Monday, June 07, 2004


Returned to work on Will & Grace today. All in all, it's a pretty great job in a fun atmosphere. But I don't like working. I don't like having to go to the same place every day. I know, I know, everyone does it. That's the way the world works. You go to work five days a week to earn money for food and shelter and entertainment and consumer products and everything else. It's just so monotonous. At least there's a built-in break for two months in the television industry. If not for that, I'd go out of my mind, convinced I was stuck on a merry-go-round I could never dismount.

I will confess that I'm unsatisfied by my career. If I felt I was successful and achieving and on my way to achieving more, perhaps I would feel differently about going back to work. Maybe I wouldn't mind the grind nearly as much. But I've been doing the same purgatory-level job for eight or nine years, and I've never in my life had the experience of being promoted. I'm aware that my chosen field doesn't exactly work that way, however I'm craving a feeling of progress. Starting yet another season of sitcom television without having advanced at all, I'm left with a dissatisfaction that will not be cured by my job. I must fulfull myself with activities and projects outside of work. And of course, with my home life, family, and friends. It's not about money. Well, not entirely. It's about accomplishment and recognition. Those things are important to me. Even though I don't particularly like working, I must put in the effort to achieve them.

For some reason, I love clean breaks and fresh starts. Knowing I was starting work today, I had to find a way to service that need this past weekend. So, yesterday, I watched the entire three and a half hour French Open Men's Final between Guillermo Coria and Gaston Gaudio, culminating two weeks of religious viewing. Not only did I enjoy watching a marathon match that contained all the drama one could want from tennis, I also got a sense of completion. I watched the entire tournament from start to finish. Done. And I watched the season finale of "The Sopranos," which I thought was fantastic. Coupled with the penultimate episode, "The Sopranos" finished off the season in powerful fashion, and in the process, following the recently-concluded May sweeps period, "The Sopranos" finale closed out the 2003-2004 TV season. Done. Sure, it bothered me a little that the Calgary Flames lost in overtime to the Tampa Bay Lightning on Saturday night, failing to win the Stanley Cup and pushing the series to a Game 7 tonight. Not because I'm a big Calgary fan, but because the hockey season didn't end before I went back to work. Having watched almost every single game of the NBA playoffs during my two-month hiatus, the fact that the NBA Finals started yesterday also prevented me from getting the clean break I so desired. That's the way life goes. No matter how much I want things to be neat and clean, it can never be perfect. The French Open and "The Sopranos" will have to suffice in the clean break department. As far as a fresh start is concerned, it's a new season. New people are running the show. New writers are starting tomorrow. And I have a new opportunity to try to get what I want. Clean and fresh. Kind of.

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