PIKER PICKS: WEEK 16
12/20 1:30 PM ET
Atlanta
TAMPA BAY -8.5
12/20 5:00 PM ET
Kansas City -3
MINNESOTA
12/20 8:30 PM ET
New England -3
N.Y. JETS
12/21 1:00 PM ET
Miami
BUFFALO -2
Baltimore -3
CLEVELAND
Washington
CHICAGO -4.5
Cincinnati
ST. LOUIS -7
Detroit
CAROLINA -9
New Orleans
JACKSONVILLE -2
N.Y. Giants
DALLAS -10.5
Tennessee -6
HOUSTON
12/21 4:05 PM ET
San Diego
PITTSBURGH -6
San Francisco
PHILADELPHIA -7.5
Arizona
SEATTLE -14
12/21 8:30 PM ET
Denver
INDIANAPOLIS -5
12/22 9:00 PM ET
Green Bay -4.5
OAKLAND
Saturday, December 20, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 15 RESULTS
For the third straight week, Piker prognosticated on his own, and for the third straight week Piker achieved a 10-6 record. Consistent, if unspectacular. The season mark currently stands at 108-92-8. After sitting out Week 1 with a variety of disorganization and psychosomatic injuries, Piker is shooting for a 130-win season, while attempting to keep losses under 100. Those are pretty lofty goals and in all likelihood Piker will probably fall short. Just like Piker's beloved (and behated) Miami Dolphins. The December descent has struck the warm-weather Dolphins once again and it is now highly doubtful they'll be receiving an invitation to the NFL's Playoff Party. In all honesty, they don't deserve it. Underachievers need scapegoats. Count Piker among the humidity-laden fair-weather fans of South Florida in calling for the extra large head of one Dave Wannstedt. And as much as Piker enjoys the fact that his favorite football team is quarterbacked by a Long Island Jew who attended the same high school as Piker's mother, Piker knows in his pigskin heart that the Dolphins will never contend for a Super Bowl title with Jay Fiedler at the helm. While we're playing the blame game... Norv Turner has done an awful job calling plays this season, failing to take advantage of his best offensive player. Why he's not buying into Run, Ricky, Run and insisting on finding creative ways to get Ricky the ball in the open field is a baffling mystery to me. In addition, the 'Phins desperately need to upgrade an undersized and undertalented offensive line and acquire a defensive philosophy that utilizes their team speed and great athletes to cause problems for opposing offenses. With all of these lingering issues, the Dolphins just aren't good enough to beat the better teams in the league. Piker is sick and tired of getting fooled into thinking otherwise by their early season performances year in and year out. Wannstedt Must Walk and Ricky Must Run.
For the third straight week, Piker prognosticated on his own, and for the third straight week Piker achieved a 10-6 record. Consistent, if unspectacular. The season mark currently stands at 108-92-8. After sitting out Week 1 with a variety of disorganization and psychosomatic injuries, Piker is shooting for a 130-win season, while attempting to keep losses under 100. Those are pretty lofty goals and in all likelihood Piker will probably fall short. Just like Piker's beloved (and behated) Miami Dolphins. The December descent has struck the warm-weather Dolphins once again and it is now highly doubtful they'll be receiving an invitation to the NFL's Playoff Party. In all honesty, they don't deserve it. Underachievers need scapegoats. Count Piker among the humidity-laden fair-weather fans of South Florida in calling for the extra large head of one Dave Wannstedt. And as much as Piker enjoys the fact that his favorite football team is quarterbacked by a Long Island Jew who attended the same high school as Piker's mother, Piker knows in his pigskin heart that the Dolphins will never contend for a Super Bowl title with Jay Fiedler at the helm. While we're playing the blame game... Norv Turner has done an awful job calling plays this season, failing to take advantage of his best offensive player. Why he's not buying into Run, Ricky, Run and insisting on finding creative ways to get Ricky the ball in the open field is a baffling mystery to me. In addition, the 'Phins desperately need to upgrade an undersized and undertalented offensive line and acquire a defensive philosophy that utilizes their team speed and great athletes to cause problems for opposing offenses. With all of these lingering issues, the Dolphins just aren't good enough to beat the better teams in the league. Piker is sick and tired of getting fooled into thinking otherwise by their early season performances year in and year out. Wannstedt Must Walk and Ricky Must Run.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
"I AM A GOLDEN GOD"
The 2003 Golden Globe Nominations are out. As the loyalist of loyal Piker enthusiasts know, Piker loves to handicap the Oscars. I'm not sure why this is a favorite pastime, but it is. So, in that spirit, before I make my preliminary predictions, you can check out the full list of nominees and catch up on David Poland's Oscar Rankings.
PIKER'S EARLY OSCAR PREDICTIONS
BEST PICTURE
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. In America
Snub: Lost in Translation
BEST DIRECTOR
1. Peter Jackson - LOTR: Return of the King
2. Anthony Minghella - Cold Mountain
3. Clint Eastwood - Mystic River
4. Jim Sheridan - In America
5. Peter Weir - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Snub: Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation
BEST ACTOR
1. Sean Penn - Mystic River
2. Ben Kingsley - House of Sand and Fog
3. Jude Law - Cold Mountain
4. Russell Crowe - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Snubs: Tom Cruise - The Last Samurai, Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean
BEST ACTRESS
1. Charlize Theron - Monster
2. Nicole Kidman - Cold Mountain
3. Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
4. Samantha Morton - In America
5. Gwyneth Paltrow - Sylvia
Snubs: Jennifer Connelly - House of Sand and Fog, Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1. Benecio Del Toro - 21 Grams
2. Ken Watanabe - The Last Samurai
3. Tim Robbins - Mystic River
4. Albert Finney - Big Fish
5. Alec Baldwin - The Cooler
Snubs: Sean Astin, Sir Ian McKellan - LOTR: Return of the King, Djimon Honsou - In America
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1. Scarlet Johansson - Lost in Translation
2. Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain
3. Marcia Gay Harden - Mystic River
4. Holly Hunter - Thirteen
5. Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
Snub: Hope Davis - American Splendor
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Big Fish
Snubs: American Splendor, House of Sand and Fog
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
1. Lost in Translation
2. In America
3. 21 Grams
4. Love Actually
5. Dirty Pretty Things
Snub: The Last Samurai
All right, that's about all the juice I've got right now. It's late (at least on East Coast time it is) and I've got a big giant day tomorrow. Real quick -- I think Lord of the Rings: Return of the King will win Best Picture and Peter Jackson will win Best Director, I'll go with Poland's Picks of Sean Penn for Best Actor and Charlize Theron for Best Actress, Albert Finney for Best Supporting Actor and Scarlett Johansson for Best Supporting Actress, Lord of the Rings for Best Adapted and Lost in Translation for Best Original Screenplay. This year will feature three Belles of the Ball: Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and Sofia Coppola, but only one King: Peter Jackson.
I think it's possible I might be starting to get a wee bit amped.
The 2003 Golden Globe Nominations are out. As the loyalist of loyal Piker enthusiasts know, Piker loves to handicap the Oscars. I'm not sure why this is a favorite pastime, but it is. So, in that spirit, before I make my preliminary predictions, you can check out the full list of nominees and catch up on David Poland's Oscar Rankings.
PIKER'S EARLY OSCAR PREDICTIONS
BEST PICTURE
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. In America
Snub: Lost in Translation
BEST DIRECTOR
1. Peter Jackson - LOTR: Return of the King
2. Anthony Minghella - Cold Mountain
3. Clint Eastwood - Mystic River
4. Jim Sheridan - In America
5. Peter Weir - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Snub: Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation
BEST ACTOR
1. Sean Penn - Mystic River
2. Ben Kingsley - House of Sand and Fog
3. Jude Law - Cold Mountain
4. Russell Crowe - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Snubs: Tom Cruise - The Last Samurai, Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean
BEST ACTRESS
1. Charlize Theron - Monster
2. Nicole Kidman - Cold Mountain
3. Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
4. Samantha Morton - In America
5. Gwyneth Paltrow - Sylvia
Snubs: Jennifer Connelly - House of Sand and Fog, Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1. Benecio Del Toro - 21 Grams
2. Ken Watanabe - The Last Samurai
3. Tim Robbins - Mystic River
4. Albert Finney - Big Fish
5. Alec Baldwin - The Cooler
Snubs: Sean Astin, Sir Ian McKellan - LOTR: Return of the King, Djimon Honsou - In America
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1. Scarlet Johansson - Lost in Translation
2. Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain
3. Marcia Gay Harden - Mystic River
4. Holly Hunter - Thirteen
5. Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
Snub: Hope Davis - American Splendor
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2. Cold Mountain
3. Mystic River
4. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
5. Big Fish
Snubs: American Splendor, House of Sand and Fog
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
1. Lost in Translation
2. In America
3. 21 Grams
4. Love Actually
5. Dirty Pretty Things
Snub: The Last Samurai
All right, that's about all the juice I've got right now. It's late (at least on East Coast time it is) and I've got a big giant day tomorrow. Real quick -- I think Lord of the Rings: Return of the King will win Best Picture and Peter Jackson will win Best Director, I'll go with Poland's Picks of Sean Penn for Best Actor and Charlize Theron for Best Actress, Albert Finney for Best Supporting Actor and Scarlett Johansson for Best Supporting Actress, Lord of the Rings for Best Adapted and Lost in Translation for Best Original Screenplay. This year will feature three Belles of the Ball: Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and Sofia Coppola, but only one King: Peter Jackson.
I think it's possible I might be starting to get a wee bit amped.
IN THROUGH THE OUT DOOR
Right now, I'm not sure if I'm coming or going. The long and short of it:
Spent a whirlwind weekend in San Francisco, flew back to Los Angeles on Sunday night to have people over for the Survivor Finale, started work on Will & Grace on Monday and Tuesday, then flew to Durham, North Carolina on Wednesday for the holidays.
SAN FRANCISCO
Flew out of Burbank on Southwest, which I must say was an all-around hassle-free trip. Rented a car and drove into the city to eat some phenomenal Chinese food at Brandy Ho's. Checked into the Fairmont Hotel, courtesy of Salon, who was flying My Girl up so she can attend the their Holiday Party. So, attend we did. The affair was held at a swank apartment in Alta Plaza, next to Pacific Heights. Great view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge, beautful and tasteful Asian art all over the apartment, a few decent trays of hors d'oeuvres, and some truly interesting and fun people. The party was winding down kind of early, way before the people were actually winding down, so My Girl and I held an impromptu after-party in our hotel room at the Fairmont. And we partied like Internet rock stars. One would have thought it was the halcyon days of 1999, what with all the gusto and fervor with which we threw down. David Talbot, the CEO and an honorable gentleman and scholar to boot, insisted we stay at the Fairmont for the entire weekend, but My Girl would have nothing of it. Instead, we checked out and drove to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment in an industrial building off Divisidero. Needless to say, Our Fantastic Friend is a fantastic guy with fantastic friends who always treats us with the utmost hospitailty. I mean, the guy gives up his bed for us when we come to town... A real mensch, which incidentally was a recent answer in the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle. And so Our Fantastic Friend introduced us to his Fantastic Friends and took us to an art opening, a hip-hop party in Oakland, a party at an old school bar that triple-booked parties that night (including a Santa Party and a Hat Party), and a late-night party in Bernall Heights (which didn't end until we took a cab back to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment at 5:30 in the morning). We slept a couple of hours and then caught an 11:30 am flight back to Burbank.
Backtracking slightly -- We also managed to have dinner with another couple whose wedding we attended last year in Marin County. Their first baby is due to arrive any minute. And we spent some quality time with one of my good friends from LA who relocated to Pacific Heights and is now married to a helluva guy, who I met for the first time, and has the most gorgeous and special eight and half-month old baby girl named India. They're teaching her sign language and trying at all costs to avoid ever having to say the word "no" to her. I love that.
SURVIVOR
I'm so glad Johnny Fuckhead nee Fair Play didn't win. I hate that guy. I know he wanted me to hate him, but that only adds to the overall amount that I hate him. I'm glad Sandra won. Out of all the yahoos left, Sanda was by far the most likable. Besides aligning with Rupert, Sandra didn't seem to play the game all that well, but judging by recent winners, you really don't have to. In fact, if you win too many challenges, you get voted out in the middle somewhere, and if you scheme too much, you make it to the final three before getting voted out. I have to admit I'm kind of psyched for the all-star edition.
WILL & GRACE
I finally got a job on a hit show. It's like a foreign world to me. Things run so smoothly. The writers are efficient and, with the exception of show night, don't work past 7:30. The actors are talented and hit their lines and have fun doing it. The stories work, the scenes work, and the jokes work. The director is great, the crew is great, and the show has money to spend and is generous with it. I had the misfortune of starting work when the holiday gift-giving was full on and everyone was getting piles of presents except me. Not that I thought I deserved gifts after working on the show for a couple of hours, but it's weird when everyone is cashing in and you're left out in the cold. However, I did get to enjoy one gift. Megan treated the people on the show to a taco truck on Tuesday and hired a mariachi band to play during lunch. I had the surreal feeling that this is the kind of stuff I had been missing all these years working on first-year sitcoms that never got out of the gate. Looks like I'll be having myself some fun on this show, and I won't have to give up my social life to do so.
DURHAM
Well, we're home for the holidays. My Girl's Home, actually. We flew in Wednesday night, getting picked up by Super Shuttle at our house in Eagle Rock at 9:30 am PST and arriving at Raleigh/Durham at 10:30 EST. Long, long day. But, I really like My Girl's Family a lot and they're extremely welcoming to me, so there isn't any weirdness. In fact, Babs (My Mom) and Norms (My Gram) are flying up tomorrow to spend the weekend here and meet My Girl's Fam. All parties involved are very easy to get along with, so I'm sure everything will go swimmingly. This holiday break, besides hanging out with My Girl and our families, I plan to do an immense amount of reading, movie viewing, and PlayStation 2 playing. Maybe I'll squeeze in a little shopping and perhaps, if the gods smile on me, some writing while I'm at.
In case this is my last post of the year, (I'm not saying it will be, but just in case), I want to thank the six of you for your loyal readership and wish all of you pikers a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Damn Good New Year.
Peace. We out.
Right now, I'm not sure if I'm coming or going. The long and short of it:
Spent a whirlwind weekend in San Francisco, flew back to Los Angeles on Sunday night to have people over for the Survivor Finale, started work on Will & Grace on Monday and Tuesday, then flew to Durham, North Carolina on Wednesday for the holidays.
SAN FRANCISCO
Flew out of Burbank on Southwest, which I must say was an all-around hassle-free trip. Rented a car and drove into the city to eat some phenomenal Chinese food at Brandy Ho's. Checked into the Fairmont Hotel, courtesy of Salon, who was flying My Girl up so she can attend the their Holiday Party. So, attend we did. The affair was held at a swank apartment in Alta Plaza, next to Pacific Heights. Great view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge, beautful and tasteful Asian art all over the apartment, a few decent trays of hors d'oeuvres, and some truly interesting and fun people. The party was winding down kind of early, way before the people were actually winding down, so My Girl and I held an impromptu after-party in our hotel room at the Fairmont. And we partied like Internet rock stars. One would have thought it was the halcyon days of 1999, what with all the gusto and fervor with which we threw down. David Talbot, the CEO and an honorable gentleman and scholar to boot, insisted we stay at the Fairmont for the entire weekend, but My Girl would have nothing of it. Instead, we checked out and drove to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment in an industrial building off Divisidero. Needless to say, Our Fantastic Friend is a fantastic guy with fantastic friends who always treats us with the utmost hospitailty. I mean, the guy gives up his bed for us when we come to town... A real mensch, which incidentally was a recent answer in the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle. And so Our Fantastic Friend introduced us to his Fantastic Friends and took us to an art opening, a hip-hop party in Oakland, a party at an old school bar that triple-booked parties that night (including a Santa Party and a Hat Party), and a late-night party in Bernall Heights (which didn't end until we took a cab back to Our Fantastic Friend's fantastic apartment at 5:30 in the morning). We slept a couple of hours and then caught an 11:30 am flight back to Burbank.
Backtracking slightly -- We also managed to have dinner with another couple whose wedding we attended last year in Marin County. Their first baby is due to arrive any minute. And we spent some quality time with one of my good friends from LA who relocated to Pacific Heights and is now married to a helluva guy, who I met for the first time, and has the most gorgeous and special eight and half-month old baby girl named India. They're teaching her sign language and trying at all costs to avoid ever having to say the word "no" to her. I love that.
SURVIVOR
I'm so glad Johnny Fuckhead nee Fair Play didn't win. I hate that guy. I know he wanted me to hate him, but that only adds to the overall amount that I hate him. I'm glad Sandra won. Out of all the yahoos left, Sanda was by far the most likable. Besides aligning with Rupert, Sandra didn't seem to play the game all that well, but judging by recent winners, you really don't have to. In fact, if you win too many challenges, you get voted out in the middle somewhere, and if you scheme too much, you make it to the final three before getting voted out. I have to admit I'm kind of psyched for the all-star edition.
WILL & GRACE
I finally got a job on a hit show. It's like a foreign world to me. Things run so smoothly. The writers are efficient and, with the exception of show night, don't work past 7:30. The actors are talented and hit their lines and have fun doing it. The stories work, the scenes work, and the jokes work. The director is great, the crew is great, and the show has money to spend and is generous with it. I had the misfortune of starting work when the holiday gift-giving was full on and everyone was getting piles of presents except me. Not that I thought I deserved gifts after working on the show for a couple of hours, but it's weird when everyone is cashing in and you're left out in the cold. However, I did get to enjoy one gift. Megan treated the people on the show to a taco truck on Tuesday and hired a mariachi band to play during lunch. I had the surreal feeling that this is the kind of stuff I had been missing all these years working on first-year sitcoms that never got out of the gate. Looks like I'll be having myself some fun on this show, and I won't have to give up my social life to do so.
DURHAM
Well, we're home for the holidays. My Girl's Home, actually. We flew in Wednesday night, getting picked up by Super Shuttle at our house in Eagle Rock at 9:30 am PST and arriving at Raleigh/Durham at 10:30 EST. Long, long day. But, I really like My Girl's Family a lot and they're extremely welcoming to me, so there isn't any weirdness. In fact, Babs (My Mom) and Norms (My Gram) are flying up tomorrow to spend the weekend here and meet My Girl's Fam. All parties involved are very easy to get along with, so I'm sure everything will go swimmingly. This holiday break, besides hanging out with My Girl and our families, I plan to do an immense amount of reading, movie viewing, and PlayStation 2 playing. Maybe I'll squeeze in a little shopping and perhaps, if the gods smile on me, some writing while I'm at.
In case this is my last post of the year, (I'm not saying it will be, but just in case), I want to thank the six of you for your loyal readership and wish all of you pikers a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Damn Good New Year.
Peace. We out.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 15
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/14 1:00 PM ET
Minnesota -1.5
CHICAGO
San Francisco
CINCINNATI -2.5
Atlanta
INDIANAPOLIS -7.5
Detroit
KANSAS CITY -14
Jacksonville
NEW ENGLAND -7
Pittsburgh
N.Y. JETS -3
Seattle
ST. LOUIS -7
Houston
TAMPA BAY -6.5
Buffalo
TENNESSEE -6.5
12/14 4:05 ET
Cleveland
DENVER -10.5
Baltimore
OAKLAND -6.5
Dallas
WASHINGTON Pick 'em
Carolina -6.5
ARIZONA
Green Bay -5
SAN DIEGO
12/14 8:30 PM ET
N.Y. Giants
NEW ORLEANS -7
12/15 9:00 PM ET
Philadelphia
MIAMI -1.5
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/14 1:00 PM ET
Minnesota -1.5
CHICAGO
San Francisco
CINCINNATI -2.5
Atlanta
INDIANAPOLIS -7.5
Detroit
KANSAS CITY -14
Jacksonville
NEW ENGLAND -7
Pittsburgh
N.Y. JETS -3
Seattle
ST. LOUIS -7
Houston
TAMPA BAY -6.5
Buffalo
TENNESSEE -6.5
12/14 4:05 ET
Cleveland
DENVER -10.5
Baltimore
OAKLAND -6.5
Dallas
WASHINGTON Pick 'em
Carolina -6.5
ARIZONA
Green Bay -5
SAN DIEGO
12/14 8:30 PM ET
N.Y. Giants
NEW ORLEANS -7
12/15 9:00 PM ET
Philadelphia
MIAMI -1.5
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 14 RESULTS
Late at night. Flying out in the morning. Piker not have much time to type.
Piker not happy about Dolphin game. Piker not feel good about Jay Fiedler right now. Piker not pleased with offensive line.
PIker not shocked by anything in Week 14. Piker kind of surprised about Denver over K.C. and Indy over Tennessee.
Piker go 10-6 in Week 14. Piker overall record for the year now 98-86-8.
WON: Baltimore, San Diego, Green Bay, Washington, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, New England, Atlanta, St. Louis
LOST: Houston, Seattle, New Orleans, Tennessee, N.Y. Jets, Kansas City
Late at night. Flying out in the morning. Piker not have much time to type.
Piker not happy about Dolphin game. Piker not feel good about Jay Fiedler right now. Piker not pleased with offensive line.
PIker not shocked by anything in Week 14. Piker kind of surprised about Denver over K.C. and Indy over Tennessee.
Piker go 10-6 in Week 14. Piker overall record for the year now 98-86-8.
WON: Baltimore, San Diego, Green Bay, Washington, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, New England, Atlanta, St. Louis
LOST: Houston, Seattle, New Orleans, Tennessee, N.Y. Jets, Kansas City
PIKER POWER RANKINGS
After Week 14
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (2)
2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3)
3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
4. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (5)
5. TENNESSEE TITANS (4)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (6)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (7)
8. DENVER BRONCOS (13)
9. MIAMI DOLPHINS (8)
10. BALTIMORE RAVENS (11)
11. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (14)
12. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
13. DALLAS COWBOYS (10)
14. CINCINNATI BENGALS (12)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)
16. TAMPA BAY BUCS (18)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (19)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (16)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (21)
20. BUFFALO BILLS (23)
21. NEW YORK JETS (17)
22. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (24)
23. CHICAGO BEARS (22)
24. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (28)
25. HOUSTON TEXANS (20)
26. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (27)
28. CLEVELAND BROWNS (26)
29. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
30. DETROIT LIONS (25)
31. OAKLAND RAIDERS (29)
32. ARIZONA CARDINALS (30)
After Week 14
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (2)
2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3)
3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
4. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (5)
5. TENNESSEE TITANS (4)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (6)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (7)
8. DENVER BRONCOS (13)
9. MIAMI DOLPHINS (8)
10. BALTIMORE RAVENS (11)
11. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (14)
12. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
13. DALLAS COWBOYS (10)
14. CINCINNATI BENGALS (12)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)
16. TAMPA BAY BUCS (18)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (19)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (16)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (21)
20. BUFFALO BILLS (23)
21. NEW YORK JETS (17)
22. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (24)
23. CHICAGO BEARS (22)
24. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (28)
25. HOUSTON TEXANS (20)
26. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (27)
28. CLEVELAND BROWNS (26)
29. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
30. DETROIT LIONS (25)
31. OAKLAND RAIDERS (29)
32. ARIZONA CARDINALS (30)
Friday, December 05, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 14
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/7 1:00 PM ET
(7-5) Cincinnati
(7-5) BALTIMORE -3.5
(2-10) San Diego
(4-8) DETROIT -3
(5-7) Chicago
(6-6) GREEN BAY -7
(5-7) Houston
(3-9) JACKSONVILLE -6
(8-4) Seattle
(7-5) MINNESOTA -1.5
(5-7) Tampa Bay
(6-6) NEW ORLEANS -2
(4-8) Washington
(4-8) N.Y. GIANTS -3
(8-4) Dallas
(9-3) PHILADELPHIA -5.5
(3-9) Oakland
(4-8) PITTSBURGH -5.5
(9-3) Indianapolis
(9-3) TENNESSEE -3.5
12/7 4:15 PM ET
(3-9) Arizona
(5-7) SAN FRANCISCO -10
(5-7) N.Y. Jets
(5-7) BUFFALO -3
(11-1) Kansas City
(7-5) DENVER -2.5
(8-4) Miami
(10-2) NEW ENGLAND -3
12/7 8:30 PM ET
(8-4) Carolina -1
(2-10) ATLANTA
12/8 9:00 PM ET
(9-3) St. Louis -4.5
(4-8) CLEVELAND
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
12/7 1:00 PM ET
(7-5) Cincinnati
(7-5) BALTIMORE -3.5
(2-10) San Diego
(4-8) DETROIT -3
(5-7) Chicago
(6-6) GREEN BAY -7
(5-7) Houston
(3-9) JACKSONVILLE -6
(8-4) Seattle
(7-5) MINNESOTA -1.5
(5-7) Tampa Bay
(6-6) NEW ORLEANS -2
(4-8) Washington
(4-8) N.Y. GIANTS -3
(8-4) Dallas
(9-3) PHILADELPHIA -5.5
(3-9) Oakland
(4-8) PITTSBURGH -5.5
(9-3) Indianapolis
(9-3) TENNESSEE -3.5
12/7 4:15 PM ET
(3-9) Arizona
(5-7) SAN FRANCISCO -10
(5-7) N.Y. Jets
(5-7) BUFFALO -3
(11-1) Kansas City
(7-5) DENVER -2.5
(8-4) Miami
(10-2) NEW ENGLAND -3
12/7 8:30 PM ET
(8-4) Carolina -1
(2-10) ATLANTA
12/8 9:00 PM ET
(9-3) St. Louis -4.5
(4-8) CLEVELAND
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 13 RESULTS
The dust cleared and started to settle in Week 13 of the NFL season. Team records now serve as a solid indicator of how good these teams actually are and how good they can be. Not too many surprises this past weekend. Jacksonville beating Tampa Bay on Sunday night was an upset, but it was one that you felt coming. Tampa is lost and so is their season. Byron Leftwich is a stud and will be an NFL star for a long time. The Jets upsetting the Titans on Monday night was another mild surprise, considering the Titans were bound to lose a game somewhere along the line and the Jets have gotten a lot better since Chad Pennington returned from injury. Other than that, you had the Thanksgiving Day games -- the Lions are always unpredictable and scary on T-Giving and the Packers should have been better prepared, and the Dolphins played their best game of the season in exposing the Cowboys as a team that probably won't get very far in the playoffs, should they make it.
The 'Phins victory was the giddiest romp the Dol-Phans have had to cheer about in quite some time and marks the easiest win they've had all year. Now it's December and everyone's just waiting for the football men from South Florida to freeze up and choke again. The D has to hold fast, Fiedler's gotta stay hot, and Ricky's gotta keep running. Oh, and I told you Chris Chambers was a breakout wideout waiting to happen.
Steve Spurrier is in trouble. After losing to the Saints at home, the Redskins fell to 4-8 and sealed a .500 or worse season. Either the team isn't buying into the former Florida Gator coach's methods, or Spurrier's personality is just not suitable to impose on an NFL franchise. Despite the fact that I hate the Redskins, I still can't help rooting for the old ball coach.
All of a sudden the Ravens have an offense. Alexander Wright is playing pretty well and that team is catching fire at the right time. Meanwhile, the Eagles have been streaking along and came up with a big win at Carolina. If they beat Dallas this weekend, which they should, Philly will be considered the favorite coming out of the NFC. But then there are the Rams -- They're back...
WON: Detroit, Miami, Baltimore, Chicago, Houston, New England, Cincinnati, St. Louis, Seattle, N.Y. Jets
LOST: Carolina, N.Y. Giants, Washington, Oakland, Kansas City, Tampa Bay
Piker picked on his own last week and pulled out the best numbers in recent weeks. 10-6 for the week and should have been 11-5, if not for that meaningless very last second of the game touchdown fucking Flutie threw to cover the spread against the Chiefs. Fucking Flutie...
After the 10-6 Week 13, the season total is all crazy eights: 88-80-8.
The dust cleared and started to settle in Week 13 of the NFL season. Team records now serve as a solid indicator of how good these teams actually are and how good they can be. Not too many surprises this past weekend. Jacksonville beating Tampa Bay on Sunday night was an upset, but it was one that you felt coming. Tampa is lost and so is their season. Byron Leftwich is a stud and will be an NFL star for a long time. The Jets upsetting the Titans on Monday night was another mild surprise, considering the Titans were bound to lose a game somewhere along the line and the Jets have gotten a lot better since Chad Pennington returned from injury. Other than that, you had the Thanksgiving Day games -- the Lions are always unpredictable and scary on T-Giving and the Packers should have been better prepared, and the Dolphins played their best game of the season in exposing the Cowboys as a team that probably won't get very far in the playoffs, should they make it.
The 'Phins victory was the giddiest romp the Dol-Phans have had to cheer about in quite some time and marks the easiest win they've had all year. Now it's December and everyone's just waiting for the football men from South Florida to freeze up and choke again. The D has to hold fast, Fiedler's gotta stay hot, and Ricky's gotta keep running. Oh, and I told you Chris Chambers was a breakout wideout waiting to happen.
Steve Spurrier is in trouble. After losing to the Saints at home, the Redskins fell to 4-8 and sealed a .500 or worse season. Either the team isn't buying into the former Florida Gator coach's methods, or Spurrier's personality is just not suitable to impose on an NFL franchise. Despite the fact that I hate the Redskins, I still can't help rooting for the old ball coach.
All of a sudden the Ravens have an offense. Alexander Wright is playing pretty well and that team is catching fire at the right time. Meanwhile, the Eagles have been streaking along and came up with a big win at Carolina. If they beat Dallas this weekend, which they should, Philly will be considered the favorite coming out of the NFC. But then there are the Rams -- They're back...
WON: Detroit, Miami, Baltimore, Chicago, Houston, New England, Cincinnati, St. Louis, Seattle, N.Y. Jets
LOST: Carolina, N.Y. Giants, Washington, Oakland, Kansas City, Tampa Bay
Piker picked on his own last week and pulled out the best numbers in recent weeks. 10-6 for the week and should have been 11-5, if not for that meaningless very last second of the game touchdown fucking Flutie threw to cover the spread against the Chiefs. Fucking Flutie...
After the 10-6 Week 13, the season total is all crazy eights: 88-80-8.
PIKER POWER RANKINGS
After Week 13
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (3)
3. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4)
4. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
5. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (6)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (8)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (5)
8. MIAMI DOLPHINS (10)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
10. DALLAS COWBOYS (7)
11. BALTIMORE RAVENS (12)
12. CINCINNATI BENGALS (14)
13. DENVER BRONCOS (15)
14. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (13)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (11)
16. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
17. NEW YORK JETS (20)
18. TAMPA BAY BUCS (16)
19. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
20. HOUSTON TEXANS (21)
21. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (19)
22. CHICAGO BEARS (23)
23. BUFFALO BILLS (26)
24. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (22)
25. DETROIT LIONS (29)
26. CLEVELAND BROWNS (24)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (25)
28. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (30)
29. OAKLAND RAIDERS (28)
30. ARIZONA CARDINALS (27)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
After Week 13
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (3)
3. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4)
4. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
5. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (6)
6. ST. LOUIS RAMS (8)
7. CAROLINA PANTHERS (5)
8. MIAMI DOLPHINS (10)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
10. DALLAS COWBOYS (7)
11. BALTIMORE RAVENS (12)
12. CINCINNATI BENGALS (14)
13. DENVER BRONCOS (15)
14. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (13)
15. GREEN BAY PACKERS (11)
16. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
17. NEW YORK JETS (20)
18. TAMPA BAY BUCS (16)
19. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
20. HOUSTON TEXANS (21)
21. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (19)
22. CHICAGO BEARS (23)
23. BUFFALO BILLS (26)
24. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (22)
25. DETROIT LIONS (29)
26. CLEVELAND BROWNS (24)
27. NEW YORK GIANTS (25)
28. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (30)
29. OAKLAND RAIDERS (28)
30. ARIZONA CARDINALS (27)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (32)
Monday, December 01, 2003
HANDI-PIKER
It's been said that's it is easier to balance the California state budget than it is tame a wild piker. Well, while Governor Ahhnold and his peops are still working on solving the budget crisis in between sets of bench presses and squats, this Piker is in the process of becoming domesticated. This past weekend, Piker and My Girl took a trip down to the local Lowe's and bought a lawn mower. Piker proceeded to put the machine together and mow his first lawn. That's right, Piker had never mowed the lawn before. To be fair, Piker never once saw his Dad mow a lawn either and therefore was never taught how to mow a lawn. And then, in college, while pledging a predominantly Jewish fraternity, Piker sat back with the rest of his pledge class and watched as the ultra-hardworking non-Jew mowed the front lawn of the fraternity house with a full-length cast on his broken leg. But things have changed now. Piker is now in the market for a quality edging-device so the lawn can be done right.
As if that wasn't enough to accomplish in a weekend, Piker sacrificed the first three and half quarters of the Sunday football games -- despite the still-relatively-new access to DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket -- to do some yardwork. And Piker isn't talking about digging up some little holes to plant some pretty flowers or anything. Piker is talking about wielding a sledgehammer to demolish an unwanted concrete pathway running below the porch and to break up a circular brick-walled planter. Piker even borrowed a pry bar from the neighbor and used it to help remove the sidewalk-like pathway. Piker sheared some geraniums and dug up the roots to clear out space for new beautiful things to be planted in its place. Oh, that's right, Piker did some shit this weekend.
Now, Piker is not sure about his, but the whole weekend could have been a reaction to spending the previous week with My Girl, My Girl's Brother, and My Girl's Mom (who was in from out of town and staying with us for the week). That family's extreme work ethic shone a giant spotlight on Piker's slug-like nature. Those one or two readers who do not know Piker personally must be told that Piker essentially has an allergy to work. There are times when Piker swallows a pill akin to Claritin and suffers through a freelance job here and there, but if all work and no play make Johnny a dull boy, let's just say Piker is anything but dull. So, Piker pitched in a bit as My Girl and My Girl's Mom painted the living room, dining room, and kitchen last week while My Girl's Brother took the heavy oak front door off its hinges, stripped all the paint off, filled in some of the wood, sanded it, and prepared it to be varnished. Oh, and My Girl's Brother also used spackle and wood filler to repair the crumbling archway separating our living room and dining room, then painted it. And then he came back yesterday to help us out by removing some bushes, assessing our sprinkler situation, and starting work on installing cable boxes in the wall to hide the wires running all over the house. My Girl's Brother is obviously a nice guy who is very unselfish and enjoys working on houses and stuff. He also happens to own the greatest mutt I've ever met named Tool. Tool is a highly alert animal who listens when you talk to him, has an impressive vocabulary, and obeys his master. Also, Tool prefers the company of humans to other dogs, loves to rip and shred empty cardboard boxes, sleeps under the covers, and has a slightly better work ethic than Piker. In order to avoid any misunderstanding, Piker must clarify a few things. For one, Piker is very appreciative of the generosity, hard work, and pleasant demeanor found in My Girl's Family, greatly admires their collective work ethic, and likes spending time with them. Secondly, Piker actually enjoyed accomplishing so much this weekend. Breaking up a sidewalk and brick wall with a sledgehammer, while tiring, is a lot of fun. And mowing the grass, like watching the Dolphins rout the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day, gave Piker a tremendous feeling of satisfaction and pride.
As I type, hardwood floors are being installed in our living room and dining room, and much more work remains on the house. Piker is determined to continue to defy his suburban Jewish aversion to doing work usually reserved for goyim. Work still remains Piker's least favorite word in the English language (trabajo is Piker's least favorite word in Spanish), however, slowly but surely Piker is learning that a healthy sweat from hard work only serves to enhance the relaxation of watching football, chilling to tunes on the iPod, and playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the PlayStation. It's not so much that Piker is changing his nature, so much as it is Piker maturing a bit and becoming a real adult.
It's been said that's it is easier to balance the California state budget than it is tame a wild piker. Well, while Governor Ahhnold and his peops are still working on solving the budget crisis in between sets of bench presses and squats, this Piker is in the process of becoming domesticated. This past weekend, Piker and My Girl took a trip down to the local Lowe's and bought a lawn mower. Piker proceeded to put the machine together and mow his first lawn. That's right, Piker had never mowed the lawn before. To be fair, Piker never once saw his Dad mow a lawn either and therefore was never taught how to mow a lawn. And then, in college, while pledging a predominantly Jewish fraternity, Piker sat back with the rest of his pledge class and watched as the ultra-hardworking non-Jew mowed the front lawn of the fraternity house with a full-length cast on his broken leg. But things have changed now. Piker is now in the market for a quality edging-device so the lawn can be done right.
As if that wasn't enough to accomplish in a weekend, Piker sacrificed the first three and half quarters of the Sunday football games -- despite the still-relatively-new access to DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket -- to do some yardwork. And Piker isn't talking about digging up some little holes to plant some pretty flowers or anything. Piker is talking about wielding a sledgehammer to demolish an unwanted concrete pathway running below the porch and to break up a circular brick-walled planter. Piker even borrowed a pry bar from the neighbor and used it to help remove the sidewalk-like pathway. Piker sheared some geraniums and dug up the roots to clear out space for new beautiful things to be planted in its place. Oh, that's right, Piker did some shit this weekend.
Now, Piker is not sure about his, but the whole weekend could have been a reaction to spending the previous week with My Girl, My Girl's Brother, and My Girl's Mom (who was in from out of town and staying with us for the week). That family's extreme work ethic shone a giant spotlight on Piker's slug-like nature. Those one or two readers who do not know Piker personally must be told that Piker essentially has an allergy to work. There are times when Piker swallows a pill akin to Claritin and suffers through a freelance job here and there, but if all work and no play make Johnny a dull boy, let's just say Piker is anything but dull. So, Piker pitched in a bit as My Girl and My Girl's Mom painted the living room, dining room, and kitchen last week while My Girl's Brother took the heavy oak front door off its hinges, stripped all the paint off, filled in some of the wood, sanded it, and prepared it to be varnished. Oh, and My Girl's Brother also used spackle and wood filler to repair the crumbling archway separating our living room and dining room, then painted it. And then he came back yesterday to help us out by removing some bushes, assessing our sprinkler situation, and starting work on installing cable boxes in the wall to hide the wires running all over the house. My Girl's Brother is obviously a nice guy who is very unselfish and enjoys working on houses and stuff. He also happens to own the greatest mutt I've ever met named Tool. Tool is a highly alert animal who listens when you talk to him, has an impressive vocabulary, and obeys his master. Also, Tool prefers the company of humans to other dogs, loves to rip and shred empty cardboard boxes, sleeps under the covers, and has a slightly better work ethic than Piker. In order to avoid any misunderstanding, Piker must clarify a few things. For one, Piker is very appreciative of the generosity, hard work, and pleasant demeanor found in My Girl's Family, greatly admires their collective work ethic, and likes spending time with them. Secondly, Piker actually enjoyed accomplishing so much this weekend. Breaking up a sidewalk and brick wall with a sledgehammer, while tiring, is a lot of fun. And mowing the grass, like watching the Dolphins rout the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day, gave Piker a tremendous feeling of satisfaction and pride.
As I type, hardwood floors are being installed in our living room and dining room, and much more work remains on the house. Piker is determined to continue to defy his suburban Jewish aversion to doing work usually reserved for goyim. Work still remains Piker's least favorite word in the English language (trabajo is Piker's least favorite word in Spanish), however, slowly but surely Piker is learning that a healthy sweat from hard work only serves to enhance the relaxation of watching football, chilling to tunes on the iPod, and playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the PlayStation. It's not so much that Piker is changing his nature, so much as it is Piker maturing a bit and becoming a real adult.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
PIKER'S POLITICAL POWER RANKINGS
Democratic Candidates for President
1. Howard Dean
2. General Wesley K. Clark
3. Representative Dick Gephardt
4. Senator John Kerry
5. Senator John Edwards
6. Reverend Al Sharpton
7. Carol Moseley Braun
8. Senator Joe Lieberman
9. Representative Dennis Kucinich
PIKER'S PERSONAL FAVORITES
1. General Wesley K. Clark
2. Howard Dean
3. Senator John Edwards
4. Reverend Al Sharpton
5. Carol Moseley Braun
6. Senator Joe Lieberman
7. Representative Dennis Kucinich
8. Representative Dick Gephardt
9. Senator John Kerry
Democratic Candidates for President
1. Howard Dean
2. General Wesley K. Clark
3. Representative Dick Gephardt
4. Senator John Kerry
5. Senator John Edwards
6. Reverend Al Sharpton
7. Carol Moseley Braun
8. Senator Joe Lieberman
9. Representative Dennis Kucinich
PIKER'S PERSONAL FAVORITES
1. General Wesley K. Clark
2. Howard Dean
3. Senator John Edwards
4. Reverend Al Sharpton
5. Carol Moseley Braun
6. Senator Joe Lieberman
7. Representative Dennis Kucinich
8. Representative Dick Gephardt
9. Senator John Kerry
POLITICAL PIKER
Citing deep-seated skepticism and a general distrust for government after watching the news a few times and seeing the movie "JFK," Piker has never kept too close an eye on politics, much preferring any type of sports arena to the political arena. However, Piker has been reading Salon and Slate of late, partially due to a vested interest in the former, but mainly because of a newfound genuine curiosity for politics. It started with the recall election circus and has now segued neatly into the Battle for the White House. Granted, Piker is still a newbie when it comes to this stuff, armed with only a superficial knowledge of the issues and the history of the participants. But, Piker is in the game now and it'll just be a matter of time before the gaps are filled in. As a matter of fact, Piker watched the Democratic Candidates for President debate in Iowa on Monday. Enjoyed it too. The Reverend Al Sharpton was clearly the most entertaining of the group, without coming off like a radical lunatic. I'm not sure the same can be said for Representative Dennis Kucinich though. The debate was lively and spirited and almost all of the candidates had good showings, except Senator Joe Lieberman, who wasn't invited to the debate. Senator John Kerry and Representative Dick Gephardt acted as a tag team in going after frontrunner Howard Dean, but Dean held his own and probably garnered some sympathy from the two-pronged attack. Senator John Edwards was upbeat and positive and left a favorable impression, as did Carol Moseley Braun. But, my favorite candidate remains General Wesley K. Clark. The man makes me feel safe. I want him on that wall. I need him on that wall.
In case you missed it, a full transcript of the debate can be found here. For some insightful and incisive commentary and criticism, visit Slate's henchmen Saletan and Kaus.
Below, you will find the first installment of a brand new segment that Piker hopes to continue right up until the Democratic National Convention. Please be advised that Piker is a piker and doesn't know that much about any of this stuff, but Piker has good instincts and boasts of recognizing the star quality of one Bill Clinton at around this same point in the process back in the day. Take it for what it's worth.
Citing deep-seated skepticism and a general distrust for government after watching the news a few times and seeing the movie "JFK," Piker has never kept too close an eye on politics, much preferring any type of sports arena to the political arena. However, Piker has been reading Salon and Slate of late, partially due to a vested interest in the former, but mainly because of a newfound genuine curiosity for politics. It started with the recall election circus and has now segued neatly into the Battle for the White House. Granted, Piker is still a newbie when it comes to this stuff, armed with only a superficial knowledge of the issues and the history of the participants. But, Piker is in the game now and it'll just be a matter of time before the gaps are filled in. As a matter of fact, Piker watched the Democratic Candidates for President debate in Iowa on Monday. Enjoyed it too. The Reverend Al Sharpton was clearly the most entertaining of the group, without coming off like a radical lunatic. I'm not sure the same can be said for Representative Dennis Kucinich though. The debate was lively and spirited and almost all of the candidates had good showings, except Senator Joe Lieberman, who wasn't invited to the debate. Senator John Kerry and Representative Dick Gephardt acted as a tag team in going after frontrunner Howard Dean, but Dean held his own and probably garnered some sympathy from the two-pronged attack. Senator John Edwards was upbeat and positive and left a favorable impression, as did Carol Moseley Braun. But, my favorite candidate remains General Wesley K. Clark. The man makes me feel safe. I want him on that wall. I need him on that wall.
In case you missed it, a full transcript of the debate can be found here. For some insightful and incisive commentary and criticism, visit Slate's henchmen Saletan and Kaus.
Below, you will find the first installment of a brand new segment that Piker hopes to continue right up until the Democratic National Convention. Please be advised that Piker is a piker and doesn't know that much about any of this stuff, but Piker has good instincts and boasts of recognizing the star quality of one Bill Clinton at around this same point in the process back in the day. Take it for what it's worth.
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 13
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/27 12:30 PM ET
Green Bay -6.5
DETROIT
11/27 4:05 PM ET
Miami
DALLAS -3
11/30 1:00 PM ET
San Francisco
BALTIMORE -3
Philadelphia
CAROLINA -1.5
Arizona
CHICAGO -4.5
Atlanta
HOUSTON -3
New England
INDIANAPOLIS -4
Buffalo
N.Y. GIANTS -3.5
Cincinnati
PITTSBURGH -3
Minnesota
ST. LOUIS -6
11/30 4:05 PM ET
New Orleans
WASHINGTON -1.5
Denver -3
OAKLAND
Kansas City -7
SAN DIEGO
Cleveland
SEATTLE -5.5
11/30 8:30 PM ET
Tampa Bay -3.5
JACKSONVILLE
12/1 9:00 PM ET
Tennessee -1
N.Y. JETS
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/27 12:30 PM ET
Green Bay -6.5
DETROIT
11/27 4:05 PM ET
Miami
DALLAS -3
11/30 1:00 PM ET
San Francisco
BALTIMORE -3
Philadelphia
CAROLINA -1.5
Arizona
CHICAGO -4.5
Atlanta
HOUSTON -3
New England
INDIANAPOLIS -4
Buffalo
N.Y. GIANTS -3.5
Cincinnati
PITTSBURGH -3
Minnesota
ST. LOUIS -6
11/30 4:05 PM ET
New Orleans
WASHINGTON -1.5
Denver -3
OAKLAND
Kansas City -7
SAN DIEGO
Cleveland
SEATTLE -5.5
11/30 8:30 PM ET
Tampa Bay -3.5
JACKSONVILLE
12/1 9:00 PM ET
Tennessee -1
N.Y. JETS
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 12 RESULTS
Well, the Dolphins have my attention again. Not that I stopped following at any point during the season -- they just started to bore me. Brian Griese looked like the savior in his first start as a Dolphin against the Chargers a few weeks ago. Of course, the Chargers can do that to just about anyone. But, since that wildfire game that was played in Tempe instead of San Diego, Griese has proven that he lacks eyes in the back of his head or any kind of instinct for what's going on around him in the pocket. Also, the guy's not the great leader his father was plus he tends to throw a lot of interceptions. For those reasons and others, Jay Fiedler is the guy in Miami. The irony is, the Dolphins probably can't win a Super Bowl with him, but then again, they can't win without him. The Long Island Jew with Dumbo ears came in off the bench and ignited the Dolphin offense, rediscovering stud wideout Chris Chambers, which took some pressure off the not-so-good-at-run-blocking offensive line and allowed Ricky to run, Ricky, run. You know, it seems like the pieces are there for the Dolphins to put some points on the board. Ricky is a phenomenal back, Chambers has the potential to be a superstar receiver, and Randy McMichael is already an outstanding tight end. Yet the Dolphins rarely seem to control the line of scrimmage or make big plays when they need to against good teams. They did on Sunday night against the Redskins and the bastards gave me some hope that they can actually make the playoffs and maybe even win a round before bowing out to the better teams in the AFC.
The AFC playoff picture is, in fact, quite clear at the moment. KC will win the West, New England will win the East, one of Indy or Tennessee will win the South and the other is guaranteed one of the two Wild Card spots, and Baltimore and Cincy will battle it out for the North. The Dolphins should be the other Wild Card. Of course, they are the Dolphins and could still find a way to hand their playoff spot to the Ravens/Bengals loser or the undeserving Broncos. How could the Broncos lose to the Bears in Denver late in the season? Atrocious. Shameful.
The NFC playoff picture is slightly muddier, but not too messy. Carolina will win the South. Minnesota and Green Bay will fight to the finish in the North, with the winner moving on and the loser going home for the holidays. St. Louis looks to have the inside track to take the West, with Seattle earning a Wild Card. And Dallas or Philly will win the East while the other one takes the second Wild Card.
The AFC doesn't even have any longshots at this point. Faint hope remains in the NFC for the defending champion Buccaneers, the Niners, and the Saints. But the odds are slim and none, and slim is heading for the locker room with a high ankle sprain.
As for the Week 12 Picks, Piker has to take his hat off to the oddsmakers. Mid to late season NFL games are out of control and seemingly unpredictable, and yet these Vegas guys are setting spreads with pinpoint accuracy. 7 games this week had final scores within one point of the spread. 7 games! Piker went 3-3-1 in those games. Baltimore covered by a half point, Indy and Buffalo pushed, Carolina was a point short, Minnesota was a half point short after giving up a meaningless touchdown at the end, the Jets were a point short, and both Tennessee and Tampa Bay covered by a half point each. Only four games finished over a touchdown off the spread, and you can really tell the upsets by these numbers -- Cleveland failed to cover by ten points and Denver failed to cover by nineteen and a half points, while Philly covered by an extra seven and a half points and Kansas City failed to cover by eight points. I know this isn't news, but the oddsmakers' proficiency is what makes it so difficult to pick these games. I'm in awe.
WON: Baltimore, Green Bay, Houston, Philadelphia, Arizona, Tennessee, Tampa Bay
LOST: Cleveland, Carolina, Minnesota, N.Y. Jets, Denver, Kansas City, San Diego, Miami
PUSHED: Indianapolis
So, Piker's weekly record was yet again sub-par and sub-.500 at 7-8-1. The season total sits precariously at 78-74-8. If the downward trend continues, Piker may soon have to start dipping into the grocery budget to continue the season-long experiment. But, hey, that's what Pikers do.
Well, the Dolphins have my attention again. Not that I stopped following at any point during the season -- they just started to bore me. Brian Griese looked like the savior in his first start as a Dolphin against the Chargers a few weeks ago. Of course, the Chargers can do that to just about anyone. But, since that wildfire game that was played in Tempe instead of San Diego, Griese has proven that he lacks eyes in the back of his head or any kind of instinct for what's going on around him in the pocket. Also, the guy's not the great leader his father was plus he tends to throw a lot of interceptions. For those reasons and others, Jay Fiedler is the guy in Miami. The irony is, the Dolphins probably can't win a Super Bowl with him, but then again, they can't win without him. The Long Island Jew with Dumbo ears came in off the bench and ignited the Dolphin offense, rediscovering stud wideout Chris Chambers, which took some pressure off the not-so-good-at-run-blocking offensive line and allowed Ricky to run, Ricky, run. You know, it seems like the pieces are there for the Dolphins to put some points on the board. Ricky is a phenomenal back, Chambers has the potential to be a superstar receiver, and Randy McMichael is already an outstanding tight end. Yet the Dolphins rarely seem to control the line of scrimmage or make big plays when they need to against good teams. They did on Sunday night against the Redskins and the bastards gave me some hope that they can actually make the playoffs and maybe even win a round before bowing out to the better teams in the AFC.
The AFC playoff picture is, in fact, quite clear at the moment. KC will win the West, New England will win the East, one of Indy or Tennessee will win the South and the other is guaranteed one of the two Wild Card spots, and Baltimore and Cincy will battle it out for the North. The Dolphins should be the other Wild Card. Of course, they are the Dolphins and could still find a way to hand their playoff spot to the Ravens/Bengals loser or the undeserving Broncos. How could the Broncos lose to the Bears in Denver late in the season? Atrocious. Shameful.
The NFC playoff picture is slightly muddier, but not too messy. Carolina will win the South. Minnesota and Green Bay will fight to the finish in the North, with the winner moving on and the loser going home for the holidays. St. Louis looks to have the inside track to take the West, with Seattle earning a Wild Card. And Dallas or Philly will win the East while the other one takes the second Wild Card.
The AFC doesn't even have any longshots at this point. Faint hope remains in the NFC for the defending champion Buccaneers, the Niners, and the Saints. But the odds are slim and none, and slim is heading for the locker room with a high ankle sprain.
As for the Week 12 Picks, Piker has to take his hat off to the oddsmakers. Mid to late season NFL games are out of control and seemingly unpredictable, and yet these Vegas guys are setting spreads with pinpoint accuracy. 7 games this week had final scores within one point of the spread. 7 games! Piker went 3-3-1 in those games. Baltimore covered by a half point, Indy and Buffalo pushed, Carolina was a point short, Minnesota was a half point short after giving up a meaningless touchdown at the end, the Jets were a point short, and both Tennessee and Tampa Bay covered by a half point each. Only four games finished over a touchdown off the spread, and you can really tell the upsets by these numbers -- Cleveland failed to cover by ten points and Denver failed to cover by nineteen and a half points, while Philly covered by an extra seven and a half points and Kansas City failed to cover by eight points. I know this isn't news, but the oddsmakers' proficiency is what makes it so difficult to pick these games. I'm in awe.
WON: Baltimore, Green Bay, Houston, Philadelphia, Arizona, Tennessee, Tampa Bay
LOST: Cleveland, Carolina, Minnesota, N.Y. Jets, Denver, Kansas City, San Diego, Miami
PUSHED: Indianapolis
So, Piker's weekly record was yet again sub-par and sub-.500 at 7-8-1. The season total sits precariously at 78-74-8. If the downward trend continues, Piker may soon have to start dipping into the grocery budget to continue the season-long experiment. But, hey, that's what Pikers do.
PIKER'S POWER RANKINGS
After Week 12
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
3. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4)
4. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (5)
5. CAROLINA PANTHERS (3)
6. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (6)
7. DALLAS COWBOYS (10)
8. ST. LOUIS RAMS (7)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (8)
10. MIAMI DOLPHINS (11)
11. GREEN BAY PACKERS (12)
12. BALTIMORE RAVENS (13)
13. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (14)
14. CINCINNATI BENGALS (16)
15. DENVER BRONCOS (9)
16. TAMPA BAY BUCS (18)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (15)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (17)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (19)
20. NEW YORK JETS (23)
21. HOUSTON TEXANS (21)
22. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (24)
23. CHICAGO BEARS (26)
24. CLEVELAND BROWNS (20)
25. NEW YORK GIANTS (22)
26. BUFFALO BILLS (25)
27. ARIZONA CARDINALS (28)
28. OAKLAND RAIDERS (32)
29. DETROIT LIONS (29)
30. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (27)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (30)
32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (31)
After Week 12
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
3. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4)
4. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (5)
5. CAROLINA PANTHERS (3)
6. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (6)
7. DALLAS COWBOYS (10)
8. ST. LOUIS RAMS (7)
9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (8)
10. MIAMI DOLPHINS (11)
11. GREEN BAY PACKERS (12)
12. BALTIMORE RAVENS (13)
13. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (14)
14. CINCINNATI BENGALS (16)
15. DENVER BRONCOS (9)
16. TAMPA BAY BUCS (18)
17. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (15)
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (17)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (19)
20. NEW YORK JETS (23)
21. HOUSTON TEXANS (21)
22. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (24)
23. CHICAGO BEARS (26)
24. CLEVELAND BROWNS (20)
25. NEW YORK GIANTS (22)
26. BUFFALO BILLS (25)
27. ARIZONA CARDINALS (28)
28. OAKLAND RAIDERS (32)
29. DETROIT LIONS (29)
30. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (27)
31. ATLANTA FALCONS (30)
32. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (31)
Saturday, November 22, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 12
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/23 1:00 PM ET
Seattle
BALTIMORE -2.5
Indianapolis -3
BUFFALO
Pittsburgh
CLEVELAND -3
Carolina
DALLAS -3
San Francisco
GREEN BAY -4.5
New England -5.5
HOUSTON
Detroit
MINNESOTA -10.5
Jacksonville
N.Y. JETS -4
New Orleans
PHILADELPHIA -5.5
11/23 4:05 PM ET
St. Louis -7.5
ARIZONA
Chicago
DENVER -10.5
Tennessee -6.5
ATLANTA
Oakland
KANSAS CITY -11
Cincinnati -3
SAN DIEGO
11/23 8:30 PM ET
Washington
MIAMI -6.5
11/24 9:00 PM ET
N.Y. Giants
TAMPA BAY -5.5
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/23 1:00 PM ET
Seattle
BALTIMORE -2.5
Indianapolis -3
BUFFALO
Pittsburgh
CLEVELAND -3
Carolina
DALLAS -3
San Francisco
GREEN BAY -4.5
New England -5.5
HOUSTON
Detroit
MINNESOTA -10.5
Jacksonville
N.Y. JETS -4
New Orleans
PHILADELPHIA -5.5
11/23 4:05 PM ET
St. Louis -7.5
ARIZONA
Chicago
DENVER -10.5
Tennessee -6.5
ATLANTA
Oakland
KANSAS CITY -11
Cincinnati -3
SAN DIEGO
11/23 8:30 PM ET
Washington
MIAMI -6.5
11/24 9:00 PM ET
N.Y. Giants
TAMPA BAY -5.5
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 11 RESULTS
The flat out funniest response I ever got to the mundane question, "What's up?" was an expressionless "I can't call it." That's the way I feel about picking NFL games these days. After Week 9, the overall record for Piker Picks climbed to a season-high 14 games over .500. Factoring in Week 10 and Week 11, Piker Picks season totals currently stand at 71-66-7, only 5 measly games over the .500 mark. Actually, if you can believe it, last week's 6-10 result was an improvement over the previous two weeks. Truthfully, I don't think it's the Piker staff that has all of a sudden lost its ability to pick games, I think it's the NFL that's gone wacky. Last week wasn't so much about the staggering amount of upsets as much as it was about good teams not covering against bad teams (and the Piker staff's poor guesswork). Cincinnati beating KC was pretty shocking, although you kept wondering how long the Chiefs could go without a letdown. Most surprisingly, it was the Bengals' special teams that got the best of the Chiefs' and was the difference in the game. Also, former overall #1 draft pick Peter Warick broke out with what had to be his best game as a pro, and sent a message to the league that he can't quite be considered a bust yet. The Browns showed up last Sunday, tattooing the can't-compete-on-the-road Cardinals. I'm not exactly sure why, but Kelly Holcombe has become one of my favorite players. Last week's Piker Power Rankings had the Raiders dead last at #32. Maybe they had to hit rock bottom before they got well, because they snapped their losing streak by vanquishing the Vikings in Oakland. Minnesota is now going out of their way to prove to everyone that their 6-0 start was indeed inflated, as they've sprung a major leak and fallen back to Earth and landed with a heavy thud. Oh, and it now looks like the World Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers will not be able to make it to the playoff party after losing to the Green Bay Packers and dropping to 4-6 on the year. And finally, the Dolphins won ugly at home against the Ravens, but hey, at least they won.
WON: Baltimore, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Green Bay, New England, San Francisco
LOST: Buffalo, Carolina, St. Louis, Kansas City, Arizona, New Orleans, Tennessee, San Diego, Minnesota, Detroit
So, it was a 6-10 week that brought the overall record to 71-66-7. As of press time, it looks as though Piker will be picking alone this week for the first time all season. So, I don't know how quickly I would run to the bookie based on this week's Piker Picks. Then again, you may want to use it as a guide for what not to pick. If anyone decides to bet the opposite of Piker Picks, let me know the results, because we could be on to something here...
The flat out funniest response I ever got to the mundane question, "What's up?" was an expressionless "I can't call it." That's the way I feel about picking NFL games these days. After Week 9, the overall record for Piker Picks climbed to a season-high 14 games over .500. Factoring in Week 10 and Week 11, Piker Picks season totals currently stand at 71-66-7, only 5 measly games over the .500 mark. Actually, if you can believe it, last week's 6-10 result was an improvement over the previous two weeks. Truthfully, I don't think it's the Piker staff that has all of a sudden lost its ability to pick games, I think it's the NFL that's gone wacky. Last week wasn't so much about the staggering amount of upsets as much as it was about good teams not covering against bad teams (and the Piker staff's poor guesswork). Cincinnati beating KC was pretty shocking, although you kept wondering how long the Chiefs could go without a letdown. Most surprisingly, it was the Bengals' special teams that got the best of the Chiefs' and was the difference in the game. Also, former overall #1 draft pick Peter Warick broke out with what had to be his best game as a pro, and sent a message to the league that he can't quite be considered a bust yet. The Browns showed up last Sunday, tattooing the can't-compete-on-the-road Cardinals. I'm not exactly sure why, but Kelly Holcombe has become one of my favorite players. Last week's Piker Power Rankings had the Raiders dead last at #32. Maybe they had to hit rock bottom before they got well, because they snapped their losing streak by vanquishing the Vikings in Oakland. Minnesota is now going out of their way to prove to everyone that their 6-0 start was indeed inflated, as they've sprung a major leak and fallen back to Earth and landed with a heavy thud. Oh, and it now looks like the World Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers will not be able to make it to the playoff party after losing to the Green Bay Packers and dropping to 4-6 on the year. And finally, the Dolphins won ugly at home against the Ravens, but hey, at least they won.
WON: Baltimore, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Green Bay, New England, San Francisco
LOST: Buffalo, Carolina, St. Louis, Kansas City, Arizona, New Orleans, Tennessee, San Diego, Minnesota, Detroit
So, it was a 6-10 week that brought the overall record to 71-66-7. As of press time, it looks as though Piker will be picking alone this week for the first time all season. So, I don't know how quickly I would run to the bookie based on this week's Piker Picks. Then again, you may want to use it as a guide for what not to pick. If anyone decides to bet the opposite of Piker Picks, let me know the results, because we could be on to something here...
PIKER POWER RANKINGS
After Week 11
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
3. CAROLINA PANTHERS (3)
4. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4)
5. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (5)
6. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (8)
7. ST. LOUIS RAMS (6)
8. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
9. DENVER BRONCOS (14)
10. DALLAS COWBOYS (7)
11. MIAMI DOLPHINS (11)
12. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)
13. BALTIMORE RAVENS (12)
14. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (10)
15. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
16. CINCINNATI BENGALS (19)
17. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
18. TAMPA BAY BUCS (13)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (16)
20. CLEVELAND BROWNS (24)
21. HOUSTON TEXANS (25)
22. NEW YORK GIANTS (20)
23. NEW YORK JETS (21)
24. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (23)
25. BUFFALO BILLS (22)
26. CHICAGO BEARS (28)
27. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (29)
28. ARIZONA CARDINALS (26)
29. DETROIT LIONS (27)
30. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
31. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (30)
32. OAKLAND RAIDERS (32)
After Week 11
(Rank Last Week in Parentheses)
1. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1)
2. TENNESSEE TITANS (2)
3. CAROLINA PANTHERS (3)
4. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4)
5. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (5)
6. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (8)
7. ST. LOUIS RAMS (6)
8. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9)
9. DENVER BRONCOS (14)
10. DALLAS COWBOYS (7)
11. MIAMI DOLPHINS (11)
12. GREEN BAY PACKERS (15)
13. BALTIMORE RAVENS (12)
14. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (10)
15. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (17)
16. CINCINNATI BENGALS (19)
17. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (18)
18. TAMPA BAY BUCS (13)
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (16)
20. CLEVELAND BROWNS (24)
21. HOUSTON TEXANS (25)
22. NEW YORK GIANTS (20)
23. NEW YORK JETS (21)
24. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (23)
25. BUFFALO BILLS (22)
26. CHICAGO BEARS (28)
27. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (29)
28. ARIZONA CARDINALS (26)
29. DETROIT LIONS (27)
30. ATLANTA FALCONS (31)
31. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (30)
32. OAKLAND RAIDERS (32)
Saturday, November 15, 2003
PIKER PICKS: WEEK 11
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/16 1:00 PM ET
(3-6) Houston
(4-5) BUFFALO -7
(4-5) Washington
(7-2) CAROLINA -6
(6-3) St. Louis -6
(3-6) CHICAGO
(9-0) Kansas City -6
(4-5) CINCINNATI
(3-6) Arizona
(3-6) CLEVELAND -6
(5-4) Baltimore
(5-4) MIAMI -6
(2-7) Atlanta
(4-5) NEW ORLEANS -8.5
(4-5) N.Y. Giants
(6-3) PHILADELPHIA -3.5
(2-7) Jacksonville
(7-2) TENNESSEE -10
11/16 4:05 PM ET
(2-7) San Diego
(5-4) DENVER -8
(3-6) N.Y. Jets
(7-2) INDIANAPOLIS -6
(6-3) Minnesota -4.5
(2-7) OAKLAND
(3-6) Detroit
(6-3) SEATTLE -10
(4-5) Green Bay
(4-5) TAMPA BAY -4
11/16 8:30 PM ET
(7-2) Dallas
(7-2) NEW ENGLAND -4
11/17 9:00 PM ET
(3-6) Pittsburgh
(4-5) SAN FRANCISCO -4
Home Team in CAPS
Piker Picks in Bold
11/16 1:00 PM ET
(3-6) Houston
(4-5) BUFFALO -7
(4-5) Washington
(7-2) CAROLINA -6
(6-3) St. Louis -6
(3-6) CHICAGO
(9-0) Kansas City -6
(4-5) CINCINNATI
(3-6) Arizona
(3-6) CLEVELAND -6
(5-4) Baltimore
(5-4) MIAMI -6
(2-7) Atlanta
(4-5) NEW ORLEANS -8.5
(4-5) N.Y. Giants
(6-3) PHILADELPHIA -3.5
(2-7) Jacksonville
(7-2) TENNESSEE -10
11/16 4:05 PM ET
(2-7) San Diego
(5-4) DENVER -8
(3-6) N.Y. Jets
(7-2) INDIANAPOLIS -6
(6-3) Minnesota -4.5
(2-7) OAKLAND
(3-6) Detroit
(6-3) SEATTLE -10
(4-5) Green Bay
(4-5) TAMPA BAY -4
11/16 8:30 PM ET
(7-2) Dallas
(7-2) NEW ENGLAND -4
11/17 9:00 PM ET
(3-6) Pittsburgh
(4-5) SAN FRANCISCO -4