIT LIONS (25)
31. OAKLAND RAIDERS (29)
32. ARIZONA CARDINALS (30)
After Week 14
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (2)
2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3)
3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
4. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (5)
5. TENNESSEE TITANS (4)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (6)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (7)
8. DENVER BRONCOS (13)
9. MIAMI DOLPHINS (8)
10. BALTIMORE RAVENS (11)
11. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (14)
12. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
13. DALLAS COWBOYS (10)
14. CINCINNATI BENGALS (12)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)
16. TAMPA BAY BUCS (18)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (19)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (16)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (21)
20. BUFFALO BILLS (23)
21. NEW YORK JETS (17)
22. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (24)
23. CHICAGO BEARS (22)
24. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (28)
25. HOUSTON TEXANS (20)
26. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (27)
28. CLEVELAND BROWNS (26)
29. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
30. DETROIT LIONS (25)
31. OAKLAND RAIDERS (29)
32. ARIZONA CARDINALS (30)
Friday, December 05, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 14
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/7 1:00 PM ET
(7-5) Cincinnati
(7-5) BALTIMORE -3.5
(2-10) San Diego
(4-8) DETROIT -3
(5-7) Chicago
(6-6) GREEN BAY -7
(5-7) Houston
(3-9) JACKSONVILLE -6
(8-4) Seattle
(7-5) MINNESOTA -1.5
(5-7) Tampa Bay
(6-6) NEW ORLEANS -2
(4-8) Washington
(4-8) N.Y. GIANTS -3
(8-4) Dallas
(9-3) PHILADELPHIA -5.5
(3-9) Oakland
(4-8) PITTSBURGH -5.5
(9-3) Indianapolis
(9-3) TENNESSEE -3.5
12/7 4:15 PM ET
(3-9) Arizona
(5-7) SAN FRANCISCO -10
(5-7) N.Y. Jets
(5-7) BUFFALO -3
(11-1) Kansas City
(7-5) DENVER -2.5
(8-4) Miami
(10-2) NEW ENGLAND -3
12/7 8:30 PM ET
(8-4) Carolina -1
(2-10) ATLANTA
12/8 9:00 PM ET
(9-3) St. Louis -4.5
(4-8) CLEVELAND
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/7 1:00 PM ET
(7-5) Cincinnati
(7-5) BALTIMORE -3.5
(2-10) San Diego
(4-8) DETROIT -3
(5-7) Chicago
(6-6) GREEN BAY -7
(5-7) Houston
(3-9) JACKSONVILLE -6
(8-4) Seattle
(7-5) MINNESOTA -1.5
(5-7) Tampa Bay
(6-6) NEW ORLEANS -2
(4-8) Washington
(4-8) N.Y. GIANTS -3
(8-4) Dallas
(9-3) PHILADELPHIA -5.5
(3-9) Oakland
(4-8) PITTSBURGH -5.5
(9-3) Indianapolis
(9-3) TENNESSEE -3.5
12/7 4:15 PM ET
(3-9) Arizona
(5-7) SAN FRANCISCO -10
(5-7) N.Y. Jets
(5-7) BUFFALO -3
(11-1) Kansas City
(7-5) DENVER -2.5
(8-4) Miami
(10-2) NEW ENGLAND -3
12/7 8:30 PM ET
(8-4) Carolina -1
(2-10) ATLANTA
12/8 9:00 PM ET
(9-3) St. Louis -4.5
(4-8) CLEVELAND
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 13 RESULTS
The dust cleared and started to settle in Week 13 of the NFL season. Team records now serve as a solid indicator of how good these teams actually are and how good they can be. Not too many surprises this past weekend. Jacksonville beating Tampa Bay on Sunday night was an upset, but it was one that you felt coming. Tampa is lost and so is their season. Byron Leftwich is a stud and will be an NFL star for a long time. The Jets upsetting the Titans on Monday night was another mild surprise, considering the Titans were bound to lose a game somewhere along the line and the Jets have gotten a lot better since Chad Pennington returned from injury. Other than that, you had the Thanksgiving Day games -- the Lions are always unpredictable and scary on T-Giving and the Packers should have been better prepared, and the Dolphins played their best game of the season in exposing the Cowboys as a team that probably won't get very far in the playoffs, should they make it.
The 'Phins victory was the giddiest romp the Dol-Phans have had to cheer about in quite some time and marks the easiest win they've had all year. Now it's December and everyone's just waiting for the football men from South Florida to freeze up and choke again. The D has to hold fast, Fiedler's gotta stay hot, and Ricky's gotta keep running. Oh, and I told you Chris Chambers was a breakout wideout waiting to happen.
Steve Spurrier is in trouble. After losing to the Saints at home, the Redskins fell to 4-8 and sealed a .500 or worse season. Either the team isn't buying into the former Florida Gator coach's methods, or Spurrier's personality is just not suitable to impose on an NFL franchise. Despite the fact that I hate the Redskins, I still can't help rooting for the old ball coach.
All of a sudden the Ravens have an offense. Alexander Wright is playing pretty well and that team is catching fire at the right time. Meanwhile, the Eagles have been streaking along and came up with a big win at Carolina. If they beat Dallas this weekend, which they should, Philly will be considered the favorite coming out of the NFC. But then there are the Rams -- They're back...
WON: Detroit, Miami, Baltimore, Chicago, Houston, New England, Cincinnati, St. Louis, Seattle, N.Y. Jets
LOST: Carolina, N.Y. Giants, Washington, Oakland, Kansas City, Tampa Bay
Piker picked on his own last week and pulled out the best numbers in recent weeks. 10-6 for the week and should have been 11-5, if not for that meaningless very last second of the game touchdown fucking Flutie threw to cover the spread against the Chiefs. Fucking Flutie...
After the 10-6 Week 13, the season total is all crazy eights: 88-80-8.
The dust cleared and started to settle in Week 13 of the NFL season. Team records now serve as a solid indicator of how good these teams actually are and how good they can be. Not too many surprises this past weekend. Jacksonville beating Tampa Bay on Sunday night was an upset, but it was one that you felt coming. Tampa is lost and so is their season. Byron Leftwich is a stud and will be an NFL star for a long time. The Jets upsetting the Titans on Monday night was another mild surprise, considering the Titans were bound to lose a game somewhere along the line and the Jets have gotten a lot better since Chad Pennington returned from injury. Other than that, you had the Thanksgiving Day games -- the Lions are always unpredictable and scary on T-Giving and the Packers should have been better prepared, and the Dolphins played their best game of the season in exposing the Cowboys as a team that probably won't get very far in the playoffs, should they make it.
The 'Phins victory was the giddiest romp the Dol-Phans have had to cheer about in quite some time and marks the easiest win they've had all year. Now it's December and everyone's just waiting for the football men from South Florida to freeze up and choke again. The D has to hold fast, Fiedler's gotta stay hot, and Ricky's gotta keep running. Oh, and I told you Chris Chambers was a breakout wideout waiting to happen.
Steve Spurrier is in trouble. After losing to the Saints at home, the Redskins fell to 4-8 and sealed a .500 or worse season. Either the team isn't buying into the former Florida Gator coach's methods, or Spurrier's personality is just not suitable to impose on an NFL franchise. Despite the fact that I hate the Redskins, I still can't help rooting for the old ball coach.
All of a sudden the Ravens have an offense. Alexander Wright is playing pretty well and that team is catching fire at the right time. Meanwhile, the Eagles have been streaking along and came up with a big win at Carolina. If they beat Dallas this weekend, which they should, Philly will be considered the favorite coming out of the NFC. But then there are the Rams -- They're back...
WON: Detroit, Miami, Baltimore, Chicago, Houston, New England, Cincinnati, St. Louis, Seattle, N.Y. Jets
LOST: Carolina, N.Y. Giants, Washington, Oakland, Kansas City, Tampa Bay
Piker picked on his own last week and pulled out the best numbers in recent weeks. 10-6 for the week and should have been 11-5, if not for that meaningless very last second of the game touchdown fucking Flutie threw to cover the spread against the Chiefs. Fucking Flutie...
After the 10-6 Week 13, the season total is all crazy eights: 88-80-8.
PIKER POWER RANKINGS
After Week 13
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (3)
3. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4)
4. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
5. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (6)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (8)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (5)
8. MIAMI DOLPHINS (10)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
10. DALLAS COWBOYS (7)
11. BALTIMORE RAVENS (12)
12. CINCINNATI BENGALS (14)
13. DENVER BRONCOS (15)
14. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (13)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (11)
16. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
17. NEW YORK JETS (20)
18. TAMPA BAY BUCS (16)
19. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
20. HOUSTON TEXANS (21)
21. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (19)
22. CHICAGO BEARS (23)
23. BUFFALO BILLS (26)
24. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (22)
25. DETROIT LIONS (29)
26. CLEVELAND BROWNS (24)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (25)
28. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (30)
29. OAKLAND RAIDERS (28)
30. ARIZONA CARDINALS (27)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
After Week 13
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (3)
3. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4)
4. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
5. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (6)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (8)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (5)
8. MIAMI DOLPHINS (10)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
10. DALLAS COWBOYS (7)
11. BALTIMORE RAVENS (12)
12. CINCINNATI BENGALS (14)
13. DENVER BRONCOS (15)
14. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (13)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (11)
16. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
17. NEW YORK JETS (20)
18. TAMPA BAY BUCS (16)
19. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
20. HOUSTON TEXANS (21)
21. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (19)
22. CHICAGO BEARS (23)
23. BUFFALO BILLS (26)
24. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (22)
25. DETROIT LIONS (29)
26. CLEVELAND BROWNS (24)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (25)
28. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (30)
29. OAKLAND RAIDERS (28)
30. ARIZONA CARDINALS (27)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
Monday, December 01, 2003
HANDI-PIKER
It's been said that's it is easier to balance the California state budget than it is tame a wild piker. Well, while Governor Ahhnold and his peops are still working on solving the budget crisis in between sets of bench presses and squats, this Piker is in the process of becoming domesticated. This past weekend, Piker and My Girl took a trip down to the local Lowe's and bought a lawn mower. Piker proceeded to put the machine together and mow his first lawn. That's right, Piker had never mowed the lawn before. To be fair, Piker never once saw his Dad mow a lawn either and therefore was never taught how to mow a lawn. And then, in college, while pledging a predominantly Jewish fraternity, Piker sat back with the rest of his pledge class and watched as the ultra-hardworking non-Jew mowed the front lawn of the fraternity house with a full-length cast on his broken leg. But things have changed now. Piker is now in the market for a quality edging-device so the lawn can be done right.
As if that wasn't enough to accomplish in a weekend, Piker sacrificed the first three and half quarters of the Sunday football games -- despite the still-relatively-new access to DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket -- to do some yardwork. And Piker isn't talking about digging up some little holes to plant some pretty flowers or anything. Piker is talking about wielding a sledgehammer to demolish an unwanted concrete pathway running below the porch and to break up a circular brick-walled planter. Piker even borrowed a pry bar from the neighbor and used it to help remove the sidewalk-like pathway. Piker sheared some geraniums and dug up the roots to clear out space for new beautiful things to be planted in its place. Oh, that's right, Piker did some shit this weekend.
Now, Piker is not sure about his, but the whole weekend could have been a reaction to spending the previous week with My Girl, My Girl's Brother, and My Girl's Mom (who was in from out of town and staying with us for the week). That family's extreme work ethic shone a giant spotlight on Piker's slug-like nature. Those one or two readers who do not know Piker personally must be told that Piker essentially has an allergy to work. There are times when Piker swallows a pill akin to Claritin and suffers through a freelance job here and there, but if all work and no play make Johnny a dull boy, let's just say Piker is anything but dull. So, Piker pitched in a bit as My Girl and My Girl's Mom painted the living room, dining room, and kitchen last week while My Girl's Brother took the heavy oak front door off its hinges, stripped all the paint off, filled in some of the wood, sanded it, and prepared it to be varnished. Oh, and My Girl's Brother also used spackle and wood filler to repair the crumbling archway separating our living room and dining room, then painted it. And then he came back yesterday to help us out by removing some bushes, assessing our sprinkler situation, and starting work on installing cable boxes in the wall to hide the wires running all over the house. My Girl's Brother is obviously a nice guy who is very unselfish and enjoys working on houses and stuff. He also happens to own the greatest mutt I've ever met named Tool. Tool is a highly alert animal who listens when you talk to him, has an impressive vocabulary, and obeys his master. Also, Tool prefers the company of humans to other dogs, loves to rip and shred empty cardboard boxes, sleeps under the covers, and has a slightly better work ethic than Piker. In order to avoid any misunderstanding, Piker must clarify a few things. For one, Piker is very appreciative of the generosity, hard work, and pleasant demeanor found in My Girl's Family, greatly admires their collective work ethic, and likes spending time with them. Secondly, Piker actually enjoyed accomplishing so much this weekend. Breaking up a sidewalk and brick wall with a sledgehammer, while tiring, is a lot of fun. And mowing the grass, like watching the Dolphins rout the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day, gave Piker a tremendous feeling of satisfaction and pride.
As I type, hardwood floors are being installed in our living room and dining room, and much more work remains on the house. Piker is determined to continue to defy his suburban Jewish aversion to doing work usually reserved for goyim. Work still remains Piker's least favorite word in the English language (trabajo is Piker's least favorite word in Spanish), however, slowly but surely Piker is learning that a healthy sweat from hard work only serves to enhance the relaxation of watching football, chilling to tunes on the iPod, and playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the PlayStation. It's not so much that Piker is changing his nature, so much as it is Piker maturing a bit and becoming a real adult.
It's been said that's it is easier to balance the California state budget than it is tame a wild piker. Well, while Governor Ahhnold and his peops are still working on solving the budget crisis in between sets of bench presses and squats, this Piker is in the process of becoming domesticated. This past weekend, Piker and My Girl took a trip down to the local Lowe's and bought a lawn mower. Piker proceeded to put the machine together and mow his first lawn. That's right, Piker had never mowed the lawn before. To be fair, Piker never once saw his Dad mow a lawn either and therefore was never taught how to mow a lawn. And then, in college, while pledging a predominantly Jewish fraternity, Piker sat back with the rest of his pledge class and watched as the ultra-hardworking non-Jew mowed the front lawn of the fraternity house with a full-length cast on his broken leg. But things have changed now. Piker is now in the market for a quality edging-device so the lawn can be done right.
As if that wasn't enough to accomplish in a weekend, Piker sacrificed the first three and half quarters of the Sunday football games -- despite the still-relatively-new access to DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket -- to do some yardwork. And Piker isn't talking about digging up some little holes to plant some pretty flowers or anything. Piker is talking about wielding a sledgehammer to demolish an unwanted concrete pathway running below the porch and to break up a circular brick-walled planter. Piker even borrowed a pry bar from the neighbor and used it to help remove the sidewalk-like pathway. Piker sheared some geraniums and dug up the roots to clear out space for new beautiful things to be planted in its place. Oh, that's right, Piker did some shit this weekend.
Now, Piker is not sure about his, but the whole weekend could have been a reaction to spending the previous week with My Girl, My Girl's Brother, and My Girl's Mom (who was in from out of town and staying with us for the week). That family's extreme work ethic shone a giant spotlight on Piker's slug-like nature. Those one or two readers who do not know Piker personally must be told that Piker essentially has an allergy to work. There are times when Piker swallows a pill akin to Claritin and suffers through a freelance job here and there, but if all work and no play make Johnny a dull boy, let's just say Piker is anything but dull. So, Piker pitched in a bit as My Girl and My Girl's Mom painted the living room, dining room, and kitchen last week while My Girl's Brother took the heavy oak front door off its hinges, stripped all the paint off, filled in some of the wood, sanded it, and prepared it to be varnished. Oh, and My Girl's Brother also used spackle and wood filler to repair the crumbling archway separating our living room and dining room, then painted it. And then he came back yesterday to help us out by removing some bushes, assessing our sprinkler situation, and starting work on installing cable boxes in the wall to hide the wires running all over the house. My Girl's Brother is obviously a nice guy who is very unselfish and enjoys working on houses and stuff. He also happens to own the greatest mutt I've ever met named Tool. Tool is a highly alert animal who listens when you talk to him, has an impressive vocabulary, and obeys his master. Also, Tool prefers the company of humans to other dogs, loves to rip and shred empty cardboard boxes, sleeps under the covers, and has a slightly better work ethic than Piker. In order to avoid any misunderstanding, Piker must clarify a few things. For one, Piker is very appreciative of the generosity, hard work, and pleasant demeanor found in My Girl's Family, greatly admires their collective work ethic, and likes spending time with them. Secondly, Piker actually enjoyed accomplishing so much this weekend. Breaking up a sidewalk and brick wall with a sledgehammer, while tiring, is a lot of fun. And mowing the grass, like watching the Dolphins rout the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day, gave Piker a tremendous feeling of satisfaction and pride.
As I type, hardwood floors are being installed in our living room and dining room, and much more work remains on the house. Piker is determined to continue to defy his suburban Jewish aversion to doing work usually reserved for goyim. Work still remains Piker's least favorite word in the English language (trabajo is Piker's least favorite word in Spanish), however, slowly but surely Piker is learning that a healthy sweat from hard work only serves to enhance the relaxation of watching football, chilling to tunes on the iPod, and playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the PlayStation. It's not so much that Piker is changing his nature, so much as it is Piker maturing a bit and becoming a real adult.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
PIKER'S POLITICAL POWER RANKINGS
Democratic Candidates for President
1. Howard Dean
2. General Wesley K. Clark
3. Representative Dick Gephardt
4. Senator John Kerry
5. Senator John Edwards
6. Reverend Al Sharpton
7. Carol Moseley Braun
8. Senator Joe Lieberman
9. Representative Dennis Kucinich
PIKER'S PERSONAL FAVORITES
1. General Wesley K. Clark
2. Howard Dean
3. Senator John Edwards
4. Reverend Al Sharpton
5. Carol Moseley Braun
6. Senator Joe Lieberman
7. Representative Dennis Kucinich
8. Representative Dick Gephardt
9. Senator John Kerry
Democratic Candidates for President
1. Howard Dean
2. General Wesley K. Clark
3. Representative Dick Gephardt
4. Senator John Kerry
5. Senator John Edwards
6. Reverend Al Sharpton
7. Carol Moseley Braun
8. Senator Joe Lieberman
9. Representative Dennis Kucinich
PIKER'S PERSONAL FAVORITES
1. General Wesley K. Clark
2. Howard Dean
3. Senator John Edwards
4. Reverend Al Sharpton
5. Carol Moseley Braun
6. Senator Joe Lieberman
7. Representative Dennis Kucinich
8. Representative Dick Gephardt
9. Senator John Kerry