I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I -- I’M REALLY NOT SURE I CAN
“And then... depression set in.” Bill Murray’s prophetic words from the comedy classic “Stripes” vividly capture my current state of mind. I sit here at my desk, which now has a giant hole burned through the center, in what used to be my office until three of the walls were unceremoniously blown out. It’s quiet. Too quiet. The phones aren’t ringing, the fax machines aren’t beeping. No longer is there a buzz in the office air. No commotion. No palpable sense that we all just might be on the ground floor of something that could be really great someday. In fact, there’s nothing left at all, save for the remnants of what must have been The Party of the New Millennium. I sit amongst the ruins, alone.
I suppose it’s back to the proverbial drawing board for me, even though I can’t draw a lick. Back to square one. Most likely that square will closely resemble a claustrophobic cubicle in some non-descript office at some lame company that I could give two shits about.
I’m sulking. Really I have no one to blame but myself. I was the one who decided to go on vacation, even when I wasn’t absolutely sure I had earned one. I knew it was a risk. But I did it anyway and I don’t regret it. I created this thing in the first place. It was my energy that fed the great Piker machine. I did it once and I can do it again. I alone am responsible for the ultimate fate of Piker.
I know it’s steep, but I’m headed back up that mountain. Climb on. I’ll take you to the top.