NETFLIX NET LOSS

I'm no expert at reading into quarterly reports, but I always find it intriguing when a company announcing it's losing money is taken as a positive sign. Netlix, my preferred online DVD rental service, reported earnings today and the news was good. For the quarter, the company had a net loss of $4.5 million, or 20 cents a share. That compared to a net loss of $4.5 million in the first quarter last year, but a loss of $2.20 a share. What confuses me is the profit figure of $31,000. How can a company operate at a net loss and make a profit? All that doesn't sound so good on the surface, but the numbers show that the company is showing outstanding growth at a faster rate than expected. I'm a huge fan of the service, which allows me to rent 3 movies at a time from my online rental queue, and I can rent as many movies as I want for 20 bucks a month. The postage is paid and the turnaround is a lightning fast three days. I'm catching up on all kinds of old movies -- foreign films, musicals, classics, new releases -- and I always have something on hand that I want to watch. The best part is that since I've been using Netflix I haven't set foot in a Blockbuster Video store. Take that, you evil corporate bastards!

PEOPLE REALLY ARE WATCHING ELLIE



This may not be common knowledge, but through six seasons of sitcom television I have yet to work on a show that made it to its second season. Technically, this is the second season of "Watching Ellie", but they've only produced a total of 19 episodes, so it's as if they've only done one real season. After assisting the writing staffs of "Boston Common", "Alright Already", "Maggie Winters", "Sugar Hill", "Battery Park", and "The Ellen Show", I may actually have a shot of working on a returning show. Last night was the season premiere of "Watching Ellie" and America was indeed watching. The show finished second in its time slot to one of my favorites, "24", and retained 88% of its lead-in audience, which was a Museum of Television and Radio special honoring the funniest women in comedy. Next week, the show will stay in its regular time slot at 9:30pm on Tuesday, but it will be preceeded by "Frasier", which is slumping badly this season and dying a slow death. Hopefully, people will continue to watch "Ellie" and I won't have to struggle with my employment search next season. Maybe I'll actually be given a shot as a baby writer...

WET HOT BUTTON AMERICAN SUMMER

Over at The Hot Button, internet film columnist extraodinaire David Poland has put together his Big Summer Movie Preview before escaping for a spring fling in Bermuda. He's pretty confident that this is going to be a blockbuster summer in terms of quality and box office. I'm hoping he's right.

ROY'S NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE

As Brenda so eloquently stated on "Six Feet Under" last night, "Timing is everything in life." Three years ago, Roy Williams was offered the job as head basketball coach at North Carolina, his alma mater, replacing the retiring Bill Guthridge. Guthridge had succeeded the legendary Dean Smith, Williams' mentor, just a couple of years earlier. Back then, the timing wasn't right for Roy Williams, as he declined the offer and stayed at Kansas. In the three-year span since, Williams led Kansas to two Final Fours, this year and last, but failed to win his elusive first national championship both times. The timing must be right now, because Roy Williams broke the news to his Jayhawk players today that he's leaving Kansas to seize a second golden opportunity to click his heels and return home as the coach of the North Carolina Tarheels.

And somewhere, Matt Doherty is feeling like an even bigger asshole than he already was...

MILLER GENUINE DAFT

Salon's outstanding television correspondent gets a little fired up about Dennis Miller's HBO special "The Raw Feed", which aired live this Saturday night. In her article entitled "Dennis the Menace", the astute critic lambasts Miller's latest stand-up performance and dissects his reference-laden brand of humor. If you came here looking for beer and thought the title was a typo, your Miller Time awaits here...

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF PIKER

I read the blog today, oh boy

I'm not sure if you people know this or not, but Piker doesn't have the greatest work ethic in the world. Even when Piker is working, Piker is not really working that hard. But today, Piker was and is still... working. Notice how Piker has now taken to referring to itself in the third person? Anyway, Piker transitioned from "Watching Ellie" (which premieres this Tuesday, April 15) to a pilot called "Rubbing Charlie." So now Piker is involved with both watching Ellie and rubbing Charlie. Wait a second...

So, this is actually the first break Piker has had today. Piker got a call on the supersecret Pikerphone while driving to work. Apparently, Piker's Boss needed Piker, but when Piker got here, Piker's Boss didn't need Piker anymore. As it turned out, Piker's Boss became confused when looking at yesterday's draft and thinking it was today's draft. In the interim, someone handed Piker's Boss today's draft and the confusion was cleared up before Piker could navigate the morning rush hour traffic and park the Pikermobile. But, ever since Piker walked through the door, Piker has been working. Piker's Boss needed to make a last minute change to the script, so Piker had to type that up and distribute it to the proper parties. Then Piker sat in on the table read, at which Piker laughed out loud a few times and was overall quite entertained. Then Piker had to sit in the corner and commit to paper everything that was said while the network gave notes to Piker's Boss. Then Piker moved slightly closer to the table after the network folks took off and the studio people took their turn at giving notes to Piker's Boss, but Piker still had to record every word that was uttered. After that, Piker had to quickly type up the notes and hand them out to Piker's Boss and the visiting writers who were helping out Piker's Boss. Then Piker sat in on the several-hours-long yet fairly amusing writers meeting and once again took down everything that everybody said. (Note: During that time there was a slight break for lunch, at which the writers ate some fancy Italian food while Piker suffered through a meal of bulk-ordered Panda Express.) After the writers had gone through the entire script, Piker's Boss let them go and Piker sat down to type up all the notes from the several-hours-long writers meeting. After having a colleague proofread the typed-up notes, Piker then handed said notes to Piker's Boss. Since that time, Piker has been attempting to complete the process of clearing the character names with the research and legal departments and filling in on the phones when Piker's co-workers were too swamped to pick it up. Otherwise, it's not really Piker's job to answer phones. But, that's the kind of piker that Piker is. And right now, Piker is a piker on hold, waiting for Piker's Boss to communicate when the script changes will be done, whether tonight or sometime this weekend. Exactly when that will happen is any piker's guess.

I'd love to turn you on...

CAN'T CATCH HIM

Premiere magazine's 2003 Power List is out and Steven Spielberg is #1. Spielberg was #6 last year, but took over the top spot after directing two hits this past year with "Minority Report" and "Catch Me If You Can." The Power List issue hits newsstands on Monday, but you wouldn't know anything about The List is you visited the lame Premiere site. Though I conducted a fairly thorough search, I was unable to locate the entire list anywhere. But through various articles, I was able to put together a list of 20 confirmed spots.

#1 - Steven Spielberg
#13 - Tom Hanks
#14 - Tom Cruise
#15 - Mel Gibson
#16 - Julia Roberts
#18 - Brian Grazer
#19 - Jerry Bruckheimer
#20 - Peter Jackson
#21 - M. Night Shyamalan
#26 - Ron Howard
#27 - Andy and Larry Wachowski
#28 - Denzel Washington
#31 - Nicole Kidman
#32 - Reese Witherspoon
#47 - Jennifer Lopez
#63 - Renee Zellweger
#74 - Jack Nicholson
#96 - Halle Berry
#98 - Colin Ferrell
#99 - Kate Hudson

Where's Piker?

I AM NOT A RAGBAG!

Entry: miser
Function: noun
Definition: hoarder
Concept: financial entity
Source: Roget's Interactive Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.0.0)
Copyright © 2003 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Synonyms: Shylock, cheapskate, churl, curmudgeon, glutton, harpy, hoarder, hog, hunks, misanthrope, misanthropist, moneygrubber, muckworm, niggard, penny pincher, pig, piker, pinchfist, pinchpenny, screw, scrimp, scrooge, skinflint, stiff, tightwad

Entry: vagabond
Function: noun
Definition: wanderer
Concept: unsocial entity
Source: Roget's Interactive Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.0.0)
Copyright © 2003 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Synonyms: arab, beachcomber, beggar, bum, deadbeat, derelict, down-and-out, drifter, floater, gypsy, hobo, idler, itinerant, loafer, migrant, nomad, outcast, piker, ragbag, rascal, road agent, rogue, rolling stone, rover, stiff, stray, street arab, stumblebum, tramp, transient, traveller, vagrant, wayfarer

EVERYBODY LOVES A CRITIC

Salon must really love their new TV and entertainment correspondent. They've run a piece of hers nearly every day this week. Today, she raves about "Everybody Loves Raymond" and interviews the show's creator Phil Rosenthal. If you haven't been following these Salon links and clicking through the quick ad they force you to view for total access, you should start doing so. Not only is her writing insightful and entertaining, but she'll save you a whole lot of wasteful channel surfing time. If you let her.

24/6

"24" rebounded in a big way last night. I thought last week's episode was weak, a placeholder segment that felt like it was running in place, and not even on a treadmill. But the show returned to form this week. I enjoyed the smoky gunfight and the developing bond between Kiefer and Cate. And what a great ending. Almost Yoda-like. "In-side......."

But, even when "24" is at its peak, it is still only the second best show currently airing original episodes. I missed the "Six Feet Under" episode that aired on Sunday, but I thankfully I caught it last night. "SFU" consistently operates at the very highest level and continues to display more insight into relationships than most super-therapists. That initial atom-splitting spark of new love is in the room with Claire and Russell in every scene, complete with artistic awkwardness and the ongoing mystery as to Russell's ultimate sexuality. The budding friendship which could turn into something more between Ruth and her new housemate Arthur is highly original and weird and infinitely amusing. Their scenes contain more laughs than the majority of sitcoms on television nowadays. Not much David and Keith this week, but the one scene of them chatting in bed about the girls they used to sleep with made me laugh and cringe and admire the writing and the acting and the reality of it all. The Nate and Lisa stuff was simply inspired, with their passive-aggressive banter finally boiling over on their private walk in the woods during a camping trip. Claire de-virginized Russell, Ruth and Arthur scampered out of the room after accidentally catching a moment of porn on the tube, David and Keith routinely popped in some porn before bed, and Nate and Lisa were forced to compare their sex life to that of their frisky friends. In this episode, sex was under every rock, and then finally, on top of one.

FROM SESAME STREET TO THE STRIP

Who says Salon's resident television critic doesn't have range? On Monday, she celebrated the premiere of the 34th season of the ageless wonder that is PBS' "Sesame Street." Then on Tuesday, she reviewed Lucky the new Vegas-based John Corbett comedy on FX. I'm betting she goes for the kids show over the gamblefest.

CHAMPS A L'ORANGE

After 27 years of coaching Syracuse basketball, Jim Boeheim finally has his national championship. And a snazzy new hat.



After 1 year of playing college basketball, Carmelo Anthony lead his team to a national championship, made the All-America team, and established himself as a can't-miss pro prospect. I see no reason why he should return for another season. He has nothing left to prove at this level. And that big smile is going to land him some major endorsement contracts.



So another phenomenal NCAA Tournament comes to an end. One more shining moment. Now I actually have to go back to living my life. To quote Bill Murray as John Winger from "Stripes" after he lost his job, his car, and his girlfriend, "And then depression set in..."

THE FINAL GAME

[2] Kansas vs [3] Syracuse
9:18 PM ET New Orleans, LA

Kansas and Syracuse meet tonight in the Final Two after the Jayhawks smelted the Golden Eagles and the Orangemen hooked the 'Horns in the semis. All but one of the ESPN Experts are picking Kansas in tonight's final. Maybe this is my heart talking because I want to see Jim Boehiem get his first national championship before Roy Williams, but I think Kansas played to perfection against Marquette and won't be able to duplicate the performance against Syracuse. While Texas didn't have anybody to stop Carmelo Anthony, Keith Langford will be given the task this evening. But, I'm with Andy Katz in wondering if anybody in college basketball can stop that manchild. With all those talented freshmen and sophomores, what if Syracuse wins tonight and everyone comes back next year? Could they possibly join the list of College Basketball's Greatest Teams?

Pick: Syracuse

JUMPIN' JETER

Pending a second opinion by world-renown orthopedist Dr. James Andrews, Derek Jeter will not need surgery on his dislocated left shoulder. Fantastic news for Yankee fans the world over!

FINAL FOUR FEVER

Dick Clark vs. Walter Cronkite. Bob Dole vs. Chris Farley. Confused? Check out this fact sheet for the Final Four teams for an explanation.

"AMERICAN IDOL": THE VIDEO GAME

Coming this fall, PC and PlayStation 2 gamers will be able to create, train, and control characters to compete in the video game version of "American Idol". Players have to hit a combination of buttons to make the video performers dance and sing before they submit themselves to commentary and criticism from judges Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell, just like on the TV version of "American Idol". From the description, it sounds to me like a combination of The Sims and Dance Dance Revolution U.S.A.

ALL-AMERICAN

The Associated Press announced their AP All-America Team today. David West of Xavier was the leading vote-getter and the only one from the preseason All-America team to be named to the postseason team. Hollis Price was sixth in the voting, Carmelo Anthony was seventh. Only three underclassman out of the fifteen players on the three All-America teams. Each team in the Final Four is represented by at least one player, three on the First Team, one on the Second Team, one on the Third Team.

FIRST TEAM

David West, Xavier, senior
Nick Collison, Kansas, senior
Josh Howard, Wake Forest, senior
Dwayne Wade, Marquette, junior
T.J. Ford, Texas, sophomore

SECOND TEAM

Hollis Price, Oklahoma, senior
Kyle Korver, Creighton, senior
Troy Bell, Boston College, senior
Jason Gardner, Arizona, senior
Carmelo Anthony, Syracuse, freshman

THIRD TEAM

Brian Cook, Illinois, senior
Reece Gaines, Louisville, senior
Kirk Hinrich, Kansas, senior
Keith Bogans, Kentucky, senior
Ron Slay, Tennessee, senior

"AMERICAN LIFE"

Pop diva and Material Girl Madonna made the difficult decision to pull her new video "American Life" before it aired here in America. The video, scheduled to premiere tomorrow on VH1, had already aired in Germany, but on Monday, Madonna issued the following statement:

"I have decided not to release my new video. It was filmed before the war started and I do not believe it is appropriate to air it at this time. Due to the volatile state of the world and out of sensitivity and respect to the armed forces, who I support and pray for, I do not want to risk offending anyone who might misinterpret the meaning of this video."

My absolute favorite writer for Salon currently has a cover story on the subject entitled "The Madonna Video You Can't See." Read it.

You want to see the video?

B-BALL BUSINESS

Some mid-week hoops news. The Matt Doherty Era is over in Carolina. The Tarheels' head coach resigned after three seasons. Speculation on who will succeed him has unearthed a distinguished and accomplished list of potential candidates -- including Kansas coach Roy Williams, Stanford coach Mike Montgomery, Utah coach Rick Majerus, Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson, and Milwaukee Bucks coach George Karl. Dickie V weighs in. Meanwhile, it looks like a done deal here in LA. It is expected that Pittsburgh head coach Ben Howland will be introduced as the new coach of the UCLA Bruins as early as tomorrow. And finally... Dominique Wilkins, the Human Highlight Film himself, interviewed for the vacant head coaching job at Georgia.

It's an All-Big East final in the NIT with Georgetown and St. John's meeting in The Garden for the title.

Andy Katz on why the tournament is so special.

BLOGGIN' BASEBALL

The 2003 baseball season is officially underway and Peter Gammons believes that after seeing the Angles and the Twins battling it out in the ALCS and then the Angels winning the World Series over the Giants last year, most of the teams in the league can hold out some legitimate hope of reaching the postseason this year.



The Yankees won their opener yesterday 8-4 over the Blue Jays, but it was a costly win, as the Yanks lost superstar shortstop Derek Jeter to a dislocated shoulder on a freak play at third. They're optimistically saying he should be out six weeks. The Bronx Bombers took it out on the Blue Jays today, pounding them 10-1.



With their exorbitant payroll, the Yankees have to expect to get back to the playoffs. But, according to ESPN's expert predictions, the Oakland A's are the team to beat. Of their 27 experts, 11 think the A's will be champs, 4 think it'll be the Red Sox, 3 votes each for the Yankees and Diamondbacks, 2 votes each for the Giants and Cardinals, one guy picks the Astros, and one guy picks the Twins. So, out of all those experts, no one thinks the Angels will repeat?